Chicago Bears secondary’s nickname: The I-Pass

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I said this in the last thread and I am declaring it the new nickname of the Chicago Bears cornerbacks and safeties. If anybody tries to steal this fucking name, they shall be burned for theft.

So without further a do, the secondary of the Chicago Bears shall be known as: The I-Pass

ipass2

“The first week of the season, we were down early. We were stubborn not to use the I-Pass all game. But when we really needed it, our quarterback Aaron installed the I-Pass and I ended up scoring the game winning touchdown free and easy. This is a must have for any team playing the Bears.”

– Greg Jennings, Green Bay, WI

“After the 1st quarter of our game against the Bears two weeks ago, I installed the I-Pass and had an easy catch for a long touchdown. No stops. No slowing down. And my stats? (Cue Irish Yeti) Well, they went through the roof that game. Thank you I-Pass!”

– Roddy White, Atlanta, GA

“I thought I wasn’t playing my best earlier in the season. But thank God the Chicago Bears came to town this past Sunday. I played them with my I-Pass and helped my team put up 31 points in the 1st half!”

– Carson Palmer, Cincinnati, OH

Now you can get yours now with free shipping! The I-Pass: Not just for cars. But now availble for teams who play the Chicago Bears. Quarterback not in a groove? Running back not getting it done? Just play the Bears with your I-Pass from the Illinois Tollway and see your offense drive right by. No more stopping at tolls or construction sites. No more screaming at your players for running the wrong routes. Just mount the I-Pass onto your offense and see your team put up big stats! (Cue Irish Yeti)

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17 Responses to “Chicago Bears secondary’s nickname: The I-Pass”

  1. Da Bears Says:

    The cubs officially have new owners!!!! will they fire moe hendry??

  2. Da Bears Says:

    cubs officially have new owners!! will they fire moe hendry??

  3. DaBears27 Says:

    Cubs Finally have new owners, will they fire moe hendry??

  4. robert Says:

    Hey Fro just thought you would be intereseted in knowing Hogan and Bischoff signed with tna

  5. Fro Dog Says:

    Robert,

    I read that a couple hours back. This is good news. It might be what the doctor ordered. Maybe now that Hogan has signed, he can bring Mr. Kennedy along for the ride. I said a few months ago that TNA is one big star away from taking off. Not trying to get ahead of myself but this could be a start of another ratings war. Regardless if Hogan wrestles or not, his presence alone equals ratings.

    This also might wake up Vince McMahon and the rest of WWE to finally wake the fuck the up and knock it off with all this garbage they are putting there on Monday Nights.

  6. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    The sale to Ricketts is final.

    http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/1848429,cubs-sale-ricketts-family-final-102790.article

    I now expect to see Kenney, Hendry, Louser and Rothschild get their walking papers in the next couple weeks.

  7. Irish Yeti Says:

    I was going to leave this one alone because the whole premise of your post is pretty retarded. I think you thought you were being hilarious when you “came up” with this nickname.

    Well, let’s see here. Roddy White had 56 yards in his game against the Bears. If 56 yards constitutes making his stats go through the roof, then wow. Just wow. If I were to point out a game where his stats went through the roof, then I’d prefer to point out the game against San Fransisco where he got 210 yards against. But hey, maybe that’s just me.

    Also, I can point out 2 receivers who easily had better games than White (not named OchoCinco because Palmer was already used).. Calvin Johnson, who had 133 yards against the Bears, or Nate Fucking Burleson, who has 109 yards against the Bears.

    I’m not going to say the Bears have a great secondary, because they don’t. However, they are not just a group of pushovers. They’re more of a middle of the road pass D. As of last weeks games, they are 16th in the league. Not the pushover you think they are. 220 p/game.. 3 yards over the league average. There are far bigger things to complain about this team. How about that horrendous O-Line?

    Sunday was horrible, but just complain about the right things.

  8. robert Says:

    yetti no one got sacked last year more than roethlisberger but who won the superbowl.. as a matter of fact on the podium he said offensive line whos laughing now…one of those passes white caught was a 40 yard td score and he led the falcons in receiving yards that day

  9. Fro Dog Says:

    First of all Yeti, your stats don’t mean shit. I can’t keep repeating myself to tell you how stats don’t tell the whole story. But I will try one more time to see if you can comprehend:

    If a basketball player gets no points, 1 assist and 1 rebound, did he have a good game? What if that same player defended the best player on another team and because of his defense, the best player went shot 1-9 against him?

    Still can’t comprehend that?

    I am not a genius. Never said I was. The fact that I put “My stats went through the roof” was to show that anybody who plays offense against the Bears will have a great game in terms of yards because of the shitty defense.

    By the way, no one has been bitching more about the offensive line than myself. Once again, I invite you to read the past few Bears articles I wrote on this website. That’s of course if you can read and comprehend at the same time. It takes two you know…

  10. jimmy d Says:

    Fro,

    Did any people ever respond to your request to have a “border get-together” when the Bears and Packers play again on December 13th? I’d be in if we can find a “tweener” place for all to meet.

    I’m so fucking amped up for this Sunday’s 3:15 p.m. CST kick-off between the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota ViQueens. I’m gonna be at Lambeau Field ready to make so much noise that you’ll be able to hear us in Illinois.

    Brett’s finally gonna get his chance to stick it in the ass of all of the fans that cheered him on, supported him, laughed with him and cried with him for 16 years. Why? Because he’s not man enough to admit that he’s a fucking little baby that’s starved for attention. No? That’s not it??? Well then it must be because he has a vendetta for Ted Thompson who finally called his bluff and said “go fuck yourself – we don’t need your shit anymore” (although Brett denies that). It’s interesting how Brett wanted (nearly demanded) that he be traded to the Queens as soon as the Packers said “you can come back, but you’re gonna have to compete for the starting position”. But no, just like the Queens just recently found out….training camp’s for everybody else….but, not me, I’m Brett Favre. Here we are….another team sport where an individual is placing his wants/needs above those of the organization.

    I can only hope that we beat the ever loving fuck out of the Purple Pussies. AND, we’ve GOT to get at least one bone jarring hit on the 40 year old, future Hall of Fame, quarterback. GO PACK!!!!

    Later,
    Jimmy D.

    P.S. I’ve still got 2 tickets left for $500 apiece (hell, I’d even let ’em go for $800 for the pair) if anyone wants to go. They’re 18 rows off the field at the 30 yard line.

  11. Fro Dog Says:

    JimmyD,

    Mike said he would come and Scott said he would come too if it was in Chicago somewhere. I was going to write another post about it and take a list and location down. I would be fine going to the border or the city. It doesn’t matter to me. I just want to take a list down and see what’s the best option. I said in the post that snow could be a factor since it’s in December so we should plan ahead.

  12. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    Irish Yeti…You can take those stats and shove them up your loose ass.

  13. genrebuster Says:

    Dear Mr. Ricketts:

    Have mercy on us fans.
    Fire Jim Hendry.
    Take out the fucking garbage.

    Thanks in advance for your time and consideration.

  14. MadCityMac Says:

    Jimmy, sweet post my man! That cracker-ass hillbilly is going down in flames on Sunday aft. I hope! That said, I’d love to go, but my daughter has a concert at UW-W at 7:30 Sunday night, so I’ll have just enough time to get to Whitewater from Madison after the Packer win. As Fro said, I’m planning on being in for the Packer-Bear game, especially if you and Keith can both come down. Since I broke up with my girlfriend last night, I don’t have anybody to answer to anyway! Stateline would be best for me as well. I know of a bar in Harvard called Bops that is owned by a guy who used to come up to Madison for the Badger games when I tended bar at the Plaza.

    Hendry, Piniella, Kenney, Rothschild, Uncle Miltie, etc,; DON’T LET THE FUCKING DOOR HIT YOU IN THE ASS ON YOUR WAY OUT OF CHICAGO!!!!! If Ricketts doesn’t get rid of most if not all of these assclowns, it’s “same shit, different day!” I’m hopeful…

  15. Fro Dog Says:

    Mike,

    I really want Favre and the Vikings to go down this Sunday. The fact that Favre ruined my childhood isn’t a big deal anymore. But whatever chance the Bears have left in this division, the Packers need to win this game to make it interesting again for both our teams.

    Vikings fans are the worse in football. Right below Raiders fans.

  16. ksmc2000 Says:

    I think the Packers have a good shot at winning on Sunday if they are able to keep Jared Allen under control. That guy is playing like a man posessed. Favre is still playing well, but is prone to turning the ball over. He’s not the same player he was years ago.

    Jimmy, did you hear about the WAPL Radio promotion that will take place on Friday night at a bar near Lambeau Field. They’re calling it: Funeral for Favre, complete with coffin, etc, etc. They are going to put his legacy in Green Bay to rest.

  17. Notes on the Bears. « Fire Jerry Angelo – Fire Jim Hendry Says:

    […] to perform at a higher level? Will the defense for another season let offenses install the infamous “I-Pass” on […]

SHOW DA FIRE AND PASSION, MY FRENDT!

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