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Recap done! – Buccaneers 10 Bears 0 – End of 1st quarter

September 17, 2017

If the Bears somehow come back to win, fine. But, I’ve seen enough to decide that the Bears will lose. Here’s your recap.

Mike Glennon: 6/6 and then, throw a pass in triple-coverage with another tight end wide open? INTERCEPTION!

Defense: Forced a field goal and a punt. Great. The secondary still sucks.

Tarik Cohen: Dude, what the fuck? Don’t pick up a punt that’s bouncing. That lead to the touchdown.

Next up are the Steelers in Pittsburgh. 0-3, here we come.


A picture that would piss off many of you

September 14, 2017

Come on George. Do the right thing for this franchise and can these two guys along with John Fox. If you truly give a shit about the future of this team, you would make these sweeping changes.

PATHETIC on every level: Falcons 23 Bears 17

September 10, 2017

Well, it’s a new season. But it’s the same shit. Today, we are reminded once again what a bad team looks like. Good teams find ways to win these kinds of games. Bad teams find ways to lose. Once again, the Bears displayed the latter.

Mike Glennon/play-calling: Fuck this guy and the idiot Oompa Loompa for an offensive coordinator. 1st and Goal at the 5 with 23 seconds left and it’s three straight passes? RUN. THE. FUCKING. BALL. At least on first down. That way, they still have one or two plays left to throw it. Instead, Josh Bellamy drops a pass. Then, Howard takes his eye off the ball at the last second for an incompletion. That is followed by a dropped/deflection to Zach Miller. 4th down and the offensive line can’t protect the fucking idiot playing quarterback. Glennon can’t run. He can’t move out of the pocket. Good quarterbacks are usually ones who have either great offensive lines like brick walls or they’re mobile. Glennon doesn’t have either of those options.

Secondary: Oh, lord, do these guys suck or what? Austin Hooper was wide open all the way down the field on the last touchdown by the Falcons. He went 88 yards for that and when the secondary did catch up to him, they couldn’t tackle them to save their lives. Hooper all by himself down the field gave me nightmares of Reggie Wayne in the Super Bowl against the Bears and Randall Cobb in 2013 in the last game of the season. It was absolutely stupid. Teams are laughing at the Bears now.

Tarik Cohen: He was the only bright spot in this game. 5 rushes for 66 yards on the ground. He had 8 catches for 47 yards and was a threat all day. It wasn’t his fault that the rest of his teammates sucked.

Akiem Hicks: This fucking guy plays well the entire game. Then, he decides to still try to tackle Matt Ryan with the ball well out of his hands. The result? Roughing the passer. Instead of getting the Falcons to punt, they end up getting another field goal out of it. I have no idea if this was the play that decided the game, but it made the Bears attempt to win the game with a touchdown rather than aiming for overtime. But, it wouldn’t have mattered because it would be so “Bear” to have Connor Barth miss a chip-shot field goal late.

Next up: The Bears head South to take on known rapist, Jameis Winston and the Buccaneers. Since the Bears clearly aren’t going to do a damn thing all year, the least they can do is beat the ever living shit out of Winston.

For the Bears, it starts for real on Sunday.

September 7, 2017

The picture above was my screen after I had won the Super Bowl in Madden. According to that game, the Bears will beat the Broncos 26-14 to win the Super Bowl. You heard it here first.

In the bottom left, you will see messages from certain TV sports’ personalities. The thing I find funny about this is that for the second year in a row, I won the Super Bowl with the Bears. Last year, there was a “congratulations” to Ted Phillips for winning his first Super Bowl as president of the Bears. In the picture above, Heath Evans said it was “well deserved” for Teddy.

I must say, the only thing he deserves is a firing from George. Sadly, it isn’t realistic.

On Sunday, it’s all for real. The Bears play the Falcons in the season opener at home. I don’t think the Bears will win. However, history has shown us that teams who lose the Super Bowl the previous year tend to really suck the following year. Maybe the Bears will catch them on that surface.

Here are some news/notes this week:

1. Free agent bust and village idiot, Lamarr Houston, was mercifully released from the Bears after three seasons of two ACL tears and other injuries. Let’s take a second and remember the sack he had on backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo with the Bears down 79 points to the Patriots. Now, let’s remember him doing that stupid dance and pose afterwards which lead to his first ACL tear.

2. This season is crucial for wide receiver and current bust, Kevin White. The Bears lost their only good wide receiver in Cameron Meredith to an ACL tear in the third preseason game. It’s up to this guy to try to create an NFL pass-offense for Mike Glennon.

3. Speaking of Glennon, it’s up to him to actually throw the ball to players with the same colored jersey as he has. One half of a preseason game isn’t enough to win me over, but we’re stuck with him. Hey, I don’t hate this guy contrary to what some of my posts have said about him. If someone comes by and says they want to give you $15 million to suck ass at football, don’t tell me you’re going to reject it. That’s what the Bears did and no other team was dumb enough. Glennon would have been stupid to say no to that. I want the Bears to go 19-0 and win a Super Bowl and if Glennon is the starter, so be it. I’ll be glad to eat my words. You would too. Mitchell Trubisky is ready to drive the car if/when Glennon shits himself.

4. Is Kyle Long ever going to play? The offensive line isn’t the same without him. He’s their best player. And Pernell McPhee is supposedly going to play on Sunday. We’ll see how that goes.

5. The defense will still let offenses run and pass the ball at will. I know the front seven is much better. But that doesn’t mean shit when the secondary can’t cover a receiver to save their lives. I like Quentin Demps and Prince Amukamara, but they’re older and slower than the average player for their positions. Ryan Pace needs to draft a bunch of safeties and cornerbacks next year.

Win or lose, there will be a recap after the game ends on this very website.

Until then, fire away.

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

August 27, 2017

The ACL-tear epidemic has continued. The only receiver that the Bears could actually count on this season was taken out on a horrible freak play. While making the catch, Meredith was tackled with his knee basically twisting/turning in the most scary of ways. FOX only showed the replay once before they decided to no longer show it again. It was that gruesome.

It sucked because the team played the entire game. Even Mike Glennon showed he could actually throw the ball to players wearing the same jersey as his. And the defense didn’t look like the shitty “I-Pass” defense.

The Bears aren’t alone. Julian Edelman of the Patriots tore his ACL the other day. The Bears are fucked on slot receivers. This makes the running game and tight ends even more important now. They are going to be counted on to pull the wagon.

This team is depleted with injuries already and the regular season hasn’t even started yet. Like other teams, it’s the next man up. Like other teams, injuries are no excuse. But damn. Meredith was going to be exciting to watch. This is an injury that has ended careers. I am praying for the guy.

What to look for this Sunday with the Bears

August 25, 2017

It’s Bears vs. Titans in Nashville this Sunday. Maybe our Tennessee correspondent, Pie In The Sky, will give us some insight on the atmosphere down there for this big PRESEASON match-up.

Mitch Trubisky – He’s been out-playing Mike Fucking Glennon so far in the preseason. I know. I know. It isn’t supposed to mean anything. But, he’s played well enough to get playing time with the starters in the 3rd quarter of this game. If Glennon takes another shit on the field and Trubisky shines again, I fully expect the idiot (John Fox) to go with Mitch as the starter when the season starts. Fox’s ass is on the line, so he should do what’s best for the team.

Mike Glennon – Fuck this whiny little bitch. I know it’s Ryan Pace’s fault for signing this guy when nobody else wanted him. But, this guy is getting $15 million to suck just like he did in Tampa Bay. He’s pissed off that Trubisky is playing better than him. Once again, it’s Pace’s fault for signing this guy and telling him he’s the starter. This guy needs to just shut his mouth and worry about knowing how to not throw interceptions.

Defense – It seems as if it’s the same problems with the defense every year: Good defensive line and shitty secondary. We’ve seen how shitty this secondary is so far this preseason. Sadly, it will probably be the reason why the Bears lose 13 games this season again. But damn, can’t they at least try? Like, you know, turn around while covering a receiver so they don’t look like complete idiots? I feel like I ask for that every year.

This will be the thread for the game as well as your thoughts on what was written (poorly) above.

Trubisky shines – Is it fool’s gold?

August 10, 2017

Broncos 24 Bears 17

Quarterback stats (Cue Yeti):

Mitchell Trubisky – 18/25, 166 yards, 1 TD, 103.1 Rating; 3 rushes for 38 yards

Mike Glennon (sucks): 2/8, 20 yards, 1 INT (returned for a touchdown)

Mark “Dirty” Sanchez: 1/4, 4 yards

Trubisky completed his first nine passes and all were right on the money. The accuracy was just insane on his attempts. On the scoring drives, he did a great job of eating up the clock while running the offense smoothly. If it weren’t for the I-Pass defense in the fourth quarter, they win this game. He nearly led them to a touchdown in the final seconds. Impressive.

We’ve seen this before, correct? I can just remember Caleb Hanie tearing it up in the preseason only to suck ass in the regular season.

While you were (or weren’t) watching the Bears, former Bear David Fales (!) threw a 99-yard touchdown pass for the Dolphins. While I liked Fales, this is proof that the preseason isn’t always what it’s built up to be.

Bears vs. Cardinals next Saturday night in the desert.

Hello, friend. (And the Bears start preseason Thursday)

August 8, 2017

I am sure the opinion is split. You love him or you hate him. But, he’s back.

I’ve said this numerous times over the last couple of years. It was just time for him to leave the Bears. Whether it was his fault or the team around him, it was just time to go. If that trade eight years ago were available again, I’d take it every time. Jerry Angelo didn’t make many great decisions, but that was one of them.

So, we shall see in this season whether or not he helps the Dolphins.

Meanwhile, back in Chicago, Mike Glennon sucks. And can someone please explain Mark Sanchez? If you can, please leave your theories in the thread.

Also, Ted Phillips has been with the Chicago Bears for 34 years. I don’t get that either.

Bears vs. Broncos Thursday in the preseason opener.

Another year in the books: Fire (Some Asshole(s) In Chicago Sports) turns 9!

August 1, 2017

(The man in the referee shirt – May 2017)

It doesn’t get old for me every year at this time. It was exactly nine years ago today that many of us ventured over to this dark corner of the internet. And trust me, the previous place was a pretty dark corner as well.

To think that we would actually get what we asked for at the start would be nothing more than a mere pipe dream. That was, to see the Cubs win the World Series.

If I forget any of your names, I am truly sorry. But to see a bunch of you long-time fans who had to witness the garbage of 1969 or 1984, I was most happy for you. You guys saw way more failure than I could ever imagine. Genre, Jimmy D., Ernie, MadCityMac, DVX and Chucky, you guys deserved it the most.

To the rest of you folks who actually find this place interesting (Dave, Pie, who else?), you guys are awesome too. For the ones who use to post that may come back, thanks for all of the fun times. I pray you all are doing better. For the others who may just read this site to either laugh with or at us, thanks as well. If you’re laughing at us though, feel free to chime in so Chucky can track you down and properly, saw off your nuts.

We’ve seen a lot happen over the nine years. I am very happy this place is still around with all of those other “blogs” going Hollywood or simply going away. This place costs little to nothing to run and I am fortunate that some of you have still stuck around.

Let’s keep the train moving!

Oh, look. Pernell McPhee is hurt again; Kyle Long still not practicing

July 30, 2017

I miss you dude.

Here we are again, ladies and gentleman. Training camp is here. If you are looking for bad football, injuries, coaches lying about injuries and everything in between, look no further than Bourbonnais, Illinois where the Chicago Bears are practicing!

Not even two days into it, the injuries are piling up. I know, I know. It’s all over the NFL and not just with the Bears. But damn, this is insane. Pernell McPhee is out for the foreseeable future with knee surgery. Backup running back Jeremy Langford sprained his ankle DURING A WALK-THROUGH. Good Lord, you can’t make this shit up. But you can say that for a lot of things the Bears do.

It’s even worse with offensive lineman Josh Sitton M.I.A. and Kyle Long still being out after surgery as well.

The “experts” have weighed in saying that the Bears have the best offensive lineman in the division. I beg to differ, especially when guys like Long and Sitton may not be 100% this year or ever. And even if they are all healthy and great, the Bears don’t have any quarterbacks or healthy wide receivers for them to throw to.

Meanwhile, who’s in the secondary? A bunch of faceless guys who’s names we don’t even know?

A week from Thursday is the first preseason game. It’s going to be a long season.