Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Matt Eberflus

………from the archives! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

chucky Says:
July 18, 2016 at 6:23 pm

Right here Ernie. All I can say is this:\

THANK FUCKING GAWD THAT FUCKING, GODDAMNED TOOTHPICK EATING ASSHAT IS FUCKING GONE FROM CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!!! I miss that motherfucking asswipe as much as much as I’d miss having VD. Dusty, you are a worthless bag of fuck, and you don’t deserve to be in a major league ball park unless you bought a fucking ticket. And I might even question that, you fucking shit sucking goddamn HACK!!!!!

How was that Ernie?

It’s late. The game was delayed about 45 minutes. The defense is just hard to watch. In fact, this entire team is tough to tolerate.

Mike Glennon: Fuck this guy. He’s been responsible for four turnovers and it’s only the end of the 3rd quarter. I’ve seen enough. I am sure all of you have as well.

Connor Barth: Can someone please explain how this idiot keeps his job? This guy could bang John Fox’s old lady and still be employed by this team. He needs to be given a swirly in a high school locker room for his putrid kicking. What a way to kill any momentum this team may have had.

Defense: TURN. AROUND. WHEN. THE. BALL. IS. THROWN. TO. A. WIDE. RECEIVER. Also, nice going by Danny Trevathan for that helmet hit when the receiver was already stopped. That lead to a touchdown rather than a field goal.

Bears vs. Vikings on Monday Night Football October 9th. Who smells 1-4?

Some dickhead (okay, it was me) edited both Mike Glennon and Connor Barth’s Wikipedia page. Call me mean.

Oh, Chicago Bears, I fucking hate you. All of you piss me off in some way, shape or form.

This game today was one of the worst ones I have ever seen the Bears play. And trust me, I know I can be overly dramatic. But I am serious. This was one of the most frustrating, fucked-up games I have ever seen the Bears play EVER. From turnovers, to penalties, to stupid mistakes, this game had it all.

Marcus Cooper: When the Bears finally did something awesome for a change by blocking a field goal attempt, If the Bears do not cut this guy by tomorrow, they truly do not care about winning. I don’t give a fuck if VIRGINIA FUCKING MCCASKEY has to go to Halas Hall to do this tomorrow to cut Marcus Fucking Cooper. He should be gone by Monday to make an example. What he did at the end of the first half of slowing down BEFORE getting to the end zone is one of the dumbest things I’ve seen. And that’s saying something seeing has how this team has been since I was a child.

This was so stupid, I even texted Genrebuster out of frustration because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. That’s how embarrassing this was. Oh, and to put some icing on the cake, he held a receiver in the end zone after the Bears had a stop on 3rd down. Well, that lead to the Steelers getting to within a field goal. FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

End of the first half: So, after this whole stupid fucking scenario, by rule, the Bears had one play at the spot of the penalty (inside the 1). Since I probably figured the Bears wouldn’t have scored that touchdown, a false start penalty did them in resulting in just a field goal.

Connor Barth: How is this fucking guy still in the NFL? Oh, I am sorry. The Bears allow him to still have a job. Nice miss on that easy field goal in the first half, fucker.

Mike Glennon: Speaking of how someone is still employed in football, Mike Glennon did his best to give the game away. He threw an interception and damn near threw another one at the end of regulation. It was unbelievable. This guy can’t throw an accurate pass nor move out of the pocket to save his life.

Jordan Howard/Tarik Cohen: I am not going to bash these two guys too much because they kicked ass on the ground in this game. The play-calling, due to Glennon’s inability to be reasonable quarterback, was very solid. The Bears basically played “Madden” all day and it paid dividends. But, like in Madden, you keep running the ball and fumbles will start. Jordan Howard fumbled on a run in the second half (it looked like his knee was down). That lead to the game-tying field goal. Then, at the end of regulation, Cohen got the first down but fumbled it right after getting hit. Thankfully, Bobbie Massie recovered it just in time.

Cohen was amazing in overtime on that run that got called back. He wasn’t out of bounds, but one of the referee called him out at the 37. Two plays later, Howard went right in and ran the ball down the field. I was delaying a celebration thinking there would be a flag (because it would have been appropriate for there to be one). Some shitty news as it appears Howard hurt his shoulder. Even after, he stayed in the game and got over 100 yards rushing. Wow.

1-2 and a Thursday Night showdown with the Packers. Also, Marcus Cooper sucks. I don’t think I mentioned that.

God help us all.

My Frendts, Ladies and Gentlemen: hats off to Mike Montgomery. Couldn’t have come at a better time. And how about Wade Davis?

(does anybody miss Aroldis Chapman? Not me, although I appreciate what he did with the Cubs last year).

Yes, tonite the “great” Cubs pitching – and bullpen (!) – showed up, and the crappy ones stayed home. The bats were almost non-existent, but they have been very heated of late….one run was enough.

Since being swept by the Brewers, the Cubs are 7-0. Hard to know which Cubs team is going to show up, but they have been playing really well since the All Star break. This 7 game winning streak couldn’t have come at a better time.

….Brewers-Cubs and Brewers-Cards may tell the tale.

Thoughts?

If the Bears somehow come back to win, fine. But, I’ve seen enough to decide that the Bears will lose. Here’s your recap.

Mike Glennon: 6/6 and then, throw a pass in triple-coverage with another tight end wide open? INTERCEPTION!

Defense: Forced a field goal and a punt. Great. The secondary still sucks.

Tarik Cohen: Dude, what the fuck? Don’t pick up a punt that’s bouncing. That lead to the touchdown.

Next up are the Steelers in Pittsburgh. 0-3, here we come.

Come on George. Do the right thing for this franchise and can these two guys along with John Fox. If you truly give a shit about the future of this team, you would make these sweeping changes.

Well, it’s a new season. But it’s the same shit. Today, we are reminded once again what a bad team looks like. Good teams find ways to win these kinds of games. Bad teams find ways to lose. Once again, the Bears displayed the latter.

Mike Glennon/play-calling: Fuck this guy and the idiot Oompa Loompa for an offensive coordinator. 1st and Goal at the 5 with 23 seconds left and it’s three straight passes? RUN. THE. FUCKING. BALL. At least on first down. That way, they still have one or two plays left to throw it. Instead, Josh Bellamy drops a pass. Then, Howard takes his eye off the ball at the last second for an incompletion. That is followed by a dropped/deflection to Zach Miller. 4th down and the offensive line can’t protect the fucking idiot playing quarterback. Glennon can’t run. He can’t move out of the pocket. Good quarterbacks are usually ones who have either great offensive lines like brick walls or they’re mobile. Glennon doesn’t have either of those options.

Secondary: Oh, lord, do these guys suck or what? Austin Hooper was wide open all the way down the field on the last touchdown by the Falcons. He went 88 yards for that and when the secondary did catch up to him, they couldn’t tackle them to save their lives. Hooper all by himself down the field gave me nightmares of Reggie Wayne in the Super Bowl against the Bears and Randall Cobb in 2013 in the last game of the season. It was absolutely stupid. Teams are laughing at the Bears now.

Tarik Cohen: He was the only bright spot in this game. 5 rushes for 66 yards on the ground. He had 8 catches for 47 yards and was a threat all day. It wasn’t his fault that the rest of his teammates sucked.

Akiem Hicks: This fucking guy plays well the entire game. Then, he decides to still try to tackle Matt Ryan with the ball well out of his hands. The result? Roughing the passer. Instead of getting the Falcons to punt, they end up getting another field goal out of it. I have no idea if this was the play that decided the game, but it made the Bears attempt to win the game with a touchdown rather than aiming for overtime. But, it wouldn’t have mattered because it would be so “Bear” to have Connor Barth miss a chip-shot field goal late.

Next up: The Bears head South to take on known rapist, Jameis Winston and the Buccaneers. Since the Bears clearly aren’t going to do a damn thing all year, the least they can do is beat the ever living shit out of Winston.

The picture above was my screen after I had won the Super Bowl in Madden. According to that game, the Bears will beat the Broncos 26-14 to win the Super Bowl. You heard it here first.

In the bottom left, you will see messages from certain TV sports’ personalities. The thing I find funny about this is that for the second year in a row, I won the Super Bowl with the Bears. Last year, there was a “congratulations” to Ted Phillips for winning his first Super Bowl as president of the Bears. In the picture above, Heath Evans said it was “well deserved” for Teddy.

I must say, the only thing he deserves is a firing from George. Sadly, it isn’t realistic.

On Sunday, it’s all for real. The Bears play the Falcons in the season opener at home. I don’t think the Bears will win. However, history has shown us that teams who lose the Super Bowl the previous year tend to really suck the following year. Maybe the Bears will catch them on that surface.

Here are some news/notes this week:

1. Free agent bust and village idiot, Lamarr Houston, was mercifully released from the Bears after three seasons of two ACL tears and other injuries. Let’s take a second and remember the sack he had on backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo with the Bears down 79 points to the Patriots. Now, let’s remember him doing that stupid dance and pose afterwards which lead to his first ACL tear.

2. This season is crucial for wide receiver and current bust, Kevin White. The Bears lost their only good wide receiver in Cameron Meredith to an ACL tear in the third preseason game. It’s up to this guy to try to create an NFL pass-offense for Mike Glennon.

3. Speaking of Glennon, it’s up to him to actually throw the ball to players with the same colored jersey as he has. One half of a preseason game isn’t enough to win me over, but we’re stuck with him. Hey, I don’t hate this guy contrary to what some of my posts have said about him. If someone comes by and says they want to give you $15 million to suck ass at football, don’t tell me you’re going to reject it. That’s what the Bears did and no other team was dumb enough. Glennon would have been stupid to say no to that. I want the Bears to go 19-0 and win a Super Bowl and if Glennon is the starter, so be it. I’ll be glad to eat my words. You would too. Mitchell Trubisky is ready to drive the car if/when Glennon shits himself.

4. Is Kyle Long ever going to play? The offensive line isn’t the same without him. He’s their best player. And Pernell McPhee is supposedly going to play on Sunday. We’ll see how that goes.

5. The defense will still let offenses run and pass the ball at will. I know the front seven is much better. But that doesn’t mean shit when the secondary can’t cover a receiver to save their lives. I like Quentin Demps and Prince Amukamara, but they’re older and slower than the average player for their positions. Ryan Pace needs to draft a bunch of safeties and cornerbacks next year.

Win or lose, there will be a recap after the game ends on this very website.

Until then, fire away.

The Cubs are playing much better since the all-star break.

Thoughts?