Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Matt Eberflus

Why do teams keep wanting me? I suck at football.

I fucking hate you, Ryan Pace. I really do. I cannot fucking stand you. Since the minute you arrived at Halas Hall, it’s been a complete tire fire. Not like it was one before it. But, you’ve sure put gasoline all over it.

You stupid fuck. I know nothing about running a professional football team. But everyone and their mother knows that Mark Sanchez sucks ass at football. Everyone and their mother knows that Mike Glennon sucks ass at football. You know who may not suck, but won’t know until they play? DeShaun Watson. Do you want another name? DeShone Kizer. I am not saying those two are the answer. But, I know this: The future isn’t Glennon nor Dirty Sanchez.

Ryan, you are the absolute worst. You’re making people wish Jerry Angelo was back in the saddle. At least he tried to fix the quarterback position by trading for Cutler or drafting guys like Grossman and Orton. You hear that? JERRY FUCKING ANGELO ACTUALLY TRIED TO FIX THE QUARTERBACK PROBLEM. YOU’RE BURYING IT EVEN FURTHER INTO THE GROUND YOU COCKSUCKING ASSHOLE.

And while I am at it, fuck you George McCaskey for letting this asshole ruin your franchise even more. I hope you realize it when Soldier Field is half-full after the first home game of the season. You let this happen. And quit complaining about your mom being “pissed off”. Maybe if you hired a general manager who would, I don’t know, actually be aware of how to run a football team, this wouldn’t be a problem.

I am not going to sit here and say the Bears should have kept Cutler. But, until they find someone BETTER, he shouldn’t have been released. Mike Glennon nor Mark Sanchez are better. This will be the first season I don’t go to any games in nine years. Until this team makes changes, I will stay out of Soldier Field.

Fuck you, Ryan Pace. Go eat shit.

Over the weekend, I was watching a lot of the NCAA Tournament games and noticed Greg Gumbel once again, being in the studio. I’ve watched this guy since I can even remember. He’s awesome at his job. I think he’s much more likable than his brother, the insane Bryant. He’s a Chicago native as well.

As I was watching some of the games on Friday, I was asking telling myself: “How old is this dude? He looks the exact same since I was a kid.”

The guy is 70 and looks a minimum of 20 years younger. I don’t know if it’s plastic surgery (a lot of people in TV do this), a ton of make-up or if this dude is just a genetic freak. Regardless, I want to look like if I am 70. It’s just insane.

Gumbel is the man, though. Seeing him on TV makes me appreciate sportscasters who aren’t arrogant shit stains. It’s nostalgic to see him on there. Not many from my childhood are still around and it appears the newer ones are terrible.

We should appreciate people like Greg Gumbel in sports. Folks like him, Mike Emrick and Marv Albert (yeah, he bit a hooker’s ass, but he’s not a shithead like his son) don’t grow on trees. He’s great at his job whether it’s college basketball or calling NFL games. It’s sad we don’t have more great sportscasters than some of the ones I’ve mentioned.

Cheers, Greg. Looking good, my frendt.

March Madness – Who do you have?

Last year, I picked Villanova and was actually right for a change. This year, my Final Four consists of Florida, Kansas, Notre Dame and Kentucky. Kansas beats Notre Dame 75-70.

After hearing that Brian Hoyer was going to San Francisco to continue his shitty NFL career, Bears General Manager Ryan Pace decided he wanted an even shittier quarterback on the team to start. Now, Mike Glennon is all but signed to the Bears and for a ridiculous amount of money.

Third overall pick? Nope. That’s apparently not enough motivation to draft a quarterback who could possibly be the starter for the next 10-15 years. Don’t even think about it, Bears nation. Why? Because this organization doesn’t believe that teams get built through the draft. It’s spend money on free agents who are either young and shitty or old and shitty. And they are dishing out the money like nothing. Well, I guess that’s what happens when they continue to raise ticket prices. It’s more money for these overpaid pieces of shit.

No, I am not overreacting. I feel the Bears should get either DeShaun Watson or DeShone Kizer to be the starter. Will they be awesome? I have no idea. But, anyone is better than Mike Glennon or even the departed (and shitty) Brian Hoyer. Getting Watson or Kizer would cost the Bears a tenth of what Glennon would and have way more potential.

The Bears will have high draft picks for the next two years and here they are, throwing money away on free agents when they could be drafting franchise players. What happens if those players turn out to be pretty fucking good? Oops. All that money that would be needed to re-sign these good players was wasted on shitty free agents the year(s) before.

Mike Glennon fucking sucks. He couldn’t do shit in Tampa Bay and now, Ryan Pace thinks he can start? The Bears are better off going back to Cutler and Connor Shaw for another year if they aren’t going to draft a quarterback.

With this move, it doesn’t appear the Bears are going to draft a quarterback.

This is the most embarrassing franchise in the NFL. And need I remind you, the 49ers just signed Brian Fucking Hoyer. You would think they have that title of most embarrassing. Nope. The Bears hold that title and they hold it proudly.

The circus of suck continues at Halas Hall. Ryan Pace has no idea what the fuck he is doing.

This article is going to be a bit off-topic from what we usually talk about on here. Before anything else, I will say that I have been wanting to rant about this for quite a while. I figured while things are slow, I’d finally get to it.

Many of you have noticed over the last couple of years that almost every damn website has changed drastically in regards to format/design/layout. It’s become annoying and truly awful. Even my own damn phone updated it’s software and damn, it sucks.

Maybe I am a creature of habit, but with all of these changes, my computer has slowed down big time. I’ve had to turn off the Flash Player just so I can get a website to run promptly. And that’s also with a brand new laptop too.

I know I started to see these changes two or three years ago and now, it’s become even worse. It’s almost as if companies actually think these changes are making their websites better. In reality, it’s making it even shittier. I’ve seen it with websites such as ESPN, NHL and NFL. Last year, it really pissed me off with how the NHL changed their website drastically. It was just fine before and now, it lags constantly.

The other day, my phone upgraded it’s software. It’s the same fucking shit with just sending a text message now.

Then, there is this website that you are reading this article on right now. Take a good look at it. For eight years, this has remained the exact same. The same layout, colors, whatever else. It’s there. When I log in to make a post like this or comment, the administration page has changed big time too. Posting articles and uploading pictures has become a clusterfuck. It’s absolutely fucking ridiculous. Fuck you, WordPress. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.

I don’t know if any of you feel the same way about all of these websites changing, but I am pretty damn happy that I don’t want nor need to change anything up. Sure, it’s sucks some of the regulars over the years have left. But I know a lot of you still read this place and probably appreciate that nothing has changed about this place. It doesn’t slow down my computer. It probably doesn’t for you guys, either. It’s one of the few places on the internet that I love coming to. And as always, it’s all gratitude from me to all of you for reading.