Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Matt Eberflus

It’s been quite a while since I wrote about fake wrestling and I was going to write about something else storyline-related in the next week or two. But while watching the pay-per-view Sunday and as I am typing, RAW, I couldn’t help but notice a man sitting in the front row (both nights) with the infamous “We hate Cena” t-shirt.

Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with this fan. However, he has been spotted in many cities in the last few years sitting front row (every time) while wearing the same “We Hate Cena” shirt. There are two reasons why this guy continues to sit in the same area every damn time: He is either getting paid by WWE to sit there (I doubt it though) or simply, he has a lot of money and no life. I’ll take the latter.

I am not trying to sound pissed off, but I am rather very annoyed with this attention-whore/weird fuck. Forget the question of how he affords to go to all these cities and continuing to sit front row, but does this guy have a job? He obviously doesn’t have a girlfriend or wife. The fact that he continues to wear the same shirt to every event tells me he is taking this shit way too seriously.

Sure, it’s fun to sit front row and get on TV. I even sat on the TV side and was shown on quite a few times in years past (Larry Horse sign anyone?). I go to maybe two or three events a year and if I do get shown on TV one of those times, even the people who I know probably won’t recognize me. I don’t drive/fly city-to-city and dish out thousands of dollars each month to sit front row to show hate for a guy who is acting on a TV show.

To the turd in the “We Hate Cena” shirt, it’s wrestling. It’s a TV show that’s scripted (It’s still real to me damnit). We get that you hate Cena. A lot of fans do. But the fact that you take this shit seriously by trying to make a “statement” that you hate Cena is probably getting on the other anti-Cena people’s nerves. For myself, I respect Cena as a person and wrestler because of how hard he worked to get to the top. I am probably annoyed as most fans that he continues to hog the main event. But the guy is one of the biggest cash cows for Vince McMahon’s company since the days of Steve Austin and before that, Hulk Hogan. He isn’t going anywhere. So stop making an idiot of yourself. And while you are working on that, go fill out some applications for a job in whatever town/state you reside in. That is, if you even have an education.

What a turd.

When the Bears were up 21-5, I was thinking of having the headline “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it”. I forgot that in most cases, the Bears usually find a way to blow it. Without a doubt, this was horrible to watch during the second half. The Bears should have won this game by four touchdowns the way the defense played early on.

Offense: As I said earlier, my headline was suppose to be something else. That was because the Bears actually ran the football very well in the first half. Then, the second half came and we saw plays that made us wonder if the ghosts of past offensive coordinators that the Bears have had were taking over Mike Martz’s brain. It turns out that Martz is actually stupid and called a bunch of passing plays when they should have just continued to run the ball. Cutler kicked ass in the first half but sucked ass in the second. It’s not completely his fault but his last interception was terrible. Regardless, he was spot on early in the game with the wide receivers.

Back to Martz being a dumbass, the Bears had a first and goal late to try to put the game away once and for all. Instead of just running the ball the first time around, Cutler throws three straight passes with one of them nearly getting intercepted. Instead of fourth down, Aqib Talib of the Buccaneers plays the role of another, stupid cornerback that is on the Bears by committing a personal foul penalty that gives the Bears another first and goal. Then, stupidity rises but in a reverse role. Three straight runs (even on third down) forces the Bears to kick the field goal and give the Buccaneers a chance to win the game.

I think the offensive line had another great game. Each of them had great blocks throughout. The one who stuck out the most in my opinion was J’Marcus Webb. There were a couple plays in which Matt Forte had big gains on and Webb did a great job creating the gaps. The wide receivers were surprisingly good. Roy Williams dropped an easy pass early on but ended up being the best receiver today.

Matt Forte was outstanding once again. To tell you how good this guy is, if Martz wasn’t such a stupid fuck, he had an outside chance of rushing for 200 yards for the second time this season. I am certain he had at least 115 of them in the first half alone. Now on to another stupid fuck, Jerry Angelo. PAY THIS MAN!

Defense: Like the offense, the defense was kicking ass in the first half. I actually thought this defense was going to turn the corner as far the season is concerned. Instead, they went in reverse when the fourth quarter arrived. The first thing that pissed me off was the Lance Briggs interception that was taken all the way to the one yard line that would have given the Bears a chance to be up by three touchdowns. What happens? Tim Jennings (Fuck you) committed the most pointless penalty in football by having an illegal block in the back and it fucked up the whole thing. Then Brian Urlacher gets an interception in the red zone only to nearly give it right back by fumbling it. Luckily, his knee was down an eye-blink before the ball came back.

During the first three quarters of the game, I was thinking to myself “Charles Tillman (Worthless) has been playing pretty decent.” Stupid me again. After Cutler’s second interception, Josh Freeman throws an easy touchdown pass to get the Buccaneers within a field goal. Why? Because Tillman (Worthless) all of a sudden stopped covering Dezmon Briscoe who was all alone for that score. It doesn’t help either that Chris Harris was trying to be dumber than Tillman (Worthless) by being far away from Briscoe on that touchdown. I think it’s time to bench Chris Harris again. This shit needs to stop.

On the good side of the defense, I think Chris Conti played a pretty good game. He came up with a big interception in the first quarter at the goal line. Then later in the game, he stopped the Buccaneers from converting the two-point conversion. He deserves to start another week. Also, D.J. Moore saved the day for the entire team by intercepting Freeman in the final minute. For some odd reason, I was worried that the way the day was going for the Bears, that Cutler would fumble the snap and give Tampa Bay yet, another chance to win the game.

Special teams: Not much here to discuss. Hester didn’t have much of a chance to take a return back. Moron play-by-play announcer Kenny Albert mentioned before Robbie Gould’s first field goal attempt that he would be the most accurate kicker in the NFL if he made it. He was then way off on the attempt. Make of that what you will.

The Bears have a bye-week coming up. Thank God too. I need a week off from these assholes. This win was important because the teams that the Bears needed to lose in terms of the last wild card spot, lost too. After the bye, they go on the road to take on the Eagles on Monday Night Football.

It’s been a few days since I have been here and I have a few things to say regarding the state of the Bears:

1. Cutler/Martz conflict: I did not notice (I might have looked away for a second) when Cutler’s remarks were heard on the microphone. All I can say is about damn time we heard that. I am sure it has been said before but I am glad all of us were able to hear it. If you want to see the video, it’s on Deadspin and YouTube.

2. Lance Briggs: I think Lance Briggs has become the biggest fucking whiner on this team. He bitched the year after the Super Bowl in 2007 when he was given the franchise tag. So Angelo gives him a hefty-contract (Rightfully so) at that time. Then what does this asshole do? He wants a new contract when his current one isn’t up yet with more money.

This is what Briggs said on Comcast SportsNet Tuesday: “It’s a league about what have you done for me lately. And for [players], it’s about getting what you can while you can.”

This asshole has no room to say that shit. He has been horrible so far this season (It’s only been six fucking games too). There have been at least four instances in which a tight end that he was suppose to cover and it resulted in him wandering around like a typical Bears cornerback and leaving a tight end wide open for a touchdown. What a fucking hack. The only player that deserves to get paid right now is Matt Forte. No doubt about it as I have mentioned several times that he is the best player on this horrible team.

3. Dishonesty: Another topic I am bitching about are the coaches and their compulsive lying problems they continue to have. First off is Mike Martz laughing during an interview Wednesday after Cutler finished his press conference talking mainly about his issues with him. He said seconds later that him and Cutler have no problems whatsoever and that everything will be fine.

Next up is something that has been bothering me for years regarding Lovie Smith and his way of handling the truth. In a game against the Eagles in 2007, Brian Griese pulled a John Elway and drove the Bears 95+ yards in a span of two minutes leading them to a game-winning touchdown. Griese said in a press conference after the game that the radio in his helmet went out and he was forced to call all the plays (Go figure. Calling plays without the offensive coordinator is a success.) The very next day, Griese took the podium in another press conference to say he did not call all of the plays, but rather, he ran (or someone else) to the sideline to get some of the plays during that final drive.

Why does Lovie Smith let this shit happen? Why does he condemns this and? Let me remind you, this is the same turd who, week after week, tells the whole world that the Bears are a good football team. Then on Wednesday, he said the players aren’t distracted by contracts. I think someone needs to put the video of Lance Briggs’ interview from Tuesday in his office.

Everything that I have just mentioned is insulting to Bears’ fans and to the players on that team. Lovie Smith has worn out his tenure as head football coach of the Chicago Bears. I am sure a lot of us “pissed off” fans would respect him a lot more if he just told the truth for a change instead of lying his ass off any chance he gets. If Martz and Cutler can’t get along, Martz should just admit it. Cutler admitted there were issues and Martz denied them. I think I believe Cutler in this case. I am sick and tired of the garbage that this franchise continues to shove in our faces.

4. The fucking headset issues/timeouts: For crying out loud, GET THE DAMN RADIO CALLS IN THE HEADSET WORKING OR DON’T USE THEM. If they don’t work, let Cutler call the plays. God knows how much better this offense would be if someone else made the calls. And what the hell is going on with all of the timeouts? In the Monday Night Massacre against the Lions, the genius Lovie Smith made sure that all of his timeouts during the first half were all used on one drive that resulted in zero points IN THE FIRST FUCKING QUARTER. What happened as soon as the Lions took the ball over on downs? Matthew Stafford took out his I-Pass and used it on the Bears’ terrible secondary by throwing for an easy touchdown to Calvin Johnson. This also points back to the headset issues in which Cutler is forced to call timeouts.

All I have to say is if the shit doesn’t work, do something different. I think though in the Bears’ case, if something doesn’t work, just keep doing it no matter how many times it fails. However, this method of continuing to do the same thing has been failing well before Lovie Smith arrived in Chicago. To quote the late and great Owen Hart: Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.

There is no reason for me to get excited about the Bears kicking the shit out of a horrible Vikings team Sunday night. It was something they were suppose to do and they exceeded mine as well as most fans’ expectations winning by 29 points. Where were these assholes the last four games?

Offense: Let’s start at the line. Not having Frank OmiGod play does wonders for an already horrendous line. For this game, they played outstanding. This was the first game all year that the line played well with Chris Williams in particular. Cutler was only sacked once in this game. Myself with I am sure, a bunch of other fans were bitching about where in the world was Chris Spencer. The dumbass, Jerry Angelo signed this guy for a few million bucks and he wasn’t seen at all the last week or two. He played just fine as well. I think until Gabe Carimi comes back at tackle that Lance Louis should stay in that position. The offensive line coach, Mike Tice, should be given a lot of credit for this victory.

Jay Cutler was on the money tonight. He threw a bomb to Devin Hester in which he actually held on to the damn ball for a touchdown. He also threw a dart right to Dane Sanzenacher (He actually held on to the ball too) for a touchdown. This is how good Cutler can be if he has more than two seconds to throw the damn ball. The offense was clicking on all cylinders. Matt Forte kicked some ass with over 100 all-purpose yards. I cannot understand why Jerry Angelo still hasn’t signed this guy yet. He is the best player on this team. I’ve said this before: Don’t just pay the man. Give him a blank check and let him fill in the numbers.

Defense: I have to admit: I thought Adrian Peterson had his I-Pass in his back pocket for this game. Instead, the entire Vikings offense with the exception of that touchdown drive in the third quarter, was AWOL. The Bears defense held Peterson to 12 rushes for 39 yards. I am glad that Peppers played. He kicked ass with two sacks as well as forcing pressure all night on McNabb and later, Ponder. Along with Peppers, the rest of the front four kicked ass and also caused McNabb to be sacked for a safety in the first quarter. And it’s about damn time that Lovie Smith actually did something by benching idiots like Chris Harris and Brandon Merriweather. Major Wright Wrong played alright and Chris Conti didn’t do too bad either. I don’t see a reason why they shouldn’t start next week either. There is nothing to lose. Now if only Tim Jennings (Fuck you) and Charles Tillman (Worthless) can be benched next week, I’d be pretty happy.

Special teams: Devin Hester. Enough said.

Next up are the Buccaneers in London. The Bears without a doubt, need a repeat performance but this time, it will be against a much better team.

This is going to be short because I have to get up early for a long day of work. I am sick and tired of all of this shit. On Monday night against the Lions, the Bears showed what kind of team they are and it is no surprise to me. I am so damn pissed right now, I don’t know what all to say. The blame is to be put on Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith.

During this game, we saw 51 false starts by this PATHETIC offensive line. Kellen Davis chipped in with about 15 of his own. We also saw wonderful coverage by Charles Tillman (Worthless) and Tim Jennings (Fuck you). By the way, when the best wide receiver in football is going down field, it would be real helpful if SOMEBODY would cover him. That didn’t happen.

Jay Cutler was once again running for his life. It didn’t help that Frank Omiyale was letting everyone go past him. IS THERE NOT SOMEBODY BETTER THAN THIS FAT FUCK OUT THERE THAT CAN PLAY? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THIS GUY IS TERRIBLE.

I would also like to thank Lovie Smith for his great coaching. He was down one challenge and out of timeouts by the end of the first. Also, with 3rd and 1, then 4th and 1, the Bears couldn’t get one damn yard. I’ve been bitching for years that the easiest thing to do is to just do a quarterback sneak but I forgot that we have a dumbass for a head coach.

I don’t see the Bears getting better anytime soon. In fact, it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

The Bears are about to give me a damn heart attack. Other than special teams on Sunday, I didn’t feel good about anything the Bears did and I was there on the 35 yard line witnessing the clusterfuck that is the defense. This season so far has been nothing short of Genre’s favorite word, PATHETIC. I have a bunch to talk about so let’s get this going:

Offense: The offense didn’t play as bad as the stats (Cue Irish Yeti) say they did. I believe Cutler only had one pass in the first half. That’s fine with me. I am a fan of running the football all damn day. In reality, a balanced offense is what is needed. Matt Forte was the first Bear to rush for over 200 yards since the man they call “Sweetness” did it in 1977. Will the dumbass Jerry Angelo pay this man already? Just give him a check and let him fill in the numbers. He IS the Bears’ offense. The offensive line played decent but damnit, Frank Omiyale is terrible. He was getting beat quite a bit during the game. Something is wrong with Cutler too. He seems to be scared shitless everytime he drops back. I hate to say this but it’s all in the head for this guy now. He has no confidence in his line and he shouldn’t either. They are still terrible. And Dane Sanzenbacher being the only target for Cutler? He dropped an easy pass for a first down. Roy Williams also met his quota of getting only one catch per game he plays. How awful. As I was driving home, a bunch of idiots were calling the Score and complaining about Cutler’s body language on the field. Maybe if this guy had an actual offensive line along with real receivers, this guy wouldn’t be so fucked up in the head. I blame this all on Angelo but that’s a discussion for another day.

Defense: Here I go with the ranting: With the exception of D.J. Moore’s lucky interception for a touchdown in the first quarter, the defense was useless. They gave up almost 550 yards of total offense. Cam Newton had his I-Pass and it became painful to watch. Assholes like Major Wright Wrong and Chris Steltz are terrible excuses for a safety. They couldn’t cover anybody all day. Tim Jennings, who has replaced Charles Tillman (Worthless) in the “(Fuck you)” department, was terrible. When a team is averaging 20 yards a play, there is a pretty good chance you will lose. Only on Sunday, was a rare instance where that didn’t happen. Steve fucking Smith averaged 22 yards PER CATCH. THAT IS FUCKING HORRIBLE. Note to all the cornerbacks and receivers: PICK A RECEIVER AND STAY ON HIM YOU DIPSHITS. QUIT WANDERING AROUND THE DAMN FIELD LOOKING AT THE QUARTERBACK. And the last thing I will say is Lance Briggs has been nothing short of horrendous. He is also very bad when he drops back into coverage. Instead of trying to defend the tight end/receiver he is suppose to cover, he stands there staring at the quarterback.

Special teams: Thank God for the special teams. Devin Hester took a punt back for a touchdown. He broke Eric Metcalf’s record for most punt returns for a touchdown. He nearly took one back earlier in the game as well on a kickoff. With the score 24-20, Julius Peppers blocked an easy field goal by Olindo Mare. In the 4th quarter, Mare barely missed a 52 yard field goal that would have given the Panthers the lead. Phew.

Here are the Bears sitting at 2-2. Next Monday night, the Detroit Lions are going to show the Chicago Bears what wide receivers look like. Pray for a miracle.