Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Matt Eberflus

Wow. This was one of the very few games where ThomASS wasn’t responsible for a loss. Hinrich hits two straight three’s. Bulls are up six with less than a minute to go. The Cavaliers get a basket. It’s 96-93 with 46 seconds to go. I repeat: The Bulls are up 96-93 with 46 seconds to go. What is the best possible strategy? If you guessed playing the clock and not rushing a shot, you would be correct.

That is, however, if you are a dumbass by the name of Taj Gibson. He usually takes jump shots and usually, he misses. After I spent all game talking to my friend about how much Noah and Gasol suck with their own jump shots (Gasol missed 11 or 12 of them in this game), I was really wishing that I wouldn’t have anything else to bitch about. But here it is. With only about ten seconds off the shot clock, this hack decides to take a 15-footer and promptly missed it. Then, Kyrie Irving drives right down, gets a favorable foul call, which results in a three-point play. The game is tied. Overtime arrives and as expected, the Bulls lose.

Well, the Bears suck. The Blackhawks have been getting some bad breaks recently but I think they will turn it around. What’s left? Those Bulls. Yes, those same Bulls who have been irrelevant since 1998. Another season has arrived and from what I understand, Joakim Noah’s knees are already a problem along with his two bad feet. Rose’s two bad knees are apparently, healed. Over/under before ThomASS makes sure he gets hurt? I predict the 19th game of the season when the Bulls are up 35 with three minutes left. ThomASS still has his starters in the game and all are near or above 40 minutes. Rose jogs down the court and pulls/tears something. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

YESSIR. Thank You.

jimmy d. Says:
October 24, 2014 at 9:06 pm

HOLY SHIT!!! Joe Maddon is available. This could be the actual step needed to propel our beloved Cubs to the pinnacle of World Series Champions! Get him signed…at any cost! OMG, there’s still hope that I could see a World Series Championship before I’m put into the ground!!! DO IT NOW!!!

*Note: I am writing the recap for Sunday’s game against the Patriots now so I don’t have to waste my time after it concludes. Let’s see how right (or wrong) I am.

Well, it just wasn’t enough today. The Bears started off well. Cutler was money the entire first quarter and alright in the second. Then, the wheels fell off on both sides. Tom Brady was out of rhythm and when the second half started, he turned back into Tom Brady. The defense couldn’t stop anybody. The Bears are now in last place and with the Packers playing tonight, they could be four games out of first place halfway through the season.

Offense: It seems like Forte is the only one giving a damn on offense. It finally looked like Trestman understood that running the ball is what this team needs. Even Lovie fucking Smith knew that he had to start running the ball when Martz was in charge. Instead, Trestman does it just for a bit and then, all of a sudden, it stops. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Every fucking year, we all think the Bears finally have it and just for it to all go to shit is what pisses me off the most. According the “experts”, the Bears have one of the most talented teams in the NFL. And it’s true. The problem is coaching. Cutler and the rest just aren’t being put in the best position to succeed. It’s 2nd and 5 in the red zone and Trestman calls a pass? Cutler throws it right to Alfonzo Denard with Marshall clearly covered. To make matters worse, the Bears are only down four late only for Cutler to throw the exact same pass in the same exact part of the field for his second interception. STOP THROWING IN DOUBLE-COVERAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD. FUCK!!!

Defense: Fine, it’s Tom Brady. Not many teams can stop him. But the fact of the matter is, the Bears couldn’t even stop E.J. fucking Manuel of the Bills (who’s now benched because God replaced him). But come on. At least try out there. Kyle Fuller is out there playing with a broken hand but Tim Jennings has been fucking terrible this year. He was burnt all last week by the Dolphins and today, Julian Edelman and Brandon LaFell made him their bitch. How fucking hard is it to for these assholes to stay on their receivers? Oh, and fuck Shea McClellin. I tried sticking up for this turd way too much. He couldn’t keep with Gronkowski and had terrible angles while trying to stop the run. The only ones who actually seem to give a fuck on defense are Ratliff, Young and Fuller. Everyone else, so not much. And that fucking sucks.

Special teams: Finally, someone on the Bears, Santonio Holmes, had a good return on one of punts. Sadly, it was called back by the 783rd illegal block in the back penalty by the Bears in the last five years. Congratulations special teams. You are the worst.

Next up: Thankfully, the Bears have a bye week. And by that, I mean they are waving bye to the 2014-2015 season. The icing on the cake will be in two weeks against the Packers at Lambeau on Sunday Night Football.

Fire Marc Trestman.

These recaps being written before games even end are becoming routine for me. I had the chance to go to this game today but realized that even though most think I’m stupid, I am not this stupid and decided against it. The Bears have lost again and now, are three games out of first place. The Dolphins came into Soldier Field and knocked around the Bears.

Offense: Is anybody else sick of that play where as soon as the ball is snapped, the quarterback throws right to the side (bubble screen, immediate pass to a reciever)? That play never fucking works. I was saying that shit when Jauron was coaching and likewise for Lovie. Why the fuck is it when a new coach or coordinator comes in, the SAME FUCKING PLAYS are being called? When a team gets a new staff, they should do something different. Maybe we need Albert to talk to the Bears about the definition of insanity. Flush the toilet on this shit.

Dickface threw an interception and fumbled the ball after being hit from behind. Dante Rosario also thought it would be awesome to hold the ball out for it to be fumbled and recovered by the Dolphins.

Defense: Sucks. Sucks. Sucks.

Special Teams: Sucks.

Next up: The Patriots on the road. This should be fun. Tom Brady is jumping around like a seven year-old in a toy store waiting for this one.

Your thoughts on the Bears this Sunday and anything else.

Credit to reader, CS, for the link in the previous post.

According the report that CS posted, ThomASS is already getting started on the demise of the 2014-2015 Chicago Bulls. I think we all saw this coming but in the preseason? I feel like a broken record because I write the same shit every basketball season that ThomASS has been the head coach of this team.

Apparently, he’s mad at the players and say they have a lot of work to do. Then, to the insult of everyone’s intelligence (I don’t have much of this but others do), he compares to the Bulls to, the Spurs? Is this a fucking joke? No team should compare themselves to the Spurs, much less, the Bulls. Supposedly, Parker and Duncan played a lot of minutes in one preseason game. Maybe Popovich down there did it to see how they are. But the difference between him and the PATHETIC excuse for a head coach that the Bulls have, that shit won’t happen in the regular season often. There will be a game where Tim Duncan plays 35 or 40 minutes. He may do it a second game in a row. But, he will likely play much less the next game or not at all. Likewise for Parker.

I wrote about this shit after the Spurs won, yet, another title after. Even an idiot like myself knows that this is what needs to be done in order to give the team the best chance to win. Sometimes, Popovich is alright with playing just the bench for one game in the regular season just for the starters to get some rest.

As I look at the Bulls this season, they may be “deeper” with their bench, but they aren’t going to play. That’s why they will continue to lose in the first or second round of the playoffs. The same problems are there. The coach is a fucking idiot, Rose has two bad knees, Noah has two bad feet and now, a bad knee too. Gasol is on his last legs and players like Tony Snell and Cameron Bairstow will be lucky to even dress this season. If an actual head coach is in charge, all 12 players dressed will be contribute in some way, shape or form. With the Bulls, however, only two or three bench players will play.

And if the preseason is any indication, free throws will be what DOOMS the Bulls again this season. Check the stats (cue Yeti) for yourself.

Prediction: Second/Third place in the conference and an exit in the first or second round of the playoffs by the Wizards, Heat or Raptors.

Well, it wasn’t dominating (it never is), but the Bears pulled this one out. As usual, it should have been by more but as fans, we’ll take wins any way they can get them. For the last year or two, some of us were always thinking why the Bears can’t play a game where they show up and play well from start to finish. We should expect this but we know it won’t happen because, let’s face it, it’s the Bears. Like I said though, there is a long way to go but they won today.

Offense: First, we have to look at what Trestman did at the end of the half. For the second or third time this season, he was shitty with clock management. The Bears lost about 20 seconds or so while driving and only picked up a field goal out of it because time was running out. That really has to stop. However, the play selection the entire game was solid. Finally, they ran the ball like I have been bitching about all year. How fucking hard is it to do what Trestman did today with the play-calling? Forte and Carey were lights out carrying and receiving for Forte. There is nothing wrong with passing more than running in games, but when the right kind of plays aren’t called in certain situations, that’s what pisses me off. I like the even balance of pass/run but today works well too.

Because of these plays that were called, Dickface didn’t turn the ball over and everybody contributed in big ways. When the Bears run the ball and run it efficiently, this opens up the pass game and allows the Bears to use their threats properly. Thus, Brandon Marshall, Alshon Jeffery and Martellus Bennett. There were some third downs in which Cutler was able to find any of those three receivers to get first downs. Yes, they could have scored another touchdown or two but overall, it was solid. Had this happened in two other games this season, the Bears are 5-1.

Defense: No Lance Briggs? No problem. Also, Chris Conte continued his streak of getting hurt in every game. I think he should just retire. I thought the linebackers played well. Backups Daryl Sharpton and Khaseem Greene played very well. And another backup who they found on the street, Demontre Hurst, had an interception late in the game. The front four finally played like it was expected before the season started. Matt Ryan was sacked four times. The line of Allen, Paea, Young, Ratliff and Houston all contributed by getting pressure on Ryan the entire game. And speaking of Willie Young, there isn’t much to be happy about still, but Young is earning his money and has been the Bears most consistent player on defense.

Special Teams: Our old friend Devin Hester returned but didn’t do much, so that’s encouraging. I was driving home when the Bears scored the go-ahead touchdown and heard that Robbie Gould’s extra point was blocked. So the overpaid and overrated kicker now gets an extra point blocked? Kick it high and kick it far, Robbie. Or else, you won’t get that next contract so you can feed your family. I know, I keep bringing that up. But hey, he said it. Not me. If he actually makes those field goals when they count, then, I wouldn’t be spending my time doing this.

If someone can answer this question about the special teams, feel free. But why do the Bears get so many damn penalties of holding and illegal blocks in the back? Does someone have a stat (cue Yeti) on who leads the league in penalties on special teams? I would think the Bears are in the top part of that category.

Next up: The Bears are still in the hole. The Lions disposed of the Vikings and Aaron Rodgers decided to fuck around with the Dolphins before saying enough is enough. The Bears are two games out of first (Packers are one game ahead plus the tiebreaker) with those same Dolphins coming up at home. I think that would be a nice time for the Bears to get their first home win of the season.