This Just In: Shitty football player skips OTA.

June 2, 2023 by

So a guy who is always hurt and sucks when he is actually on the field is skipping a chance to try to get better?

If I’m Jaylon, I show up and try to get better at football. I mean, the guy is like the rest of the corners and safeties who have played for the Bears the last couple decades by not knowing how to cover a receiver.

Two months to go until training camp.

May 23, 2023 by

Expect things to be a bit slow (assuming nothing stupid happens). I don’t care about the OTA camp the Bears are doing this week. I am sure someone will get hurt and others will “look really good” in practice.

How many losses will the Bears have this season?

May 13, 2023 by

The schedule is out and to put it bluntly, it doesn’t matter who the Bears face. The record will be as predicted by most logical fans. But it’s always fun to see where they actually get their few wins. Then as the season goes on, we can go back to this thread to see if we correctly predicted each game. And before I get to anything else, I’d like to once again say fuck Roger Goodell and his shitty way of handling the league with yet, another season with an extra game. Oh, and two Thursday Night games for the Bears? So much for “player safety.”

And I cannot believe I am going to say this. But it is a strong reality that the Bears don’t get their first win until Week 15. And I am very serious about that. Sure, someone could make the argument that they get it in the second week against the Buccaneers. At the same time, this team is known for playing like shit against teams they are *supposed* to beat.

So I will say four wins at the most. Their first win is the one no one expected and that’s against the Chargers in Week 8. The other three wins will be in Weeks 15-17 against the Browns, Cardinals and Falcons. There you go.

Disgust Discuss amongst yourselves.

Signing the statistically worst quarterback in NFL history should be a fireable offense. But re-signing him?

May 9, 2023 by

The look of a confused dipshit with no grasp on how to run a professional football team.

I am just really pissed and want to post again. It’s because I was reminded this morning that Ryan Poles is an inept general manager who has actually been able to prove he is more worthless than Phil Emery and Ryan Pace combined. I mean, the Chicago Blackhawks just got the first overall pick in the NHL Draft. Are they trading down to the ninth spot? No. They are taking a generational player with the first. The Bears could have found their own generational player with the first pick. Oh well.

I mean, have we not learned from history? They say those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it. So when Ryan Pace signs Mike Fucking Glennon, the person who takes over should know not to sign another proven shitty quarterback again. What does Ryan Poles do when he gets this job? Do the same thing that Pace did in the name of Nathan Peterman.

“HE’S THIRD STRING QUARTERBACK. WHY DO YOU CARE???” Some have already said this and I’ll tell you why that is an asinine way to look at things. It’s because instead of bringing back this dildo, they could have drafted someone who may actually be good. Since it’s the Bears, that probably won’t happen. But to bring back someone who should be working at a Walgreen’s rather than a quarterback in the NFL making millions is fucking stupid. Ryan Poles is a fucking dipshit and should have been fired the second he even thought about signing this worthless fuck.

Again, why not draft a quarterback in the later rounds as an insurance policy? The 49ers took Brock Purdy with the very last pick in the draft and if it wasn’t for an injury, they probably have a chance to win the Super Bowl. I am not saying the Bears would have done the same. But at least give the team a chance to succeed. Instead, we’re stuck with proven NFL failures in P.J. Walker and Nathan Peterwhacker.

I know you aren’t reading this, Ryan. But if someone somehow relays this message, I say the following:


Open thread

May 8, 2023 by

The NFL schedule will be released this Thursday. I am sure it will be a real battle finding where the Bears get their three wins this upcoming season.

Just remember, Ryan Poles took four offensive linemen in last year’s draft and three didn’t even play.

April 30, 2023 by

Here we go again. And for those who think I’m just a party pooper, look no further than last year’s draft picks. Having only one or two decent players out of 11 picks isn’t a very good ratio. And even worse, one of those “decent” players was a punter.

If Darnell Wright ends up being great, then great, I guess? But what about the other nine players? I know it’s only the second draft, but the fact that he fucked up royally last year doesn’t give me any faith that this group will be a success.

History has shown us that most of these players will be hurt. The others? Really bad at football.


Open Thread | Draft Day Edition

April 22, 2023 by

The Draft is upon us. This will be the official thread for when you need to comment after every bust is selected by Ryan Poles.

Fuck this franchise.

The major sports are becoming oversaturated and micromanaged.

April 15, 2023 by

Play-in games, extra playoff teams, rule changes, you name it. It’s ruining our favorite sports all in the name of the almighty dollar. The quality and excitement is all but gone.

Last night, I witnessed the Chicago Bulls embarrass themselves in a game that had no business even being played. They promptly blew the game in true Bulls’ fashion and failed to make the playoffs. It was the glorious “Play-In” game.

Why is there a need to make the two worst teams after the eighth spot to play extra games? There isn’t. The NBA only gives a shit about money. They don’t care about the quality of the product. And I haven’t even delved into their idiotic ways of watering down the quality by letting teenagers who have no business being in an NBA arena, let alone putting on a uniform to play. This is the main reason why the NBA has sucked for the last decade.

Half of the players in the league shouldn’t be in the league because of how shitty they are. If you want to be a school teacher, you can’t just go to college for one year. You need to go there for four years and earn a degree. Why can’t the NBA make players stay in college for three years so they actually learn how to play the game properly? Players need to stay in college not only to learn how to play defense, but to actually grow up and learn some social skills. Sure, Kobe and LeBron went into the league after high school. But let’s be real: That’s two out of a million. Fuck Adam Silver.

It really is a close race with who is ruining their league the most. I see it with the NFL, MLB and NBA. Thankfully, the NHL only does some dumb shit and while their playoff format has been fucking trash by basically being the same matchups every year, it’s a matter of time before known fuckface Gary Bettman does more damage.

MLB has also ruined things by adding extra teams and rounds to the playoffs. Hey, things were just fine with four playoff teams. Why add one-game playoffs and getting rid of the pitcher batting? Now, there is a pitch-clock? It’s no longer baseball. The pitcher is on the field. They should fucking bat. I am so glad I don’t give a damn about this sport anymore. It’s been completely ruined. Dipshits.

In the NFL, they added the glorious 17th game and seventh seed to the playoffs. So the solution to keeping players safe is making them play an extra game of the season and extra first-round game with an extra team. It’s like how do you keep your ass clean after taking a shit? Oh, I know. Wipe your ass BEFORE you shit. That’s the solution! We saw the Bears be the last seed in 2021 and it was a disaster. The Bears had no business being there. No team that is seventh should be in the playoffs. But again, it’s all about money and never the quality. Roger Goodell can join Adam Silver in fucking himself with a rusty fishing knife.

I’ve been meaning to write about this topic for a long time. And I finally got it out. If there is anything else that annoys you about changes to the games we love, feel free to add your thoughts.

Can Ryan Poles please fuck off now? The worst quarterback in history was re-signed.

April 6, 2023 by

Nathan Peterwhacker is back.

How stupid is Ryan Poles? Is drafting a quarterback in the later rounds not a better option? Because 99% of fans would say it is. But instead, let’s bring back the statistically worst quarterback in NFL history!

This is fucking rotten.

Open thread | The Waiting Game Edition

March 24, 2023 by

We are about a month away from the draft. Things seemed to have quieted down for now.

Can the Bears pick a great player by mistake with the ninth pick? Because as we all know, they can’t pick one any other way.