I am going to forget to put a lot of things in this post. I will probably add more in the comments section as time goes on.
For the last eight years, I did not watch one inning of baseball. I swear, that was the case. Just the thought of baseball angered and annoyed me. In 2008, I told everyone I was done and with good reason. The Cubs had just been swept by the Dodgers. I was with my now ex-girlfriend at the time. We were watching that last game in my apartment. Days before, I had told her I was going to be done watching after that Saturday. I honestly did not believe I would ever see this day.
I called Genrebuster after the final out and we chatted for a few minutes. It was pretty emotional and while we didn’t get through everything we wanted to talk about, we will in the coming days/weeks.
Before I get to anything else, I want to say that I never forgot why this website existed in the first place. I never forgot how we all came together as a group. It was all of us being pissed off.
It wasn’t just the losing that pissed me off and forced me to stop watching. It was the shit head fans (douchebags in Wrigleyville), the stench of Wrigley (the smell of piss just frustrated me) and many other things.
Throughout the last month, I’ve had person after person at my job, in my personal life and online, try to talk to me about baseball. I told my customers that I don’t watch baseball anymore. They will never win. I told my friends in real life that they are never going to win and there is no reason to go back.
All through this year, I didn’t watch. I simply just heard what was going on through the news and online. I refused to let my heart break again. I heard about the comeback in San Francisco. Then, I saw they were facing the Dodgers. That was the same team that ended my fandom and desire for the sport of baseball in 2008. Somehow, someway, they won that series. I don’t know all that happened other than they came back down 2-1 in the series.
Two Saturdays ago, I was driving in the suburbs to go visit a friend. I was listening to the Blackhawks’ post game on the radio. Judd Sirott said they were going to the newsdesk. I forgot the guy’s name, but he said something along the lines of: “Well, this is something we thought we would never see in our lifetime: The Cubs have won the pennant.”
That hit me on the inside. But, I didn’t break.
So, the World Series arrives. Once again, still not watching. I am just reading up about it throughout the days they play. I heard about how stressful the games were. Fast forward: Down 3-1.
Then, they win a game. And another. Game 7 is up.
I was checking my phone even more during the night. I was watching the Bulls and eating steak for dinner (steak dinner, boom!). The night before, I didn’t sleep hardly at all. I was thinking about this. None of us ever thought they would even be in this position.
I check my phone, 1-0. Then again, 5-1. Then, 6-3. I was getting even more nervous.
15 minutes after that 6-3 score, I checked it again to see it was 6-6. I couldn’t believe it. I thought to myself: “Well, I am glad I didn’t come back.” It was almost like, this is what the Cubs do. They do this. This is what they are supposed to do: Fuck you over. I almost thought God was doing the ultimate “fuck you” to all of us.
I read about 15 minutes later there was a rain delay. I was watching an NBA game on ESPN. On the ticker, it said that the game would resume at 11:15. I decided that I was finally going to turn the channel to the game. For the first time in eight years, I am going to watch baseball. I am a very superstitious person, but I felt that I couldn’t keep checking the scores. It was time to come back for this night.
I tuned in and a runner is on first with Bryant up. And let me say this: I have little or no idea who any of these guys are. I just have heard about some of them through the news. But, the Cubs score twice (they should have scored more, but who the fuck cares?!). Onto the bottom of the inning.
The first two outs come and I still told myself that they could still fuck this up (as I heard they did earlier in the night). I don’t know who this Carl Edwards Jr. guy is, but he sounds like a NASCAR driver. Fuck. He gives up a walk and a run. In comes this Montgomery dude. Two pitches later, a ground ball goes to Bryant and during that, I am thinking they will fuck this up, too. I couldn’t be any happier to be wrong.
I cannot believe the Cubs have just won the World Series. I was jumping up and down screaming “oh my God” countless times. It was insane. Eight years ago, I was telling all of you that there is no God because of what we have endured. Tonight, I was reassured of that. I was raised a Muslim and still am (proudly), but some days, I was having my doubts because I thought this day would never come. Good thing I didn’t tell my mom that I was having my doubts. She was raised on the South Side, so when there were times I disagreed with her, I would get torn a new asshole. But, enough with that. Back to the topic on hand.
There is so much more on my mind, but I cannot end this without mentioning how happy I am right now. I am not going to sit here and say “I’m back to watch baseball like I use to”, but I suffered for the first 22 years of my existence. I am 30 now. I qualify as a real fan.
I love all of you guys. I really do. All of you guys are the best. We all came to the original Fire Dusty Baker site over a decade ago. A bunch went away, but a lot of you stuck around. We all grew up on baseball. We all grew up loving the Cubs. It just sucks that the one of the reasons I grew up a Cubs’ fan, Ron Santo, wasn’t on Earth to see this. Likewise for Ernie Banks for you older folks you grew up watching him. But, I know those two guys are up with God right now celebrating. It makes me very emotional thinking about it. Listening to Santo on the radio growing up made me love baseball more than any other sport. Ron and Ernie watched this game together up in the sky.
Maybe later, I’ll chime in with more. This post wasn’t to get attention or whatever else others on the outside may think. This is just me letting everyone know (especially you, Dave), that I saw what was said in the last month. I was just keeping my distance until now. I was thinking about writing this the other day, but being the superstitious guy I am, I tried to not think about this too much.
Regardless of what happens for the rest of our lives, God-willing we live forever, but if we are to leave this world, we can leave the happiest motherfuckers in the world. We finally saw this.