Hey everybody. The Bears sent an email telling me to buy single-game tickets for the upcoming season!

April 21, 2017 by

Where is Captain Kirk when we need him?

“HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!”

And by the way, if you any of you have taken a look at the schedule for the Bears this upcoming season, you will see they will be lucky win three games.

Here we go again.

April 18, 2017 by

Since 2013, it’s become routine that I write an article like this talking about how the Blackhawks are one loss away from elimination in the playoffs. I wish it were different. I wish the Blackhawks were up 2-1 or 3-0 as I type this. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

The Blackhawks are down 3-0 in this series against the Predators. It’s been frustrating. It’s been annoying. I am writing this just after 1:00 a.m. because I know I am not going to sleep much. This is what happens when I am pissed off.

The Blackhawks were up 2-0 in the 3rd of Game 3 when things just fell apart. Horrible bounces and inability to clear the puck gave the Predators two goals. That’s hockey. People want to talk about how other sports are random, hockey beats it all. This game is so fucked up and with all of the rule changes in the last decade, teams can come back in a hurry. That’s what happened in this game.

I am not going to go all meatball by saying the Blackhawks aren’t trying. No. These are the motherfucking Blackhawks that many of us loved since childhood. These are the mighty Blackhawks. This is the team that has spoiled us with three Stanley Cups since the start of this decade. They even had a chance for a fourth one in 2014. This team didn’t all of a sudden turn into a bunch of bums. It’s just how the game is played. The Blackhawks had a ton of breaks go their way in those Cup years. This year, it isn’t happening.

The last time the Blackhawks have been swept in a series was 15 years ago against the Joel Quenneville-coached Blues. Because this is hockey, the law of average says the Blackhawks will be swept again in due time and it just may be this Thursday.

One thing about these Blackhawk teams since the start of the decade: They don’t give up. In 2011, they were 3-0 to the Canucks and forced Game 7. Sure, it sucked that a shitty turnover in overtime lost that game. But they didn’t throw in the towel. 2014 was similar with them down 3-1 to the Kings in the Conference Final. Overtime got the best of them again, but as it went for 2011, they didn’t go down quietly. Let’s not forget 2013 when they were down 3-1 to the Red Wings. I didn’t declare the season over, but I didn’t feel all that great. They won three in a row and the series. We all know what happened after that.

Yeah, it sucks they keep getting down 3-0/3-1/3-2 in these series, but damn. I wish they would just sweep everybody en route to a Stanley Cup. That just doesn’t happen.

But, this one question remains:

Can Quenneville and his mighty Blackhawks pull off the biggest comeback of this decade by winning four in a row against the Predators?

…so, where are the bats and relievers?

April 16, 2017 by

The season has officially started…and the Pirates just swept the Cubs at Wrigley. WTF?

Open thread.

April 11, 2017 by

The floor is yours, my frendts.

Thanks to #29 for the memories

April 10, 2017 by

Bryan Bickell is the man. I think this is yet, another reminder that the people we cheer for in sports are humans, too.

Bickell was kicking ass through the 2013 Cup run. He did very well the next year. However, in 2015, his game diminished. No one could figure it out. After a couple of years, he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He still came back to finish the season with the Hurricanes.

He was a big reason why the Blackhawks won the Cup in 2013. I am never going to forget him starting the “2 goals in 17 seconds” rally in Game 6. Players from all three of the Cup-winning teams always have special places in my heart. Out of all three teams, that one was the most impressive.

His career has been cut short because of this shitty disease. I am sure he is thankful, however, for being able to play in the league for almost ten years.

I am going to miss this dude.

Let me tell you something, brother!

April 6, 2017 by

I have to say, I’ve been fortunate enough to attend the last four Wrestlemania’s and six overall. The last four, I’ve been able to attend. Every one of them, I was able to meet some wrestlers.

Last Saturday in Orlando topped it all.

My hotel was a ten-minute walk from where Hulk Hogan’s new beach shop opened up. He was doing meet-and-greets for a few hours and luckily, I didn’t have to wait long.

15 years ago, I went to my first wrestling show (Smackdown) in Rockford. It was the first week Hogan was back in the then-WWF with Scott Hall and Kevin Nash (as the nWo). I’d have to say my wrestling fan-hood came full-circle that afternoon.

Play ball!

April 2, 2017 by

The Chicago Cubs haven’t won a WS in 5 months…

Oh, Ryan Pace. I fucking hate you, you stupid motherfucker.

March 23, 2017 by

Why do teams keep wanting me? I suck at football.

I fucking hate you, Ryan Pace. I really do. I cannot fucking stand you. Since the minute you arrived at Halas Hall, it’s been a complete tire fire. Not like it was one before it. But, you’ve sure put gasoline all over it.

You stupid fuck. I know nothing about running a professional football team. But everyone and their mother knows that Mark Sanchez sucks ass at football. Everyone and their mother knows that Mike Glennon sucks ass at football. You know who may not suck, but won’t know until they play? DeShaun Watson. Do you want another name? DeShone Kizer. I am not saying those two are the answer. But, I know this: The future isn’t Glennon nor Dirty Sanchez.

Ryan, you are the absolute worst. You’re making people wish Jerry Angelo was back in the saddle. At least he tried to fix the quarterback position by trading for Cutler or drafting guys like Grossman and Orton. You hear that? JERRY FUCKING ANGELO ACTUALLY TRIED TO FIX THE QUARTERBACK PROBLEM. YOU’RE BURYING IT EVEN FURTHER INTO THE GROUND YOU COCKSUCKING ASSHOLE.

And while I am at it, fuck you George McCaskey for letting this asshole ruin your franchise even more. I hope you realize it when Soldier Field is half-full after the first home game of the season. You let this happen. And quit complaining about your mom being “pissed off”. Maybe if you hired a general manager who would, I don’t know, actually be aware of how to run a football team, this wouldn’t be a problem.

I am not going to sit here and say the Bears should have kept Cutler. But, until they find someone BETTER, he shouldn’t have been released. Mike Glennon nor Mark Sanchez are better. This will be the first season I don’t go to any games in nine years. Until this team makes changes, I will stay out of Soldier Field.

Fuck you, Ryan Pace. Go eat shit.

Greg Gumbel can live another 300 years and won’t look any differently than he does now.

March 21, 2017 by

Over the weekend, I was watching a lot of the NCAA Tournament games and noticed Greg Gumbel once again, being in the studio. I’ve watched this guy since I can even remember. He’s awesome at his job. I think he’s much more likable than his brother, the insane Bryant. He’s a Chicago native as well.

As I was watching some of the games on Friday, I was asking telling myself: “How old is this dude? He looks the exact same since I was a kid.”

The guy is 70 and looks a minimum of 20 years younger. I don’t know if it’s plastic surgery (a lot of people in TV do this), a ton of make-up or if this dude is just a genetic freak. Regardless, I want to look like if I am 70. It’s just insane.

Gumbel is the man, though. Seeing him on TV makes me appreciate sportscasters who aren’t arrogant shit stains. It’s nostalgic to see him on there. Not many from my childhood are still around and it appears the newer ones are terrible.

We should appreciate people like Greg Gumbel in sports. Folks like him, Mike Emrick and Marv Albert (yeah, he bit a hooker’s ass, but he’s not a shithead like his son) don’t grow on trees. He’s great at his job whether it’s college basketball or calling NFL games. It’s sad we don’t have more great sportscasters than some of the ones I’ve mentioned.

Cheers, Greg. Looking good, my frendt.

Open thread

March 16, 2017 by

March Madness – Who do you have?

Last year, I picked Villanova and was actually right for a change. This year, my Final Four consists of Florida, Kansas, Notre Dame and Kentucky. Kansas beats Notre Dame 75-70.