Ted Phillips – Ryan Pace – John Fox: The Three Dotards – Bears 23 Steelers 17


Oh, Chicago Bears, I fucking hate you. All of you piss me off in some way, shape or form.

This game today was one of the worst ones I have ever seen the Bears play. And trust me, I know I can be overly dramatic. But I am serious. This was one of the most frustrating, fucked-up games I have ever seen the Bears play EVER. From turnovers, to penalties, to stupid mistakes, this game had it all.

Marcus Cooper: When the Bears finally did something awesome for a change by blocking a field goal attempt, If the Bears do not cut this guy by tomorrow, they truly do not care about winning. I don’t give a fuck if VIRGINIA FUCKING MCCASKEY has to go to Halas Hall to do this tomorrow to cut Marcus Fucking Cooper. He should be gone by Monday to make an example. What he did at the end of the first half of slowing down BEFORE getting to the end zone is one of the dumbest things I’ve seen. And that’s saying something seeing has how this team has been since I was a child.

This was so stupid, I even texted Genrebuster out of frustration because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. That’s how embarrassing this was. Oh, and to put some icing on the cake, he held a receiver in the end zone after the Bears had a stop on 3rd down. Well, that lead to the Steelers getting to within a field goal. FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

End of the first half: So, after this whole stupid fucking scenario, by rule, the Bears had one play at the spot of the penalty (inside the 1). Since I probably figured the Bears wouldn’t have scored that touchdown, a false start penalty did them in resulting in just a field goal.

Connor Barth: How is this fucking guy still in the NFL? Oh, I am sorry. The Bears allow him to still have a job. Nice miss on that easy field goal in the first half, fucker.

Mike Glennon: Speaking of how someone is still employed in football, Mike Glennon did his best to give the game away. He threw an interception and damn near threw another one at the end of regulation. It was unbelievable. This guy can’t throw an accurate pass nor move out of the pocket to save his life.

Jordan Howard/Tarik Cohen: I am not going to bash these two guys too much because they kicked ass on the ground in this game. The play-calling, due to Glennon’s inability to be reasonable quarterback, was very solid. The Bears basically played “Madden” all day and it paid dividends. But, like in Madden, you keep running the ball and fumbles will start. Jordan Howard fumbled on a run in the second half (it looked like his knee was down). That lead to the game-tying field goal. Then, at the end of regulation, Cohen got the first down but fumbled it right after getting hit. Thankfully, Bobbie Massie recovered it just in time.

Cohen was amazing in overtime on that run that got called back. He wasn’t out of bounds, but one of the referee called him out at the 37. Two plays later, Howard went right in and ran the ball down the field. I was delaying a celebration thinking there would be a flag (because it would have been appropriate for there to be one). Some shitty news as it appears Howard hurt his shoulder. Even after, he stayed in the game and got over 100 yards rushing. Wow.

1-2 and a Thursday Night showdown with the Packers. Also, Marcus Cooper sucks. I don’t think I mentioned that.

God help us all.

23 Responses to “Ted Phillips – Ryan Pace – John Fox: The Three Dotards – Bears 23 Steelers 17”

  1. chucky Says:

    Is it time for me to break out the ol’ chainsaw Fro?

    Give me the word pal, and I’ll fire that thing up. I’ll even give you a turn or two with it, Your call.

  2. dvxprime Says:

    The Bears may not be, man for man, the least talented team in the NFL, but it looks like they will be the biggest collection of dumbasses in the league.

    That being said, on a day when the Bears score an unqualified success of an upset of the Steelers, and doing so while the Cubs took the 3rd out of 4 from the Brewers (magic number: TWO) somedays you just gotta take what God gives you, say “Thank you Lord”) and carry on.

  3. Pie in the Sky Says:

    Week 3 is nearly complete. Barring an Oakland comeback, only two undefeated teams remain: Atlanta (who is a Jordan Howard drop away from a Week 1 loss) and Kansas City.

    Parity. But is it a parity of good football or medicore suckage? I feel as though it’s the latter.

  4. Pie in the Sky Says:


  5. Pie in the Sky Says:


    And this is why you shouldn’t use the Internet when intoxicated. Sorry.

  6. Fro Dog Says:


    I wanted you to drive to DeKalb and use the chainsaw on my TV so I wouldn’t have to watch that game. It was driving me fucking nuts.

    You are also a very good man by allowing me to use your precious chainsaw. I know you don’t let many go near it, so I am honored. You’re the man!

    And for our friend Pie, that game with the Packers and Bengals must have driven you crazy too. It appears that teams like the Bears, Bengals and Lions always find ways to piss themselves. The Bengals were up two touchdowns and at that time, I was thinking that the Packers were going to can McCarthy right there. That was also a crazy ending.

  7. erniesarmy Says:

    Fro, I have been wanting the Packers to can McCarthy, and his dim-witted “No” Defensive Coordinator with him.

    The man is not an elite coach. The team came out again not ready to play football. That’s on the coach.

  8. dvxprime Says:

    Mediocre suckle. Mos def.

  9. Pie in the Sky Says:

    Green Bay never comes ready to play football until Week 10 at the earliest. Then they streak into the playoffs. Unfortunately, the slow start costs them the home field they needed to have any chance of advancing to the SB. Can’t win road games (or even home games) when the defense gives up historical beatdowns every January. I think of all the defensive coordinators (even Fangio) who’ve been available the last few years and how this team would’ve won at least one, maybe two more SBs with them.

    But after the Cubs won the WS, nothing is going to top that. So I just take it in stride. If McCarthy’s friendship with Capers is more important than championships, then so be it.

    That GB-CIN game didn’t drive me crazy as much as the theatrics that were going on throughout the league during the entire week. So many dropped passes, errors, beyond idiotic gaffes (e.g. Cooper) and overall bad performances this week and the whole season so far. These players need to focus on their livelihoods and KEEP POLITICS OUT OF FOOTBALL. The lackluster quality of the games combined with the constant whining/complaining/bitching has made my favorite game borderline unwatchable.

  10. Mitch Cumstein Says:

    Spellcheck and alcohol…try it. My eyes hurt. I’ll stop for now.

  11. Cbears523 Says:

    Idk how glennon still has his job after this game. He tries to give the game away at the end a few times. We run for 200 plus yards and he can’t even complete a single pass to anyone not a running back. Jordan Howard is the face of the franchise right now for sure. I gained alot of respect for him yesterday. He kept coming back onto the field even with that shoulder killing him. Our defense has been playing a whole lot better this year. Hats off to them for being stingy. I think if trubisky plays right now we can win half of our games left.

  12. Fro Dog Says:

    That cannot be the real Mitch Cumstein from the old site a decade ago. The real Mitch would scream and yell at commenters. Or is he older and more wiser now?

    In regards to what Cbears523 said, I don’t get how Glennon has a job either. In fact, I don’t even know why he was signed in the first place. He’s just a slower and taller version of Brian Hoyer.

  13. Cbears523 Says:

    I would rather have Brian Hoyer than glennon. Hoyer is at least serviceable. Hell I’d rather have Barkley too. atleast he made a few plays out on the field and could avoid a sack too. I don’t understand why we didn’t keep him around! Trubisky needs to start right now. It’s simple to see he would give us the best chance to win. I feel like our running game could take alot of pressure off of him and aid his development

  14. dvxprime Says:

    Cubs up 8-1 in the 4th.

    Fuck the NFL and fuck the Bears until Thursday.

  15. Fro Dog Says:

    Our frendt Steve Rosenbloom once again, echoes what we say.


  16. erniesarmy Says:

    Marcus Cooper? Marcus Cooper? I watched your video Fro, and I cannot believe my eyes!

    If I coached that guy he would be pulling splinters from his rectum for the rest of the season!

    Just plain lazy, unfocused, stupid play! A play my Junior High team would know they should never do.

  17. erniesarmy Says:

    “The Bears will continue to start Glennon, which has been the biggest gulp of stupid this year.” Rosenbloom

    Fro, can we borrow this guy here in L.A.? It must be nice to have a writer who tells the truth. All our sports writers are bought and paid for by the local teams.

  18. Fro Dog Says:

    Sorry, dude. Rosenbloom is one of the few writers in Chicago that actually writes stuff that makes sense. You guys can have any others, however. Most of them suck.

    I can imagine how shitty L.A. media coverage is. ESPN is out there as well and I am sure that makes people such as yourself pissed.

  19. dvxprime Says:

    Way to shit your pants, Cubs (down 8-3 top of the 8th at St Lou).

  20. dvxprime Says:


  21. Cbears523 Says:

    I can’t fucking take it. Glennon is more useless than tits on a hog

  22. erniesarmy Says:

    Good night, Fro! I’m watching the Bears vs Packers game. So far, the Bears look like a team that would rather be somewhere else.

    Now I see your frustration. Wow.

    Knowing the Packer “non-defense” though, the game is far from over.

  23. Fro Dog Says:


    This game is so bad, even God doesn’t want to watch this! That lightning they showed was insane.


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