Wild Thing, you made my heart sing…or, skip a beat.

by

If the Cubs go 20 games under .500, I say bring Mitch (Williams) back and let him throw the ball WHEREVER…now THAT would be truly entertaining and more fun than a goat, a priest or a noodle statue (Cummstein, stay home).

Then have everybody bring their “Go Cubs Go” recordings to Wrigley Stadium…and burn them on the pitchers mound. This will surely guarantee a World Series victory for the Cubs…and we’ll all live happily ever after…

5/14/2012. CUBS WIN, CUBS WIN!! baaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaa

This just in: Dolis comes through with another save…Kudos. Bullpen by committee it is (for now). How long can it last? Gentlemen and the rest of you, your thoughts?

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24 Responses to “Wild Thing, you made my heart sing…or, skip a beat.”

  1. Tony Says:

    Anything but Carlos Marmol.

  2. chucky Says:

    1) Kevin Gregg is not a serviceable closer.

    2) Anybody who has a copy of “Go, Cubs, Go” need to not only burn those copies on the mound, but they need to jump in that fire as well.

    3) ALL statues need to removed from Wrigley as soon as possible, and sent directly to Al Yellons house, the only place that a shrine of losers should be displayed. Then it should be burned to the fucking ground!

    4) The seventh inning stretch “guest conductor” bullshit should be cancelled…..FOREVER!!!

    5) Kevin Gregg is not a serviceable closer.

    6) Kerry Wood should donate his brain after his death to investigate signs of CTE. Honestly, I think there is no doubt about it, considering the fact that he thinks he can still pitch.

    7) Wrigley Field should be condemned immediately, then bulldozed and plowed under to make room for a parking lot for a new, modern, high tech stadium.

    8) Carlos Marmol should be locked in a padded room, and put in a straight-jacket for the duration of his life so he cannot blow any more save opportunities.

    9) And finally, Kevin Gregg is not a serviceable closer.

    That should do it.

  3. chucky Says:

    Gee, someone else thinks the same way I do.

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304192704577404424241146562.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

    By the way, have I mentioned lately that Kevin Gregg is not a serviceable closer?

  4. genrebuster Says:

    Thanks for posting that link chucky, good article. Never thought I’d say it…but I’m fine with Wrigley “going away”. It’s truly become a monument to LOSING.

  5. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    Dolis blows a game for the second time in less than a week.

    Just get rid of all these morons and bring up some minor leaguers. It can’t be any worse.

  6. Pie In The Sky Says:

    Dolis definitely isn’t ready to be the closer, but he’s probably the best reliever they have outside of James Russell vs. lefties, maybe Shawn Camp (and Camp should be a weak middle reliever in a good bullpen).

    I see Kerry Wood gave up some more runs /:

  7. DVXPrime Says:

    Upon further review of chucky’s article I would be okay with every AV-8B Harrier in the Marine Corps inventory being loaded up with as many napalm canisters as they can carry, then all of them launched on an arc-light strike on the Friendly Confines.

    The article may be semi-serious, but here are my thoughts:

    I do agree that the Powers That Have Ever Been in the Cubs organization (TribuneCo included) have been more interested in selling the experience of the ballpark and the “romance” of the Cubs; long-standing futility. Think of it: the Cubs are the ONLY team in Major League Baseball to have their failures “celebrated” in a (an off?) Broadway play.

    Everything else added in the last quarter century-the damned celebrity Harry Caray wannabe’s, “Go, Cubs, Go”, the statues-has been added to just make Wrigley Field a shrine for being losers. In a sport run by a used car salesmen, where the Miami Marlins (twice?!?) and the Arizona Diamondbacks have World Series banners flying in their stadiums, in a city where PROFESSIONAL SOCCER TEAMS HAVE WON MORE CHAMPIONSHIPS (3!!!) IN THE LAST THIRTY-TWO YEARS THAN THE CUBS HAVE WON IN OVER A HUNDRED…

    Okay, that was over the top…my point is, we really DO need to change the culture of losing in this franchise.

    However…

    If it really does mean razing Wrigley Field to the dust, where are the Cubs going to play, and who’s going to pay for it?

    I would be a little bit more supportive of such a move if not for the current corrupt sonofabitch occupying the office of the Mayor of Chicago, and also if not for the other dumbass occupying the office Governor of Illinois.

    Did I mention that the State of Illinois is just a perp walk to the courthouse away from bankruptcy?

    In the short term, holy shit do we need some better relievers.

  8. DVXPrime Says:

    But on a more positive note…the Bears have signed all their draft picks. Ummm…yay?

    Clock’s ticking, Lovie…

    (cue clock ticking sequence from “24”)

  9. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    Even the past two seasons, the stadium was empty the last two months. I wish it was empty all season but at least it’s a start. However, when Tommy Boy quits thinking about statues and raising the prices of tickets every year for a mediocre team, there is only one other solution. It may sound crazy but…

    WINNING GAMES.

    You win and more people will show up, buy the concessions, merchandise and all that jazz. It makes the most money.

  10. Tony Says:

    I do think the Cubs need a new stadium, and if tearing down Wrigley is the way to go, then so be-it. Nothing lasts forever.

    I disagree with the Article on several points. One is the stadium being too damn nice.

    I’ve been to several stadiums, I’m sure you guys have been to more. Wrigley has them beat. It’s just the vantage point, there really is no such thing as a bad seat unless you are behind a pillar.

    The Cell is horrible. Like a prison/Disney Theme Park.

    Now inside the club house, as I have read, I heard the clubhouse sucks. I don’t doubt it.

    But if they are going to make a new stadium, I would like them to keep the “feel” that I have at the game, where you are almost level with the field.

  11. DVXPrime Says:

    Wrigley Field’s going to host a game of The Sport That Must Not Be Named this summer.

    At the rate the Cubs are going, this might be the only entertainment we get this season. Probably the most attended event as well.

    Or is Ricketty-butt about to go broke and he’s whoring out Wrigley for anything that might put butts in the seats? If so, could he have at least hosted two teams that Chicago’s TSTMNBN fanbase would actually recognize?

  12. Tony Says:

    lol, It’s pretty sad when we host a sport That Must Not Be Named with countries That Also Should Not Be Named.

    Now, more [i]real[/i] Football and Hockey games would be cool

  13. Pie In The Sky Says:

    I’m at the point where I’m not sure that any of these relievers will finish the season with an ERA below 5.00. Damn some of these guys should be in Double-A at best.

  14. MadCityMac Says:

    Chucky, thanks for the link to that article. I heard about it the other day (Boers and Bernstein maybe). So goddamned many sheeple!

  15. chucky Says:

    Mike….you’re welcome. Speaking of sheeple, apparently this is all Fanboys dumb-fuck daddy has to worry about.

    http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2012/05/17/report-cubs-owners-father-lauching-hard-line-campaign-attack-on-obama/

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a huge fan of Obama. Personally, I hate both parties equally. But how goddamned stupid do you have to be to launch a retarded campaign against the president, then turn around and beg that same presidents former White House Chief of Staff for money to rebuild a stadium that should be fucking bulldozed to the ground? Yeah, I know Joe isn’t actually doing the begging. Tom is. But common sence should tell you to not take a stick and poke a fucking hornets nest. Joe, you’re a fucking idiot, and you will torpedo any attempts made by your son to rebuild Mount Failure, you dumb-fuck.

    Nice going, numbnuts.

  16. chucky Says:

    “common sence”? Let’s try “common sense” instead.

    Oh boy! Gimme some fuckin’ coffee!!!!!!!!!

  17. chucky Says:

    Volstad has to go. He absolutely fucking sucks. When Casey Coleman becomes a better option you know have some serious issues. And right now Coleman is a better option.

    AND COLEMAN FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!! SO GET FUCKING RID OF CHRIS VOLSTAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Pie In The Sky Says:

    Volstad hasn’t pitched well since 2008. I’d move him to the bullpen and see if he can excel in middle relief. If he sucks there then just option him and if he gets claimed on waivers then be thankful and move on.

  19. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    Here’s an idea. Brace yourselves boys.

    Volstad…the closer. Hey…it can’t be any worse than the pile of shit that’s there now so what do we have to lose?

  20. chucky Says:

    IT’S ABOUT GODDAMN TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2012/05/18/breaking-kerry-wood-to-retire/

    I’d love to find out how Al Yellon feels about this.

    Now get rid of that stupid shitstain Marmol.

    To quote Daniel Bryan, “YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!!

  21. chucky Says:

    Fuck me. I just had to ask, didn’t I? Brace yourselves. My comments afterward will be rather ugly.

    ——————————————————————————–

    From the terrible rag “Bleed Cubbie Blue”

    Kerry Wood is probably the biggest coulda/shoulda/woulda story in recent Cubs history, and perhaps with a little time and perspective, we’ll find that it might be the biggest such story in all of team history.

    You all know the basic story. Drafted No. 1 by the Cubs in 1995. Three years later in the major leagues, setting a NL record with 20 strikeouts in his fifth MLB start on May 6, 1998, a month before he turned 21 years old. Helped lead the Cubs to playoff spots in 1998 and 2003, pitched them to their first postseason series win in 95 years, then failed when he could have pitched them into the World Series. He was a standup guy after that loss, crying at his locker, and I think that cemented the love that many of us felt for him as a player.

    Then the injuries, and the comeback as a closer in 2008, helping again pitch the Cubs into the postseason, becoming the first Cub since the 1930s to play in four postseasons with the team.

    Dumped — there really is no other word for it — by management in 2009, he went to Cleveland, then New York, where he was effective after learning a cutter from Mariano Rivera. On his return, he had a decent year as a setup man in 2011 before his ineffectiveness and more injuries forced his retirement Friday.

    Wood was 86-75 with 63 career saves in 445 games (178 starts) and 1581 strikeouts. Those aren’t even close to Hall of Fame numbers, nor do they call for any sort of retirement of his No. 34 — I would emphatically say “No” to any call for a number retirement. Obviously, the injuries and 16 trips to the DL over his career prevented him from becoming the star we all thought and hoped he would become when he streaked across the Cubs sky in 1998.

    Why, then, the popularity? I think it’s more the standup-guy thing than any performance on the field, even though there were many memorable games, including the home run he hit in his first game back after TJ surgery on May 2, 2000 and an 11-strikeout shutout of the Mets on Sept. 17, 2003 in crunch time in a pennant race. There are many others; I’m sure you have your own memories.

    Wood never made excuses. He was reportedly a clubhouse leader who younger pitchers looked up to. The recent glove-tossing incident aside (and surely, that can simply be chalked up to his own frustration at not being able to produce), he’s always set a good example for the entire organization.

    I mourn a career that could have been great, and never was because of injuries. That’s a shame. I hope Wood does stay associated with the Cubs organization in some capacity — coaching, broadcasting, whatever — because I think he’s a good human being and a person any Cubs fan should be proud is part of this team.

    A personal salute, then, to Kerry Wood, for what he accomplished, and sadness that he couldn’t be more, and best wishes to him and his family now and in the future. Thanks for the great memories, Kerry. I only wish you could have been the one holding the World Series trophy when it finally comes to Wrigley Field.

    ———————————————————————————-

    You guys can have a field day ripping this total fucking douchebag to shreds.

    How is this dumb fuck even allowed near a computer? He’s mourning the career of Kerry Wood? Man, get the fuck outta my face with that bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a goddamned dork Yellon! Get a fucking life. He was a fucking pitcher. He made millions. He’ll be just fine not losing any more games for the Cubs. Stupid motherfucking sheep like you have made the Cubs the biggest goddamned joke in pro sports. It’s assholes like you that make me ashamed to be a Cubs fan. I hope for the sake of mankind that you suffer from that flesh eating bacteria and it eats both of your hands, so you will no longer have the ability to type out horseshit like that. You are without a doubt, the biggest dumb-fuck this side of Ronnie Woo-Woo. I fucking despise you.

  22. Pie In The Sky Says:

    The awkward thing about that blog is when the Cubs actually have a player who is performing well (Samardzija, LaHair), that guy doesn’t seem to like them much.

  23. genrebuster Says:

    Matt Stairs Superfan…I’m going to take a stab at the correct answer…: NOTHING.

  24. genrebuster Says:

    apparently my answer was incorrect…as we have — at least in the short term –lost Volstad.

SHOW DA FIRE AND PASSION, MY FRENDT!

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