Recap of Bears vs. Vikings – IN ADVANCE! (Vikings 24 Bears 7)


Instead of staying up late or doing this in the morning, I decided to type out a recap of the game before it. Two years ago, when the Bears went to New England and were spanked, I did something very similar. Sure, someone who may never watch football could have predicted that game, but I wanted to do it again.

Before that, rumors have been all over the place that John Fox will be canned eventually. The more they lose, the sooner it will be, I suppose. Hey McCaskey’s, if you are going to fire Fox, send Ryan Pace and Teddy Bear Phillips with him. It’s a collective effort, after all.

Now, on to this recap:

Jay Cutler: He’s back. It looked good early on (as it usually does). Then, Cutler and the whole “holding onto the ball for a long period of time” happened again. If only this offensive line can protect the quarterback for ten seconds. I don’t hate Cutler. I really don’t. I just think it’s time for him to go as well. It’s not working and hasn’t worked. Enough is enough.

Jordan Howard: He’s one of the few bright spots this season so far. But he doesn’t make up for the rest of the picks by Pace who are busts. Keep giving the ball to Howard.

I-Pass Defense: Well, the no-named, no face defense showed up again. I swear, if I saw these guys on the street, I wouldn’t know who they were. The Bears drafted quite a few guys on defense these last two years and not one of them is helping. At least two pass interference calls were made because the no-named, no faced defensive backs didn’t turn around when the ball was thrown. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO TURN THE FUCK AROUND SO YOUR BACK ISN’T FACING THE QUARTERBACK? FUCK. That’s how bad and PATHETIC this defense is. Vic Fangio, Mr. Defensive Genius himself, is a phony. This whole fixing up the defense thing will take years. Fuck.

Alright, the Bears are 1-7. Can Teddy, Pace and Fox all be fired now?

10 Responses to “Recap of Bears vs. Vikings – IN ADVANCE! (Vikings 24 Bears 7)”

  1. genrebuster Says:

    If Ted Phillips isn’t shit-canned along with Fox and Pace, then the McCaskey’s should be formally nominated as “the most PATHETIC pro sports owners ever”.

    I’m with you on Cutler. He’s probably tired of throwing up in his mouth, and I bet he’ll be thrilled to move on to another team…

  2. chucky Says:

    Well done Fro. I think you could probably copy and paste this for the rest of the season. It would probably be pretty close at least to being accurate.

    Genre, the fucktard McCaskeys have that award locked up. Nobody can even compete with those assclowns.

  3. genrebuster Says:

    Chucky, agreed, on both counts.

  4. Fro Dog Says:

    They are well on their way to that “award”. Phillips could bankrupt the Bears and he would still get a raise. The Bears are in the top ten of the most profitable franchises in the NFL. According to Forbes, they pulled in $65 million in profit last season/season before that. For a team that hasn’t been a legit contender since the 80’s, that’s PATHETIC.

    Our good friend, Dan, sums it up on Fire Ron Turner:

  5. Dave Says:

    Wow, I was agreeing with you, the Vikes were gonna kill us. But we are wrong so far. 13-0 with 2 min left in the half.

    Also, how about them Bulls? 3-0 so far in the season.

    Also Cubs fandom misses you Fro.

  6. Dave Says:

    Bears win 20-10. Gotta rewrite this, haha.

  7. erniesarmy Says:

    Da Bears beat the Vikes! Fro, stay clear of Vegas!

  8. Pie in the Sky Says:

    Haha. You should’ve waited to do one of these until they got that “at least one game per year they pull out of their ass” out of their system.

  9. genrebuster Says:

    Cutler is now THE MAN, no? 😉

  10. genrebuster Says:



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