A bag of shells.

by

Alfonso Sorianosorianofinger

Thanks to jimmy d. for the motivation…the PATHETIC Chicago Cubs sure aren’t providing any for me to give a crap. SOS.

The day Mr. Clutch is no longer a Cub will be cause for celebration, at least for me. Too bad Fanboy Ricketts didn’t clean house when he bought the Cubs.

tick FUCKING tock.

Here’s to you, Mr. Clutch   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwcAWi55gAA

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27 Responses to “A bag of shells.”

  1. Garbageman Says:

    Mr. Ricketts, is there any other garbage you’d like returned? It was no trouble at all digging up Mr. Gregg…

  2. Yeti Says:

    “Hey All,

    I’m not sure if you were all familiar with how dominant our “clean up” hitter has been this year, but let me fill you in…he (Sorry Anus) hit his first homerun of the year yesterday against the Rangers. Additionally, because he is such a great performer under “pressure”, that homerun was to drive in his…wait for it….wait for it…first RBI of the season. WOW!!! Clean-up hitter getting his first homer AND first RBI THIRTEEN fucking games into the season. NICE!!!

    Later,
    Jimmy D.”

    You understand how guys get RBIs right?

  3. Pie In The Sky Says:

    Yea. A 2-for-14 clip with RISP with none of those as extra-base hits. That’s served with a .393 OPS.

    Of course, Soriano does very well when the bases are empty.

  4. Pie In The Sky Says:

    *And just so there is no misunderstanding, that’s a .393 OPS with RISP*

  5. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    When Yeti looks bad in an argument, he tends to move on quickly to talk about something else. He says it’s just a numbers game.

  6. Yeti Says:

    Yes, in his 14 ABs with RISP this year, it’s not been good.. But of course, you guys don’t understand a small sample size can skew how good or bad a guy is in that situation. Lifetime .802 OPS with RISP and a .258 BA, which is merely 15 points below his lifetime BA. And if you think that 15 points is significant, over his 1570 ABs with RISP, in order for his RISP BA to match his overall BA, he would have to have a mere 24 hits to make that equal. He’s been in the league for 15 years, so if he had 1.6 more hits with RISP, he’d be at his lifetime BA. It’s not that far off.

    So, really, his career numbers with RISP are not that bad. However, instead of caring about the almost 1600ABs he’s had in that situation, you’d rather focus in on the 14 ABs from this year to say “HE SUCKS IN THE CLUTCH”

  7. Yeti Says:

    Also, RBIs come from people on base in front of the player. The fact is, the 1-2-3 batters haven’t been getting on base at a good rate. Soriano’s 14 ABs with RISP in the 4 hole is one of the lowest totals in the league. That’s not his fault.

  8. chucky Says:

    Yeti….take your stats and stick them up your ass. Then go suck off your butt buddy Kevin Gregg.

  9. jimmy d. Says:

    Yeti,

    You’re a total fucking TOOL!!! You should have pursued a career in law because all you like to do is argue.

    AND, just to set the fucking record straight, Mr. Cut and Paste, I didn’t say that “HE SUCKS IN THE CLUTCH”. Instead, I was merely implying that he’s a horrible excuse for an $18M per year baseball player (pretty much all of the time).
    I just took a little time to analyze the numbers (you’re not the only one capable of doing that). Here’s what they show. Since he joined the Cubs, his Runs/Game are DOWN. His Hits/Game are DOWN. His Total Bases/Game are DOWN. His 2B/Game are DOWN. His 3B/Game are DOWN. His HR/Game are DOWN. His SO/Game are UP…great job in over-achieving in the strike out category. (Surprisingly, his BB/Game are actually UP…2 per year more since joining the Cubs). His BA, OBP, SLG, and OPS are all…DOWN. AND, his numbers would have sucked even more if he didn’t have a pretty decent show of it during the 2012 season (again, when the team was 40 games out of first place by Memorial Day).

    If he were such a “clutch” player as you want us to believe, then why is it that he hasn’t been snatched up at the trade deadline (or any other time, for that matter) by a contender that could just use that one missing piece of the puzzle? Because he SUCKS. He’s a joke in the field and he’s an overpaid hack at the plate. We could get this mediocre performance from a player commanding a third of this ass-hats salary.

    There’s no point in arguing with you because your so delusional that you will bend the “stats” to show whatever truth you want to believe. So be it. Now, go fuck yourself!

    Later,
    Jimmy D.

  10. jimmy d. Says:

    Unbelievable…Mr. Nut Rub puts us in our place. I hate this fucking team so much right now!!! What a fucking embarrassment it is to claim to be a fan!!!

  11. genrebuster Says:

    Dear Yeti: My sample size is “Sorry-Oh-No as a Cub”.

    I have all the data I need. I’d rather have a guy who hits .220 come through ONE TIME when it really matters (like the playoffs) then the guy who is possibly the most overpaid and over-rated player in baseball; the guy who hasn’t produced as a Cub when it REALLY mattered.

    If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out his postseason stats as a Cub (2007, 2008)….TRULY PATHETIC (like the crap you continue to spew forth)…

  12. Yeti Says:

    So you’re saying a guy’s numbers in his age 31-37 years are worse than his age 23-30 years? Next you’re going to tell me the sun is the center of the solar system.

  13. Yeti Says:

    “I didn’t say that “HE SUCKS IN THE CLUTCH”.” Except that whole thing when you said “Additionally, because he is such a great performer under “pressure”,” (which was obvious sarcasm)

  14. Pie In The Sky Says:

    You should’ve told Jim Hendry that before the Chicago Tribune and he gave Soriano $136 million right before his 31st birthday. He was a MLB GM and that 31-37 concept wasn’t obvious enough for him.

    Or the Los Angeles Angels, who keep blowing all their money on 31-plus-year-old players. Albert Pujols, Josh Hamilton…

    Or every team who gives huge contracts to players in their 30s, expecting no drop off in production…

    Of course… there are players who were below average to awful before they entered the age 31-37 group. Ryan Vogelsong (2011, age 33-34) and R.A. Dickey (won Cy Young at age 37) are examples.

    Players are very capable in their early and even into their mid-30s. And if they’re not, I’d say most GMs don’t find it as obvious as you do.

  15. Yeti Says:

    Hendry was the GM of the Cubs then but often times, people acknowledge that John McDonough brokered that deal: http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/mlb/columns/story?columnist=greenberg_jon&id=5049949

    “He got that big deal because John McDonough was eager to make a splash as the team president and the Tribune Co. was finally willing to pony up the big bucks, because they knew someone else would pay most of the freight.”

  16. genrebuster Says:

    Regardless of his age, Soriano performed miserably during the 2007 and 2008 playoffs. In fact, he stunk. That’s the point I was making: it’s pretty simple to grasp if you sit with it for a minute. You’re a stat guy, check it out.

  17. jimmy d. Says:

    BOOM!!! 2 pitches and POOF, there goes the W for Villanueva. Way to go Sveum. Marmol must be able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose!!!

  18. jimmy d. Says:

    So far, 7 pitches, 5 balls (1 walk) and 2 strikes (1 for the game tying hit). Hang on folks…this is gonna be great!!!

  19. jimmy d. Says:

    Oh, look! Another walk! Imagine that.

  20. Robert Says:

    Villanueva should be 5-0 ….did u hear Sveum wants to change Rizzo from a .300 hitter with power to a player who hits more hrs with less contact fire that asswipe

  21. jimmy d. Says:

    Marmol gets the “W”…Stat Whores, rejoice!!!

  22. genrebuster Says:

    Marmol blows a 9th inning lead, F. Gregg gets a save….AND the toothpick chomping idiot loses to the lowly Cubs?

    Too much excitement for me……(yawn). It’s going to be a looooong season.

  23. chucky Says:

    Genre….it already has been a long season.

  24. genrebuster Says:

    You said it, chucky.

    I expected things to be a little more advanced than they are (in a positive way). I’m not sure Sveum is the right guy for the job…

    But I’m questioning Theo and Hoyer at this point, too: Gregg….Marmol (I’ll stop there)…..REALLY?

    The one thing I don’t question is Fanboy Ricketts. He is a total douchebag.

  25. chucky Says:

    I’d just like to ask Hoyer why he signed Kevin Fucking Gregg in first place. What did he see in this goddamned hack that made him think the Cubs could use him, or needed him? Gregg sucks on every level there is, and maybe a few that don’t even exist. Yet he signs this idiot to a minor league contract, and in a short amount of time, he’s on the main roster. WHY? If he or Epstein sees any kind of value in Gregg then I have to question their competence. Nobody with an IQ above celery thinks Gregg is worth a fuck. Kevin Gregg is the only guy who can challenge Carlos Marmol for the title of worst closer in Cubs history. This signing should never have happened. Doesn’t anybody understand why he has ping-ponged to different teams so often? It’s not because teams are clamoring for his services. These teams find out in short order how bad he sucks, then they unload his sorry ass. What pisses me off more than anything else is that while this fucking piece of shit is occupying a roster spot, and drawing a severely inflated paycheck, someone else isn’t getting that opportunity. That is absolute fucking bullshit.

  26. Latroy Hawkins Says:

    Teams keep giving me jobs too! Hey. I can do your job but you can’t do mine!

  27. chucky Says:

    “Hey All,

    I’m not sure if you were all familiar with how dominant our “clean up” hitter has been this year, but let me fill you in…he (Sorry Anus) hit his first homerun of the year yesterday against the Rangers. Additionally, because he is such a great performer under “pressure”, that homerun was to drive in his…wait for it….wait for it…first RBI of the season. WOW!!! Clean-up hitter getting his first homer AND first RBI THIRTEEN fucking games into the season. NICE!!!

    Later,
    Jimmy D.”

    Yeti: You understand how guys get RBIs right?

    Yeah, you get up to the plate with runners on second and third and FUCKING STRIKE OUT!!!!!!!

    Keep it up Yeti. You just look more like the dipshit you really are.

SHOW DA FIRE AND PASSION, MY FRENDT!

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