The Bears won. But they still suck! I will tell you why.

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1. Dickface still threw two interceptions in this game. And right to the defenders.

2. Robbie Gould continued to prove that he is overrated and overpaid by missing a field goal and kicking the ball out of bounds on a kickoff.

3. The Bears stopped the Vikings towards the end of the first half with about a minute to go. They call a timeout and get the ball back. Then, they call a running play and let the clock run about 25 seconds. Then, Forte gets another run to midfield. Timeout. Then, Dickface, promptly, throws an interception when everyone knew where the ball was going because the Bears were out of timeouts. It’s clear that Trestman is a dipshit at clock management because this has happened numerous times.

Guess what’s next? That’s right. Lovie Lee Smith and the almighty Tampa Bay Buccaneers come to Soldier Field. Since I couldn’t even give away my tickets for free, I am stuck going to this shit fest. I have a FEELING I will hear a meatball yell “DA BEARS SHOODA NEVER GOTTEN RID OF LOVIE. THE PLAYERS RESPECT HIM”.

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9 Responses to “The Bears won. But they still suck! I will tell you why.”

  1. Fro Dog Says:

    Hey guys. I forgot to add one thing. If the Bears were in the NFC South, they would be in first place.

    Bad. Bad. Bad.

  2. Tony Cossio Says:

    Yeah, i heard that on B and B and had to check it out. Sure enough the Falcons are in first with 4 wins.

    The Bears suck, and they continue to win these scrub games at a cost of a decent draft pick when they should be focusing on drafting a good QB.

  3. Lovie Smith Says:

    I Invited Dusty to the game on Sunday, as my guest. We’re looking forward to seeing all of our Chicago friends!!!

  4. Dusty Baker Says:

    Thanksgiving is just around the corner! Your seat awaits you, dude.

  5. E=mc2 Says:

    Gentlemen: I’ve been conducting experiments in the lab and have come to the conclusion that 1 + 1 can indeed equal 0. This doesn’t occur often; the quality and mass of the grey matter involved has everything to do with it.

    In fact, I am close to reaching a conclusion regarding the possibility of 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 0. Please bear with me as I complete all steps required for validation.

    The calculations used to verify the following statements may lead me to the answer(s):

    1. The angle of the dangle is proportionate to the throb of the knob, provided the urge remains constant.

    2. The heat of the meat is inversely proportional to the angle of the dangle (underneath) and directly proportional to the mass of the ass.’

    Fondly, Albert

  6. Fro Dog Says:

    Albert! You’re back. Don’t be a stranger! Your stats are much better than that other guy we have.

  7. Cubs Bears Sox Suck Says:

    I conducted an experiment once about how beer taste better at the titty bar. I have some interesting notes if you would like to compare.

    Looks like Bill Cosby is a serial rapist! Who knew??

  8. Fro Dog Says:

    I went to a strip club once in my life and it was an awful experience. We went to Diamonds in West Chicago for my birthday in 2010. I know there is the Silver Slipper where you are at. I actually went to high school with a lady who worked there a while back (she’s not that great anyway).

    Just whatever you do, don’t go the “Dirty 30” which is Heartbreakers south of Rochelle.

  9. Cubs Bears Sox Suck Says:

    Ah yes the Silver Slipper Saloon or locally known as “The Shoe Store” a much better establishment then the other local nudy bar… The Lamp Lighter. Now this place is SLEEZY! A week into being 21 some guys from work took me there. They had a lovely woman who would do the splits and pick up coins you flipped up on stage with her woman parts. Until some drunk asshole decided to heat up his coin with a lighter and that woman let out a scream I will never forget. Anyway how bout them Hawks!

SHOW DA FIRE AND PASSION, MY FRENDT!

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