BESAME CULO! (an example of what can happen when a bum hits the jackpot)

by

thanks to jimmyd for the motivation on this one…it’s getting harder and harder for me to give a crap about the ongoing trainwreck known as the Cubs.

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When it REALLY matters, Soriano just hasn’t shown up; it’s no secret. Is the finger for us — the fans — or for Cubs ownership/management? Maybe both.

Possible translation: “Besame culo! I’m going to bat wherever I want…and I’m NOT going to sit on the bench, no matter how poorly I play. I usted es dueño de puta!

…hmmm, seems to me for 136 million dollars — that may not be the correct amount, cue Yeti — the Cubs own Soriano. But this is professional sports, where so many underachievers are excessively overpaid, and then do whatever they want.

That’s why ticket prices are so high. That’s why the price of food and drink at the ballpark is so excessive. This will never change as long as people are willing to pay these prices for shit/for shit/for shit/for shit/for shit (uh oh, broken record).

Many of us here were hoping the Cubs would “blow it up” and start over. That is really what’s needed and if Fanboy — who may be the biggest idiot owner in professional sports judged by his tenure to date — doesn’t get a clue, it could be years before the Cubs rebound from Hendry’s moves. The remnants must go, the time is NOW.

Theo Epstein is an intelligent guy but he can’t snap his fingers and will the Cubs to a World Series Championship.

As for our manager, Dale Sveum….so far, I’m not impressed one bit. Another boring stat geek…instead of letting a promising and talented hitter like Brian LaHair take his swings from both sides on a daily basis — hell, he might improve from his “weak side” given an opportunity to do so in real game situations — he sits the guy and “plays the numbers”. Here’s a number for you, Dale: 1908. Hopefully Sveum will be replaced soon, then he can enjoy his time off  and play the numbers at the race-track.

This is a lost season and we all expected it…so play the most promising kids; what more is there to lose? As for Soriano and other overpaid veterans who don’t produce WHEN IT MATTERS: sit down and shut up…you’re being paid.

What a truly PATHETIC organization. BARF.

12 Responses to “BESAME CULO! (an example of what can happen when a bum hits the jackpot)”

  1. chucky Says:

    Yeah, the only real improvement is that Sveum has stopped the bullshit nicknames. Beyond that, he’s been a retread of the previous numbnuts who have (mis)managed the Cubs.

    And fuck you too, Sorianus.

  2. chucky Says:

    Wasn’t this guy supposed to be a savior or something? Anybody remember that?

    http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2012/06/12/cubs-fire-hitting-coach-jaramillo/

    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yeah, right. I guess not.

  3. Yeti Says:

    I’m no expert, obviously. Not such as yourselves, but I suspect LaHair hitting the bench against lefties might have something to do with his .131 Batting Average in his career against lefties. Pure speculation though. Maybe Dale hates him. Both plausible explanations

  4. chucky Says:

    You’re right. You’re no expert. Since this is supposed to be a “lost season”, why not play him so he might possibly improve against lefties, and, I don’t know, maybe gain some experience against lefties? I haven’t heard any speculation at all that Sveum hates him. To be honest, if he did hate him, would it not make sense to keep LaHair benched regardless of who’s pitching?

    Sounds more “plausible” than you’re explanations. Like you said, you’re no expert.

  5. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    You know…when one’s idea doesn’t work, why keep trying it?

    What do you have to lose if you try something different like putting him up against lefties?

  6. Pie In The Sky Says:

    Honestly, I don’t think that .131 batting average has much to do with it. There’s no way Sveum could make a judgment based on a sample of 61 MLB at-bats.

    I found a website with his minor-league split stats from 2005-10. The “VS. LHP” stats are pretty damn ugly even as far back as A+ for him in 2005. He had one decent year hitting LHP in 2006 but it was only 47 at-bats. LaHair has always destroyed right-handed pitching but for whatever reason is garbage against lefties.

    With that said… I’d still like to see him get more at-bats against LHP even though I’m more convinced now that he’ll keep sucking against them. Not like I care if Jeff Baker loses at-bats.

  7. Pie In The Sky Says:

    I have another problem with Sveum’s handling of LaHair. This past Sunday, the Cubs had a 4-0 with runners on 2nd and 3rd. Jeff Baker hit a sacrifice fly to make it 5-0.

    The problem was that Francisco Liriano was already out of the game. RIGHT-HANDED PITCHER Jared Burton was the reliever at this time. LaHair hadn’t been used yet. Sveum didn’t have to think about pinch-hitting the No. 9 hitter because they were playing with a DH.

    There was no excuse to not use LaHair as the pinch-hitter there. When lefty SP comes OUT, LaHair goes IN against RH-reliever. It didn’t matter in that game. However, it might in future games.

  8. genrebuster Says:

    Yeti. Expert or not (you/me), these comments make sense to me:

    1. Pie In The Sky — Honestly, I don’t think that .131 batting average has much to do with it. There’s no way Sveum could make a judgment based on a sample of 61 MLB at-bats.

    2. Matt Stairs Superfan — You know…when one’s idea doesn’t work, why keep trying it?

    What do you have to lose if you try something different like putting him up against lefties?

    3. Albert Einstein — Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (…that statement applies to the Cubs management)

    I’m not guaranteeing that LaHair is going to blister left-handed pitching given the opportunity to hit it on a regular basis; I’m saying what the hell do the Cubs have to lose – at this point – by giving him the opportunity, for 4 or 5 weeks…

  9. Robert Says:

    Wasnt the signing of jaramillo the equivelant of a high dollar free agent according to moe the next 6 weeks are going to tell a lot about this regime….at the end of july i want dempster garza marmol and soto gone….hell jed already has the yankees red sox and jays bidding for dempster

  10. genrebuster Says:

    Robert, please weigh in on subsequent thread…hehehe

  11. morpheus Says:

    I think Pie in the Sky was saying that the .131 vs, LHP this year is not really part of the decision process, but the persistent awful hitting vs. LHP for many years is what’s driving it. He refers to http://mlsplits.drivelinebaseball.com/mlsplits/playerinfo/445933 in his post. You can see for yourself how bad LaHair has been at all levels; there’s no reason to believe that he can flip a switch or discover some secret hitting technique and change this.

    Some of you probably already know this, but I’ll say it anyway for those who may not. Splits like those are driven by one simple baseball concept, proven time and again by stats geeks and referenced by old-school scouts as well: it is harder to hit a curveball that breaks away from you than one that breaks toward you. This is what drives baseball players to switch hit.

  12. JF Says:

    I look at the LaHair vs lefties issues as….
    1. Who is possibly part of the future? Is it:
    a) LaHair,
    b) Baker
    c) both LaHair and Baker
    d) neither

    2. What are Rizzo’s side results when he’s called up? Is it:
    a) hits both RHPs and LHPs
    b) hits neither
    c) hits RHPs and not LHPs
    d) hits LHPs and not RHPs

    My answers to the 2nd question are b or c. Less likely a. Unlikely d.
    My answers to the 1st question are a or d.

    So, LaHair should get more at bats vs lefties unless they plan on trading him. Once Rizzo is called up they’ll want to see what Rizzo can do.

    Granted, LaHair will probably never hit lefties well. There’s a chance that Rizzo won’t either.

SHOW DA FIRE AND PASSION, MY FRENDT!

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