This Will Be Quick | Football Team 12 Losers 7


1st and goal in the first quarter. Can you run the ball? No. We’ll pass and have the ball intercepted.

4th and goal in the second quarter at the goal line. Can you do a quarterback sneak? No. We’ll try to have a back lined up five yards back.

1st and goal at the 5 with 45 seconds or so left. Can you run the ball? No.

Velus Jones fucked up on a punt return two games ago. Can you stop letting take punts back? No. We’ll let him keep going out there and fumble it again.

Can Luke Getsy go fuck himself? No. He’s going to get a contract extension after this latest abysmal failure.

I fucking hate this franchise. Everyone working at 1920 Football Drive in Lake Forest can go fuck themselves.

18 Responses to “This Will Be Quick | Football Team 12 Losers 7”

  1. Mark Johnson Says:

    Why do I have a sudden desire to buy a big bag of orange Tootsie pops?? Or was that actually the Cleveland Browns out there?
    Is Montgomery hurt? Why Herbert over Montgomery at the goal line.

  2. chucky Says:

    I’m right here Ernie.

    Goddamn, that was coyote ass ugly. How fitting that it happened at home, and on nationwide TV. Seriously, fuck everybody on this team, and everyone associated with them. This team is going nowhere fast. I seriously doubt they can beat Detroit at this point. And with New England, Dallas, and Miami looming, this team is fucked. And to top it all off, there’s no Hamp and OB tonight because of the goddamned Blackhawks. Fuck it all, I’ve fucking goddamn had it with this fucking bullshit!

    I’m out.

  3. dvxprime Says:

    How the hell did the Bears run up 280+ yards rushing, and they can’t get a rushing TD on first and goal inside the 5?

    Did I say I was watching QVC2? Seriously, fuck trying to set up Amazon Prime to watch this shit. God alone knows how this matchup was deemed TV-worthy.

  4. dvxprime Says:

    The Black hawks better fucking win tonight. Dammit. Now I have to go to bed.

  5. Fro Dog Says:

    The Blackhawks have been shit this entire second period. Down 1-0.

  6. John Says:

    These are the type of losses that absolutely grind your gears. The Bears had this one. They could have had it in the bag. They should have had it in the bag. If they were any sort of good team, they WOULD have had it in the bag! But instead they gave it away as they always do. I really thought the Bears would be able to win this one. They didn’t. And even had they won they would still be trash. Before this game, my prediction was that following this win the Bears would go on a 14 game losing streak to close out the season, seeing just how overpowered all of the other teams they’ll be playing are. But it appears instead that they will end the season with a 17 game losing streak. I really don’t think the Bears can win another game this season. They are a dumpster fire that’s as bad as the 2016 team, who were an even greater dumpster fire by 2014, 2015, 2017, and 2021 standards. They are atrocious and painfully horrific. Sheesh, even the 2016 Bears had a better offense than this.

    Well, you know what, I hope that the Bears do go on a 17 game losing streak because they need a good tank. For too long the Bears have been sitting in the mediocre purgatory where they are neither good enough to win the division nor bad enough to get some top tier draft picks. That is, if they don’t bungle them.

    Yep. Ryan Pace really drafted some busts. Their top picks in the 2015, 2016, and 2017 drafts . . . not good. You can’t build good teams if you mess up your first-rounders.

  7. Fro Dog Says:

    Well, seeing as there are 17 games in a season and the Bears were 2-1, it would actually be a 14-game losing streak. But who’s counting?

  8. John Says:

    Well, the Cowboys will have a nice bye week in a couple. Maybe they can even pull their first string by halftime. And if the Pats can shut out the red-hot Lions offense, you can be sure that the Bears won’t even get a first down. I sure hope Tua is healthy by the time the Dolphins come to play, so he can demonstrate his superiority . . . amid a compelling return from a serious injury. Oh, and as for beating us? That’s a footnote.

    Pats W 27-0
    Cowboys W 42-10 (Dak’s fantasy points go boom)
    Dolphins W 20-13
    Lions W 31-17
    Falcons W 26-23 (OT)
    Jets W 30-24
    Packers W 38-14
    Eagles W 31-10
    Bills W 41-18
    Lions W 27-17
    Vikings W 20-16 (assuming they aren’t resting their starters for the playoffs)

    Yes! Swept by the NFC North! 2-15

    Postseason press conference: “I think we made some good progress this season and we’ll do better next year.” Oh, I’m sorry. That’s what they said back at the end of the 2015 season.

  9. Skip Says:

    Just pathetic , but no one should be shocked because all we’ve seen under the McCaskeys is what you see now ,a fucking joke of a football team !!! We will NEVER see anything else as long as the Cluster fuck McCaskeys own the team !

  10. John Says:

    If anybody is looking for good news, I’ve been reviewing Justin Fields’s stats. He’s actually not too bad. His rushing total from last season (420 yards) was actually only a yard shy of Trubisky’s yardage in his best year in 2018 (and Trubisky had a far better roster accompanying him than Fields had in 2021). And Fields has already tied Trubisky’s rushing totals from 2019 and 2020, and is only about fifty yards removed from Trubisky’s entire 2017 rushing total. Fields’s passer rating from last year was 58.9 and he threw for 1,870 yards. Trubisky’s passer rating from his rookie year in 2017 was 59.4 and he threw for 2,193 yards. However, Fields actually played two games less than Trubisky did in 2017, so that could explain Trubisky’s slight advantage. And they each in their rookie seasons threw seven touchdown passes, but Fields did throw three more interceptions than Trubisky.

    We’re going to lose every other game in the rest of our season, for sure, but we might also see Fields’s passing ability emerge. If it improves from last year, that could be a sign of progress that his drafting is at least a step in the right direction. The problem then could be the offensive line and the lack of good wide receivers.

    For reference, his rushing totals, at least, are comparable to Russell Wilson in his rookie season, but he’s a couple hundred yards less strident than Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson were in their rookie seasons.

    This is why we need to tank this season. So we can draft some heavy wide receivers.

  11. Skip Says:

    John , the Bears will be drafting yet another Qb in the first round next year and with their track record they’ll pick the wrong guy again !!

  12. chucky Says:

    John, the only reason Fields’ rushing yards are so high is because he’s running for his life. This is a good/bad stat to have. And in this case, it’s a bad stat. A really bad stat. So, just keep that in mind. I know you’re looking for something positive, and I appreciate that, but that kind of philosophy will get us nowhere fast. Remember Lovie Smith was always looking for the positives. When you do that, you don’t focus enough on the things that need attention. And this team needs A LOT of attention.

  13. Fro Dog Says:

    What’s worse is that everyone on the radio is saying that the reason why this team isn’t winning is because of a lack of talent. “Fields doesn’t have the receivers. He doesn’t have an offensive line!”

    While the fact that he doesn’t have a decent line, that is no excuse for the idiotic play-calling that has cost this team three games already this season. It’s fourth and goal at the one. SNEAK IT IN. It isn’t that fucking difficult. It worked right before that in a drive. What’s the difference?

    First and goal at the five with 50 seconds or whatever left. Why call four straight pass plays? RUN THE BALL. That’s not a lack of talent. That’s bad play-calling.

    That’s all on the head coach and idiotic offensive coordinator.

  14. chucky Says:

    Fro, I’m seriously beginning to wonder why and how some of these radio asswipes get their knowledge, or should say non-knowledge about sports. Some of these jerk-offs have as much business talking sports as I do running the Pentagon, or doing brain surgery. It’s fucking insane.

  15. Fro Dog Says:


    I must say, the one who annoyed me the most with the excuses was David Kaplan on NBC Sports Chicago last night after the game. He constantly complained about the Bears not winning because they didn’t have great players on the team.

    Again, a coach’s job is to put the team in a position to succeed. Passing it on four straight plays to lose the game on the final drive is not putting the team in a position to succeed. It was stupid.

    And don’t sell yourself too short on your work ethic. You are more than qualified to run the Pentagon!

  16. Fro Dog Says:

    Also, I meant to show you this the other day. But I bought this pipe last week and thought of you as I was getting it. It’s a nice and sturdy bowl for all the great herb out there.

  17. chucky Says:

    Fro, that is quite an honor, good sir! Very awesome! Somehow, I feel like I’ve been immortalized.

    Speaking of my namesake, have you seen “my” new show on the SYFY/USA networks? I actually thought a TV show about Chucky was going to suck, but I have to admit, I like it. And just think, in two weeks, I get to kill Liv Morgan! Dude, how cool is that?

  18. Fro Dog Says:

    I haven’t watched the show. But I’ve heard from others it’s great. I just am pretty busy and don’t have much time to watch TV unless it’s a game or some wrestling these days. Not only do you get your own show, but now you have your own pipes and bongs!


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