What was I thinking when……..(?)

anybody home?

anybody home?

Ladies and gentlemen, your thoughts. Consider this an “open” Cubs thread.

12 Responses to “What was I thinking when……..(?)”

  1. DVXPrime Says:

    Hey, everybody. I know this is just a cut and paste from an older thread. Here’s the deal: I’m really fucking sick of Major League Baseball. Run by a used car salesman, douchebags in the TV booth (Joe Buck), money grubbing assholes posing as owners (JEFFREY. FUCKING. LORIA), steroids, A-Rod unable or unwilling to help the Yanks get a World Series ring because he’s a raging famewhore, Astros in the AL, sabremetric stat geeks on TV who are micromanaging and anal-raping the fun out of the sport…

    …oh, yeah, and Season 105 without a World Seies win has 100 losses written all over it.

    The Cubs open their 100th season at Wrigley tomorrow. In protest of the massive farce that the Chicago Cubs, and MLB in general, has become, I offer this futile and really stupid gesture in protest:

    ear Theo,

    In light of the retiring of Kerry Wood, I know I am not alone in saying the Cubs never should have given in to the fanboy mentality and should not have re-signed him in the first place. His performance during the Cubs’ first month-plus did nothing to move this team forward.

    It is hoped that you are going to do everything possible to start stockpiling talent and signing only one or two key veterans (w/o breaking the bank) that will eventually build the Chicago Cubs into a legitimate World Series contender. In the short term, may I suggest that you and whichever Ricketts family member is running the Cubs and have a long talk about changing the losing culture of this franchise.

    An article in the Tribune (Sun-Times? Blog? Not sure at this point) painted an accurate Reader’s Digest version of WTF is wrong with the Cubs: for decades, the powers that be at Wrigley have marketed the Cubs as a classic baseball experience, and more recently as “The Loveable Losers”. Meanwhile, expansion franchises in Arizona and Florida (TWICE) have World Series banners, our eternal arch-rivals from St Louis have won their last two World Series as Wild Card ntrants…and Chicago’s two entries in professional soccer have won three league championships in the last 30 years that I have been a Cubs fan.

    The on-field performances will get better through shrewd drafting, trading, and free-agent signings; in the meantime, it is time to send a message to those within the Cubs organization and our rivals, critics and observers without:


    1) All the statues around Wrigley Field are monuments to noble failure. All their years of faithful service, and the Cubs could never build a World Series team around them. Remove them, ASAP.

    2) The celebrities singing the seventh inning stretch? That needs to end, also ASAP. Harry Caray is long dead. If Major League Soccer fans can sing the National Anthem en masse (and a capella) before the start of games, Cubs fans can sing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” en masse to the accompaniment of the organist.

    3) Ronnie Woo Woo needs to go away. Do it with dignity if possible and feasible, get him a job or put him an home. Homeless men fame-whoring themselves as Cub fans in not cool. Not anymore.

    4) “Go, Cubs, Go”? See #2.

    5) Wrigley Field needs to step into the twenty-first century. Burn down the ivy and put up rubber and/or foam padding on the outfield walls. Modern scoreboards. Modern restroom facilities that can be maintained on a regular basis so fans won’t have to “hold it” for three hours. The quaint touches to Wrigley make it look like Major League Baseball has passed the Cubs by (see: Arizona/Florida/St Louis). This will be controversial, but tear up the bleachers and put in actual seats. No more drunken fans brawling or garbage strewn, pigeon filled empty bleachers.

    6) Controversy time: Wrigley Field needs to be seriously renovated or replaced. But whatever you do, don’t even think about trying to extort the City of Chicago and/or the State of Illinois for the money unless you can guarantee in writing that you can build a World Series winner within five to ten years. Reason a) Illinois is fucking broke, and the state doesn’t have the money to operate, much less pay for “breads and circuses”. Reason b) Too many owners in too many sports pull bullshit like this: taking the people’s money, charging expensive ticket prices, then pocketing the money instead of putting a championship contender on the field (looking at you, Cincinnati Bengals). Try to raise some money by selling bonds to private investors for the money…sell some to those bastards at TribuneCo in exchange for the TV rights.

    7) Lastly, tell the Ricketts family to stay the fuck out of the spotlight until the Cubs get their hands on the W/S Trophy. From “Undercover Boss” to the recent SuperPAC flap, they have just been one embarrassment after another. No one wants to see the owners make fools of themselves while the home team loses 20-0 to the Astros. The Ricketts need to just sit down, shut up, and sign checks. End of discussion.

    8) Cancel the damned Cubs Conventions until we win the World Series. It is a massive shame upon the rest of Cubs Nation for the organization to trot out the Cubs has-beens and never-weres, a bunch of utility players who will be back in AAA before May, coupled with the propaganda merchants running the club, just so a bunch of thirty-something meatballs and their kids can make public asses of themselves.

    Bottom line: It is time for someone to say, “We are the Chicago Cubs, and we are back to being a Major League Baseball team”.

    That someone is YOU, Mister Epstein.

    Forward, march. Go Cubs.

  2. MadCityMac Says:

    DVX, fucking outstanding! I honestly can’t add anything to what you said!

  3. MadCityMac Says:

    Nice to see that Sveum finally took the closer’s role away from that twatwaffle Marmol. After watching the Brewer-DBacks game at one of my favorite local watering holes today, I’m convinced “Marmol” is Spanish for “Axford”, another useless piece of shit closer who should be fucking pumping gas for a living.

  4. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    DVX…Brilliant! You want to know the best way to generate money without asking the government for it? Here’s an idea…WIN BASEBALL GAMES. I know they haven’t done that in over a century but hey…wishful thinking!

  5. chucky Says:

    DVX…..Well done. My compliments sir.

  6. Yeti Says:

    Well done at copying and pasting.

  7. chucky Says:

    Go fuck yourself Yeti. It’s still way more than your dumb ass is capable of doing.

  8. Matt Stairs Superfan Says:

    Yeti…do you ever bring anything insightful here? Your points are pointless. Do you also realize that we’ve lost four straight and haven’t won since Marmol’s implosion on Saturday?

  9. genrebuster Says:

    Pointless points is right. At the very least, a sense of humor would help.

    Yeti’s contributions here – I know, that’s a stretch – have become as PATHETIC as the Cubs…poor baby.

    DVX, great post. Your cutting & pasting skills are appreciated.

  10. genrebuster Says:

    From the archives…one of many very entertaining threads!


  11. Yeti Says:

    Yes, I realize “we” have lost 4 straight

  12. DVXPrime Says:

    Found this gem from robert in the “I’m Tired” thread…Sooo nice to know that the Chicago Cubs planned to be losers from the start:

    n the days before each big league team owned farm teams, every minor league club was run independently. Major League scouts would simply check out all the minor league clubs looking for the best players, and it was up to the minor league team owner to “sell” his players for the best offer. For instance, read here how the owner of San Francisco Seals begged the Cubs to buy Joe DiMaggio (photo).

    One of the first teams to realize they could better control the situation by owning their own minor league teams was the St. Louis Cardinals. One of the last teams to realize this was the Chicago Cubs. By 1940, the Cardinals owned 32 minor league teams. The Cubs owned zero. Between 1940 and 1968 the Cardinals won the World Series five times. I don’t need to tell you how many the Cubs won.

    When his baseball people finally convinced PK Wrigley (photo) to buy some farm teams, he insisted that all of the teams be financially independent and run like a business. He was much more concerned about how much money the farm teams were earning than the quality of players they provided to the big league club. Therefore, when the best Cubs prospects developed, they were offered up to the highest bidder…even though they were Cubs prospects. The Cubs lost dozens of prospects to teams who were willing to pay more for Cubs players than Wrigley was.

    But even after he realized this wasn’t a prudent course of action, Wrigley still didn’t invest the kind of money necessary to make the farm system helpful to the big league club.

    The Cubs had the smallest staff of scouts in baseball, and they had virtually no instructors in the minor leagues. In the late 40s and the 1950s, they had exactly one minor league pitching coach…a roaming instructor who went from team to team. The results were predictable. Between Bob Rush (who wasn’t even that good) in the late 40s and Ken Holtzman (photo) in 1965, the Cubs didn’t produce a single quality starting pitcher from their farm system. Those twenty seven years (1948-1967) just so happens to coincide with the worst teams in Chicago baseball history.

    In addition to that, until Wid Mathews was hired as GM in 1950, the Cubs didn’t have anyone in the minor leagues teaching fundamentals to the position players. Mathews finally hired Rogers Hornsby, who had been one of the greatest hitters of all-time, but he couldn’t teach at all. He couldn’t understand why everyone wasn’t as naturally great as he was.

    Throughout the 1950s the Cubs had the worst minor league system in baseball. They didn’t like to pay big bonuses, and when they did, they sent those bonus babies into a farm system that didn’t train them. The play ers that did make it (Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Ron Santo), fell into their laps out of sheer luck.

    Other teams tried to sign Ernie Banks, but he was loyal to his Negro League team, the Kansas City Monarchs. The only reason he went with the Cubs was because his manager Buck O’Neil advised him to do it–and Banks trusted O’Neil. It’s doubtful that either O’Neil or Banks realized that the Cubs only wanted him because they needed another black player to room with their only black player (Gene Baker) on the road.

    Ron Santo was offered much more money by other teams, but he signed with the Cubs anyway because he felt loyalty to the only Cubs scout on the West Coast; the first person that discovered him. The Reds offered Santo $80,000. The Cubs offer was insulting by comparison ($20,000), but he took it anyway out of loyalty. Billy Williams was so painfully shy that he had to be talked into playing baseball…and almost quit before he reached the big leagues.

    So why have the Cubs gone 100 years without winning a World Series? Geez…I don’t know. Must be bad luck, right?


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: