Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Ben Johnson

As you may have noticed, we haven’t had much activity going around on here, the darkest corner of the internet. It’s been a busy few weeks for me.

The Blackhawks are doing their thing on the ice as well as off the ice. It’s great to see an old friend in Andrew Ladd return. If only the Blackhawks would have brought back Dustin Byfuglien and the meatballs would have been in a frenzy. Oh well. Good win by them as well against the Capitals this past Sunday. That was a close one.

The Bulls continue to be a tire fire and will remain that way for the next decade. I think most of us NBA fans are aware that the Warriors are what the Bulls were in the 90’s. They may very well win five or six in a row. As of this writing, they are one win ahead of the pace of the 1995-96 Bulls for the best record in an NBA regular season. I never thought I would see a team get close to that mark.

Last, but not least, the Bears still have Ted Phillips employed. That fucking sucks. But hey, Alshon Jeffery is coming back with the franchise tag. Let’s pray the Bears don’t fuck it up by letting him go after next season.

Your thoughts as always, are welcome below.

As some of you may have noticed, things have been a bit slow here at the darkest corner of the internet. It usually is this way after the football season because the Bears suck so bad, the amount of down time increases and thus, gives me less motivation to write.

Today, I finally decided to get to something I have been wanting to write about for a while. We had a tournament of Chicago babes in 2013. It was fantastic and generated conversation of some of the various ladies we get to see on Chicago television. After a year off, I organized another one and thought the choices were great.

It seems, though, that when have we these tournaments, bad things happen to the contestants. I called it the curse of Chicago TV babes. From getting married to fired and/or leaving Chicago completely, it has made yours truly, a very sad man. After looking at the two tournaments, you can see for yourself how awful this has been. So after looking at this list, do we have another tournament? Do we have it with less contestants or just not one at all? Weigh in with your thoughts.

2013 (12 of 16 contestants)

Cheryl Scott (champion) – Left NBC 5 for ABC 7; thrown into rumors of a now, former player of the Chicago Blackhawks

Susannah Collins (runner-up) – Fired for a slip-up on the air in regards to the Blackhawks

Jen Lada (Both 2013 and 2015) – Left Comcast SportsNet for ESPN (ANGRY)

Erin McElroy – Married Demetrius Ivory

Alicia Roman – Married a douche

Kate Sullivan – Fired

Krystle Gutierrez – Left

Daniella Guzman – Left

Kerry Sayers – MIA

Anna Davlantes – No longer on TV (Went to WGN Radio)

Lauren Jiggetts (Both 2013 and 2015) – Married and had a child

Kim Vatis – Left

2015 (5 of 16 contestants)

Brooke Weisbrod – Left

Erin Kennedy (runner-up) – Pregnant (again)

Lyndsay Petruny (winner) – Left (ANGRY)

Who do you have for the Super Bowl?

https://firejohnfox.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/tanks-fer-nuttin/

Our good friend Dan from Fire Ron Turner received a letter from Ted Phillips the other day. You can see that in the link above for the full story. It turns out, Ted is telling all of the fans that he and the Bears are sorry for sucking again. But no worries says Teddy. The Bears are going to do their best by raising ticket prices 10 fucking percent this year. You’re telling me that my $200 seats are going to cost $220 this year? These fuckers keep raising prices for a franchise that continues to lose double-digit games every season? Oh, that’s just fucking awesome.

PATHETIC.

The Super Bowl is now set with the Denver Broncos going up against the Carolina Panthers. And with these two teams in the final game of the season, I will point out some ways it’s tied to decisions that the Bears have made over the course of the last decade.

Lovie Smith fires Ron Rivera for his friend, Bob Babich. Babich goes on to suck for the Bears and since, they have been in a realm of irrelevancy. Rivera, on the other hand, goes to Carolina, builds a team over the course of several years and is now, in the Super Bowl.

Lovie and offensive dumbass, Mike Martz, decide that Greg Olsen is no longer needed on their team. The Bears trade Olsen to the Panthers. Olsen now has a chance to win a Super Bowl.

And last, but not least, what do these two teams have in common?

Both have fired John Fox, who currently coaches the Chicago Bears. And both of his replacements are in this game.

I only pray that history is on our side as fans of the Bears.

Championship Sunday is upon us in the NFL. And yet, it’s another one without the Bears in it. Who do you have winning?

Also, for you WRASSLIN’ fans, it’s the Royal Rumble as well that night. The Road To Wrestlemania officially begins. It will be a busy Sunday night with that, football and the Blackhawks all going on at the same time.

As it usually goes when both teams are playing, I am always switching back and forth between the Bulls and Blackhawks. It drives me nuts at times because I tend to miss something when I switch. Last night, I was at it again.

The Bulls, seemingly playing well after back-to-back pants-shitting performances, did it again with their third straight loss. Zero defense, shitty free throw shooting and too many damn turnovers. Sound familiar?

Once again, let me say that Hoiberg is still a million times better than ThomASS. The Bulls still have a better chance of winning games now than they did with the previous moron. These horseshit performances are on the players.

It isn’t fucking hard to guard somebody. I feel like I am talking about the Bears with that sentence but this goes for the Bulls as well.

The Bulls win six in a row and are chasing the Cavaliers for first place and all of a sudden, they lose three in a row in shitty fashion. How the fuck does this keep happening? Most of their wins look great but all of their losses look shitty. It’s one thing for them to lose a game and it’s another to lose it without even looking like they’re trying.

Oh and that dumbass Joakim Noah is back. Maybe he has something to do with it? This current three-game losing streak started when this moron came back. Bobby Portis can’t see the court again because of it and he’s a million times better.

Because of the lack of the defense the entire season, I am already exhausted from this team 37 games into it. Is Mel Tucker employed in Chicago again? I don’t fucking get it. Everybody on the other team seems to be open under the basket and at the top of the key. It’s driving me fucking insane.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000618589/article/tampa-bay-buccaneers-fire-lovie-smith

Watch, another horrible franchise will hire him. My money is on the Eagles. Those fans deserve him.

What a game. Dick face throws three interceptions. The defense can’t stop anybody. And the difference between last year’s team and this year’s? One more win. That’s all that matters, right? A win is a win and a loss is a loss in the NFL. The Bears were one game better than last year.

This post will be dedicated to one of the few Chicago Bear players that has actually been likable over the course of the last decade: Matt Forte.

Drafted in 2008, he was an instant fan favorite. Frequent dumbass, Cedric Benson kept getting arrested. The Bears mercifully released him in Spring of that year, which lead to Forte getting drafted and becoming the starter.

This guy never bitched. And he had many opportunities to do so because of the franchise he was playing for. No matter what, he worked hard and was the best player on this team every time he put the uniform on. There wasn’t a bad thing to say about him.

Watching him play for the Bears has been one of the few good things to see over these years. With Jeremy Langford and Ka’Deem Carey doing very well in his absence earlier in the year, it appears that the Forte will be out the door, barring a miracle. I will understand why he may not be back. It’s a young man’s league and at Forte’s age, the salary cap is a factor and with two running backs who are much younger on the roster, it makes sense.

We should all thank Matt Forte for the memories if he is indeed, gone.