Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Ben Johnson

This is going to be short as I have things to do. I’ll chime in with comments later on tonight or tomorrow when I calm down.

It didn’t have to be this difficult. All the Bears had to do was score another touchdown at some point during the third quarter. But as it goes with them, a full 60 minutes never happens. And when it looks like they are about to pull away, a dipshit like Mario Edwards Jr. decides to make it interesting. Fuck this asshole. Thankfully, the offense did just enough getting two field goals late in the game to put it away.

Offense: Hey, Damien Williams and Khalil Herbert provided a nice one-two punch. The Bears actually ran the ball with consistency again. What a crazy concept. Run the ball and eat up the clock to keep the defense rested. Genius, I tell you! Fields made a couple of passes that nearly made me shit myself. But, he did just enough.

Defense: After that one drive seeing the Raiders march down only to get a field goal, I thought that was going to be the peak for them today. But they held down the fort. And here’s a shocker: they didn’t allow late points before halftime or the end of the game. Progress? Don’t bet on it.

Special Teams: Cairo Santos. What else can you say? He’s one of the few guys on this team that is actually doing their job. He hit two BIG field goals of 46 and 45 late in the game to seal it.

Next up are the Packers at home. Unfortunately, they tried giving the game away to the Bengals and they replied with “no, thanks.” This game next week is for first place in the division.

Wrap your head around that. Also, fuck Mario Edwards Jr.

Just tell us which McDonald’s you’re working at so we can avoid that one. I don’t want barbecue sauce packets with my Chicken McNuggets when I clearly asked for ranch.

What a horrendous fucking game. How much worse could this have been if the Bears played a better team? The Lions shot themselves in the foot several times and the Bears barely escaped this. The defense was fucking awful the entire game.

And even worse, David Montgomery is probably out for the season with a torn ACL. The Bears were FINALLY running the ball consistently and this happens. Just awful. He’s one of the few likeable players on the team.

Offense: Okay, fuck Matt Nagy. 2nd and short before halftime and a pass play that gets tipped for an interception happens. What was wrong with running the ball to get the first down? As far as Justin Fields is concerned, it’s a very bad sign when he’s already fumbled the ball several times this year for turnovers or huge losses. I have zero faith in any of these coaches to teach him to hold the ball close when on the running. And even when he’s in the pocket, any type of hit and the ball is out of his fans. This is a huge red flag.

I can’t complain about Darnell Mooney. He made some big catches today. Allen Robinson did the same.

Defense: Did I mention they were awful the entire game? They let the Lions get in the red zone three straight possessions to start the game. And thankfully, a botched snap, a turnover on downs and a fumble all happened and the Bears dodged that. If another team is doing that, those are all scoring plays. Thankfully, Lions’ head coach Dan Campbell is just as stupid as Matt Nagy.

Cover your receivers. Such an easy concept and yet, so difficult to comprehend. We saw it all day with the Bears. Blown coverages and just wandering around clueless is what this defense does. I don’t care how many times Jared Goff was sacked. The secondary for this team isn’t even qualified to work at a Taco Bell. COVER YOUR FUCKING RECEIVERS YOU WORTHLESS FUCKS.

Special Teams: Cairo Santos did his job.

Next up are the Raiders in Las Vegas. Your thoughts in the thread.

As the clock strikes midnight on the day after one of the worst Bears’ games in the last several years (that’s a sad statement), where is George McCaskey? Ryan Pace and Matt Nagy are still employed as of this writing. George needs to do what’s best for this team and can these idiots.

Or is George too busy threatening The City of Chicago to fix Soldier Field or else, he’s going to take his sack of shit football team to the shitbox known as Arlington Heights?

And for the record, if people think getting to Soldier Field is a motherfucker, wait until they end up in Arlington Heights. I see a three-hour drive just to get there compared to the 50 minutes it takes me to to get to Soldier Field. Fuckers.

HEY GEORGE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO SOMETHING!

I’m getting this done early. What’s the point of not tackling? What’s the point of always giving up points before halftime? Seriously. That’s been a problem for this team for years. What’s the point of always giving up big plays on third down? Again, an issue that’s been going on for years.

What’s the point of not running the ball on second and one? That happened today. What’s the point of protecting the quarterback?

Oh, that’s right. Ryan Pace can’t find one offensive lineman out of the thousands of players out there.

Can someone help?

Bears vs. Browns this Sunday. Justin Fields is starting. How will this go?

And if anyone else cares, the Blackhawks just started training camp. We’ll see how that goes.

Your thoughts are welcome.

I’m glad this thing is over. When it was 20-3, I knew very well that the game wasn’t even close to being done. A few blinks and what do you know? The Bengals get within three. Fuck. I am going to be all over the place with this recap.

Make no mistake about it, the entire game shifted with that idiotic act by Robert Quinn. We’ll get back to this scam artist in a bit. The Bears escaped a disaster and they guarantee themselves at least a share of first place going into Week Three.

Offense: The first drive of the game, Dalton drove the Bears right down the field for a touchdown. That was great to see. A couple drives later, Dalton gets hurt on what appeared to be a non-contact injury. Insert Justin Fields. And then the offense became inconsistent. I don’t know how a defense can gift the team two turnovers (not counting the pick six) and only turn it into six points in the last quarter. This was fucking atrocious. Allen Robinson drops a sure touchdown that could have made it a three touchdown game. Fields throws an interception that made this game even closer than it should have been. That’s on Nagy for not calling a run to force the Bengals to either waste a timeout or run off 40 more seconds.

This offensive line fucking sucks. They are undisciplined. Too many penalties and they weren’t in rhythm. And thankfully, Fields did just enough to put this game away.

Defense: I already said the Bears could have easily controlled this game with no shot of the Bengals making a comeback. First, Robert Quinn had a late hit on Joe Burrow (on a 3rd and 19) that would have given the ball back. It was 7-0 and thankfully, it was only a field goal. That could have been the turning point to this whole thing. Then, after the defense did everything they can to put the game away in the fourth, they shit themselves in a matter of two minutes by letting the Bengals throw a bomb for a touchdown. 20-10. After that interception Fields, it was two straight plays for touchdowns. I’m shocked the Bengals weren’t throwing down the field the entire game because the Rams did it with ease. They play great for 95% of the game and the other 5%, complete shit. The drizzling shits. COVER. YOUR. RECEIVERS.

Special teams: Cairo Santos did his job with two field goals. The last one was the game-winner.

The Bears take on the Browns next week. I am going to need an oxygen tank.

Bears vs. Bengals this Sunday

It’s not that the Bears will lose. But rather, how will they lose?

Your predictions in the thread.

I’ve checked out. Your thoughts in the thread.

Former Cubs Lefty Mike Montgomery Charged at an Ump and Hit Him With a Rosin Bag