Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Ben Johnson

A few words from Joe Maddon….

http://www.foxsports.com/mlb/video/joe-maddon-i-m-not-afraid-to-put-anyone-in-101116

…so, my brother is at the game…$25 for a double Bulleit bourbon seems a little steep to me; maybe I’m spoiled. Also, they apparently didn’t have any Cubs cups on hand…

Here we go, my frendts…hang on.

!

A rare evening where I’ve been able to watch most of the game. It’s been a good one. Cubs got to Bumgarner early via Arrieta’s blast, but they’ve squandered other opportunities.

Strop on the mound (what would chucky do?). More later.

I am going to try to make this as short as possible since I am pissed off right now.

Connor Barf: Missed field goal. But wait. A running into the kicker penalty. Another chance to get points. Then, another miss! Oh, man. The Bears really replaced Robbie Gould there. Go eat a bag of dicks, Connor.

Vic Fangio: Hey you, Mr. Defensive Genius. Your defense didn’t look like a defense in the first half. Then, that touchdown drive in the 4th that Luck did with ease. You sir, are an impostor. Oh, your defense did get a lot of sacks today. Too bad the Colts drove down the field with ease to get into field goal range. Go eat a bag of dicks, Vic.

TOO MANY PENALTIES.

Brian Hoyer: Okay, dude. Three straight games with over 300 yards passing. Mr. Hoyer was the second quarterback in franchise history to throw over 300 yards in three straight games. The first one? Josh McCown. Wow. This franchise really fucking sucks. To have a history going back 80-something years and only two quarterbacks to do this is quite PATHETIC. But hey, Hoyer really did everything he could to help the team win today. Likewise with Jordan Howard. At the end, another penalty and bad execution fucked away this chance at the end. Hoyer shall remain the starter.

Cameron Meredith: Nice Touchdown. Then, nice fumble. Go eat a bag of dicks, Cameron.

Oh, and fuck Connor Barth.

Next up, the Bears will continue their quest for a top 5 pick in next year’s draft against the Jaguars. If anybody wants to throw in predictions on how the Bears will somehow, fuck this one up, feel free.

http://www.espn.com/blog/statsinfo/post/_/id/124833/why-the-cubs-wont-win-the-world-series

Well, that’s just fucking great. First Kyle Fuller and now, Kevin White is out for the season with a broken leg. Are we keeping track? This is just another name on the long lists of first-round busts that the Bears have had throughout the last two decades.

I get it. It’s a freak injury. White was playing well the last two games. I was excited to see him play. But, this is just enough. Only one player that I can think of that has been an actual success and that’s Kyle Long and he’s going to need surgery soon for his torn labrum.

It’s the new NFL with all of these injuries all over the place. But is this something the Bears do more than other teams by drafting busts nearly every year in the first round? This is getting annoying.

Can the Chicago Bears please, find a front office that can be competent and find players that can contribute for the next decade? Is it that fucking hard? Why do teams draft franchise players after the Bears in various rounds? Why do the Bears continuously pass on guys that are supposed to go before them?

If someone can answer all of this, please let me know.

*Before I get to the recap, I want to send out a thanks to Carl and Dan from Fire Ron Turner for providing me with some delicious food in the South Lot and a fun time overall. Our friend Carl left for a new job in Portland and flew back to Chicago for this game. Those are two of the really good guys and go visit their website.*

Today, it was a complete team effort. This isn’t me being a pessimist, but we all know that there is usually one game a year where the Bears actually play four full quarters of quality football. Today was that was game of the year.

Connor Barf: For the love of God, will this guy just go away? The purpose of cutting Robbie Gould was to find someone BETTER than him. Connor Barf can go eat a bag of dicks. He completely pissed all over a drive in the first half by missing a field goal with virtually, no wind blowing at all. It was so bad, people around me were chanting, “Robbie. Robbie”. You know the kicker sucks when fans are chanting for the shitty kicker before him to return.

Brian Hoyer: Hey, I give credit where credit is due. One fan next to me told me he said the same shit about Hoyer in the preseason as I did. Two games in a row, he’s been average to above average. He’s spread the ball around. He doesn’t hold onto the ball too long and he made sure the offense was balanced. This is what a quarterback is supposed to do. He had over 300 yards passing and was very accurate in his passes. I was shocked, but happy. The line protected him, too. If I am the idiot head coach, I stay with Hoyer until he plays like shit. The season is already lost, so keep going with this guy to see what he can do in the long run.

Jordan Howard: The rookie seems to be doing just fine starting in place of Jeremy Langford. He had 111 rushing yards on 23 carries. In addition, 3 catches on 21 yards. He was a big part of the game. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Keep this guy starting with Joique Bell backing him up.

Eddie Royal: There was one amazing pass from Hoyer right to Royal for a big first down, I believe, in the second half. Eddie Royal was another major contributor to this win with 111 yards. Kevin White also had a pretty good game, but ended up getting hurt. Let’s pray it’s nothing serious.

Defense: If someone can tell me the last time a Bears defense didn’t give up a touchdown in a game, please let me know. I can be certain that it’s been quite a few years. The Bears stuffed the Lions at the goal line in the 3rd quarter that resulted in a field goal instead. Of course, the Lions receivers ran wrong routes that resulted in two interceptions at crucial times helped tremendously. But it’s still a big game for them. Those interceptions were courtesy of second-year guy Jacoby Glenn and rookie Deiondre’ Hall.

Special teams: See Connor Barf; Also, fuck the special teams on that punt return touchdown at the two-minute warning in the 4th. The Bears didn’t give up a touchdown until that. Thankfully, the Lions still sucked on the onside-kick. That’s the only blemish on this day.

The Bears take their 1-3 record three hours south to face the Colts next Sunday.

I am done with this shit. It’s not even funny how this season has started. The Bears look like a high school team going up against the #1 ranked college team in the country.

I already was going to go with this recap before the Cowboys scored the last touchdown. This is fucking atrocious. The Bears went three and out on their two drives while the Cowboys were a shitty non-call away from being up 21-0.

FUCK THIS ENTIRE CHICAGO BEARS FRANCHISE. FUCK THEM ALL.