Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Ben Johnson

Well, it wasn’t the most exciting game in the second half. But I don’t give a damn how the Bears win. Eddie Jackson had the game of his life and combine that with the rest of the defense, sCam Newton found his face in the dirt quite a bit.

Eddie Jackson: What a game for the rookie. He scored the only touchdowns on the day and in amazing fashion. A fumble return for a touchdown as well as a pick six on a deflection.

Kyle Fuller: He deserves a ton of credit for the last two games. He came to play again today. This is his contract year and I just wonder if he were to re-sign, if this would keep up. But, he was pretty damn good today. And in these last two games, the defense has actually done exactly what I’ve been screaming for all these years: COVERING RECEIVERS.

Defensive line: These guys showed up big time as well. They sacked Newton five times. Akiem Hicks, Eddie Golman, Mitch Unrein and Leonard Floyd made sCam Newton their bitch and it was beautiful. Fuck that guy.

Play-calling on offense: 2nd and goal at the 1 and instead of doing a simple quarterback sneak or fullback dive, they to run the ball to the side. It only lead to a field goal. This has to change. Trubisky is not being put in a position to succeed. They stopped with the bootlegs and now, they aren’t giving him more protection. The offensive line is bad and that’s they need to use two tight ends for max protect if he’s going to drop back to pass. Even the running backs are getting stuffed at times (see the 2nd and goal at the 1).

As crazy as this sounds, had the Vikings lost today, the Bears would have only been one game out of first place. Insane. The Packers did lose and the Lions had a bye. Next up are the Saints (who beat the Packers today) in the Superdome.

Well, when your team has a lead of 17-3 and then, 24-16 at the two-minute warning, there should be no excuse them to blow it. The Bears won this in overtime thanks to a gutsy run by Jordan Howard and a prayer from Trubisky to Wright. Then, hell officially froze over as Connor Barth nailed a 40-yard field goal to win it.

Mitchell Trubisky: He’s doing what he can. The offensive line can’t protect him and receivers cannot get open. The play-calling also needs to be better. The Ravens were prepared for his bootleg runs. He needs to have more plays with him to be in the pocket WITH an option to scramble. Maybe next year when the Bears have another high draft pick, Pace can trade that along with three other picks just to move up one spot and take a wide receiver. I have faith in that.

Adrian Amos: Hey, this guy and Kyle Fuller came to play. Amos had an interception for a touchdown. The entire defense was solid only giving up three field goals. Akiem Hicks had a field day on Joe Flacco.

Tariq Cohen: Touchdown pass? Great! Fumble leading to points by the Ravens? Bad. Back to the touchdown, great play-calling by Dowell Loggains. Trubisky isn’t putting up big numbers, but these trick plays are opening up other options. Zach Miller had a nice catch in the end zone from Cohen.

Jordan Howard: 36 carries, 167 yards. 53-yard run in overtime. Enough said.

Special teams: These fucking guys are terrible. Up 17-3, Bobby Rainey gets knocked down by his own teammate and the Bears think he’s down. And instead, they all spectate. PLAY UNTIL THE WHISTLE. Touchdown Ravens. Then, after Trubisky throws a touchdown to Dion Sims (great catch), the Bears are leading 24-13. Two-minute warning is up and the Bears promptly punted after failing to get a yard on 3rd down. Then, an EASY touchdown return by Michael Campanaro. The Ravens promptly succeed on the two-point conversion. The special teams allowed this to happen.

Next up: sCam Newton and the Panthers come to town next Sunday. Lock your doors or risk having your laptop stolen by sCam Newton.

A ton of penalties.

Bad defense.

Costly turnovers.

Isn’t that every loss by the Bears? I mean, they had a touchdown in the first quarter only to have it called back by a holding penalty. They also stopped the Vikings late in the game and Leonard Floyd was called for holding. I mean, this is what it is. The Bears are still a very bad football team.

Mitch Trubisky: Hey, it was fun watching him play. That two-point conversion was amazing. I know that interception was not a smart throw that cost them the game late. RUN THE DAMN BALL. But overall, bad defense and penalties ultimately decided it. And if anyone thinks Mike Glennon gave them a better chance, please go put your head into a bucket of wet cement.

Bears vs. Ravens next week in Baltimore.

Your thoughts in the thread.

It’s late. The game was delayed about 45 minutes. The defense is just hard to watch. In fact, this entire team is tough to tolerate.

Mike Glennon: Fuck this guy. He’s been responsible for four turnovers and it’s only the end of the 3rd quarter. I’ve seen enough. I am sure all of you have as well.

Connor Barth: Can someone please explain how this idiot keeps his job? This guy could bang John Fox’s old lady and still be employed by this team. He needs to be given a swirly in a high school locker room for his putrid kicking. What a way to kill any momentum this team may have had.

Defense: TURN. AROUND. WHEN. THE. BALL. IS. THROWN. TO. A. WIDE. RECEIVER. Also, nice going by Danny Trevathan for that helmet hit when the receiver was already stopped. That lead to a touchdown rather than a field goal.

Bears vs. Vikings on Monday Night Football October 9th. Who smells 1-4?

Some dickhead (okay, it was me) edited both Mike Glennon and Connor Barth’s Wikipedia page. Call me mean.

Oh, Chicago Bears, I fucking hate you. All of you piss me off in some way, shape or form.

This game today was one of the worst ones I have ever seen the Bears play. And trust me, I know I can be overly dramatic. But I am serious. This was one of the most frustrating, fucked-up games I have ever seen the Bears play EVER. From turnovers, to penalties, to stupid mistakes, this game had it all.

Marcus Cooper: When the Bears finally did something awesome for a change by blocking a field goal attempt, If the Bears do not cut this guy by tomorrow, they truly do not care about winning. I don’t give a fuck if VIRGINIA FUCKING MCCASKEY has to go to Halas Hall to do this tomorrow to cut Marcus Fucking Cooper. He should be gone by Monday to make an example. What he did at the end of the first half of slowing down BEFORE getting to the end zone is one of the dumbest things I’ve seen. And that’s saying something seeing has how this team has been since I was a child.

This was so stupid, I even texted Genrebuster out of frustration because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. That’s how embarrassing this was. Oh, and to put some icing on the cake, he held a receiver in the end zone after the Bears had a stop on 3rd down. Well, that lead to the Steelers getting to within a field goal. FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

End of the first half: So, after this whole stupid fucking scenario, by rule, the Bears had one play at the spot of the penalty (inside the 1). Since I probably figured the Bears wouldn’t have scored that touchdown, a false start penalty did them in resulting in just a field goal.

Connor Barth: How is this fucking guy still in the NFL? Oh, I am sorry. The Bears allow him to still have a job. Nice miss on that easy field goal in the first half, fucker.

Mike Glennon: Speaking of how someone is still employed in football, Mike Glennon did his best to give the game away. He threw an interception and damn near threw another one at the end of regulation. It was unbelievable. This guy can’t throw an accurate pass nor move out of the pocket to save his life.

Jordan Howard/Tarik Cohen: I am not going to bash these two guys too much because they kicked ass on the ground in this game. The play-calling, due to Glennon’s inability to be reasonable quarterback, was very solid. The Bears basically played “Madden” all day and it paid dividends. But, like in Madden, you keep running the ball and fumbles will start. Jordan Howard fumbled on a run in the second half (it looked like his knee was down). That lead to the game-tying field goal. Then, at the end of regulation, Cohen got the first down but fumbled it right after getting hit. Thankfully, Bobbie Massie recovered it just in time.

Cohen was amazing in overtime on that run that got called back. He wasn’t out of bounds, but one of the referee called him out at the 37. Two plays later, Howard went right in and ran the ball down the field. I was delaying a celebration thinking there would be a flag (because it would have been appropriate for there to be one). Some shitty news as it appears Howard hurt his shoulder. Even after, he stayed in the game and got over 100 yards rushing. Wow.

1-2 and a Thursday Night showdown with the Packers. Also, Marcus Cooper sucks. I don’t think I mentioned that.

God help us all.

If the Bears somehow come back to win, fine. But, I’ve seen enough to decide that the Bears will lose. Here’s your recap.

Mike Glennon: 6/6 and then, throw a pass in triple-coverage with another tight end wide open? INTERCEPTION!

Defense: Forced a field goal and a punt. Great. The secondary still sucks.

Tarik Cohen: Dude, what the fuck? Don’t pick up a punt that’s bouncing. That lead to the touchdown.

Next up are the Steelers in Pittsburgh. 0-3, here we come.

Come on George. Do the right thing for this franchise and can these two guys along with John Fox. If you truly give a shit about the future of this team, you would make these sweeping changes.

Well, it’s a new season. But it’s the same shit. Today, we are reminded once again what a bad team looks like. Good teams find ways to win these kinds of games. Bad teams find ways to lose. Once again, the Bears displayed the latter.

Mike Glennon/play-calling: Fuck this guy and the idiot Oompa Loompa for an offensive coordinator. 1st and Goal at the 5 with 23 seconds left and it’s three straight passes? RUN. THE. FUCKING. BALL. At least on first down. That way, they still have one or two plays left to throw it. Instead, Josh Bellamy drops a pass. Then, Howard takes his eye off the ball at the last second for an incompletion. That is followed by a dropped/deflection to Zach Miller. 4th down and the offensive line can’t protect the fucking idiot playing quarterback. Glennon can’t run. He can’t move out of the pocket. Good quarterbacks are usually ones who have either great offensive lines like brick walls or they’re mobile. Glennon doesn’t have either of those options.

Secondary: Oh, lord, do these guys suck or what? Austin Hooper was wide open all the way down the field on the last touchdown by the Falcons. He went 88 yards for that and when the secondary did catch up to him, they couldn’t tackle them to save their lives. Hooper all by himself down the field gave me nightmares of Reggie Wayne in the Super Bowl against the Bears and Randall Cobb in 2013 in the last game of the season. It was absolutely stupid. Teams are laughing at the Bears now.

Tarik Cohen: He was the only bright spot in this game. 5 rushes for 66 yards on the ground. He had 8 catches for 47 yards and was a threat all day. It wasn’t his fault that the rest of his teammates sucked.

Akiem Hicks: This fucking guy plays well the entire game. Then, he decides to still try to tackle Matt Ryan with the ball well out of his hands. The result? Roughing the passer. Instead of getting the Falcons to punt, they end up getting another field goal out of it. I have no idea if this was the play that decided the game, but it made the Bears attempt to win the game with a touchdown rather than aiming for overtime. But, it wouldn’t have mattered because it would be so “Bear” to have Connor Barth miss a chip-shot field goal late.

Next up: The Bears head South to take on known rapist, Jameis Winston and the Buccaneers. Since the Bears clearly aren’t going to do a damn thing all year, the least they can do is beat the ever living shit out of Winston.