Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Ben Johnson

(Turn the volume all the way up in the video.)

Who here thought the Bears would win this game?

Those who raised your hand are liars.

Every year, there is that one game where nobody expects the Bears to win. Before the season started, I didn’t pick this one to be that game. The Bears played nearly perfect all game long on both sides of the ball. The conditions weren’t easy either as there was some moisture in the air. There were fumbles and slips. But holy shit. There was even a dude on ESPN saying the Bears had no chance to win. Holy shit.

Offense | What have I been screaming about all my life about it being 3rd and inches? QUARTERBACK SNEAK. I think there were three sneaks and all went for first downs. It isn’t rocket science, folks. Sneak it in for that half yard and start a new set of downs. It took the Bears the entire duration of my fandom (30-plus years) to finally have common sense. Justin Fields was running for his life and somehow made it work. The pass play to Herbert after a pump fake went for a touchdown. The replay made me shit myself seeing Fields get sandwiched. Fuck. But hey, look at the running game. Montgomery and Herbert did their thing. It really is refreshing to see a team finally run the ball when needed and not get stupid with tricks. Nothing stupid really happened tonight.

Defense | You know what else I have been screaming about my entire life with this team? COVER YOUR RECEIVERS. And what do you know? The Bears did it. Three interceptions. Why? Because they actually were following receivers around when a play was going on rather than play the coveted “COVER WHO?” defense we were so accustomed to. They also got a fumble recovery. I admit that it became concerning after Zappe went in and got two touchdowns in a manner of six or seven plays. But when the Bears got that touchdown and field goal going into halftime, the Patriots were already having their backs against the wall. The defense did something great for a change and that was not giving up any points in the second half. There I was all second half waiting for them to blow it and they didn’t. WOW.

Special Teams | Cairo Santos. He’s earned every penny of that contract. Four field goals.

Halftime | Okay. One negative. I usually find myself needing to take a shit at halftime and it seems like after I finish, the second half has already begun. 12 minutes is ridiculous. Give me 15.

The Cowboys are up next. I really do pray this is the start of something great. But again, these are the Bears we’re talking about. We’ll see what happens.

Go Phillies!

https://sports.yahoo.com/mlb-playoffs-astros-yankees-alcs-game-4-lance-mccullers-jr-nestor-cortes-jr-aaron-judge-184947056.html

It’s great having a Sunday where the Bears aren’t playing. I actually get to do other things around the house or for work. This Sunday will be another where they won’t play. Unfortunately after, the remaining ten games are noon starts.

I feel so awful for forgetting this. Shitty Bears football makes us forget to appreciate a person who actually did some good for the franchise. He was before my time, but former general manager of the Bears Jerry Vainisi, who was in charge during one of the few times when the Bears were relevant, passed about ten days ago. Some of the readers that were around that time probably have great things to say about him. Yes, Jim Finks built the team before that. But Vainisi drafted The Fridge, William Perry and it helped the Bears win their only Super Bowl. He also added Wilber Marshall and Kevin Butler. I’d say that’s pretty amazing that he got three great players in one draft unlike some general managers that came after him who couldn’t draft one good player in a given year.

And today, we lost Hall of Fame pitcher Bruce Sutter. Again, before my time. But growing up, I heard nothing but great things about him as a pitcher. He played with the Cubs in the 70’s and early 80’s before going to the hated Cardinals. He was the pitcher who gave up the homeruns to Sandberg in ’84. Even though baseball sucks now, I definitely have an appreciation not only for how the game was when I was growing up, but how it was before that. It was surely a golden era of the sport when he was playing.

1st and goal in the first quarter. Can you run the ball? No. We’ll pass and have the ball intercepted.

4th and goal in the second quarter at the goal line. Can you do a quarterback sneak? No. We’ll try to have a back lined up five yards back.

1st and goal at the 5 with 45 seconds or so left. Can you run the ball? No.

Velus Jones fucked up on a punt return two games ago. Can you stop letting take punts back? No. We’ll let him keep going out there and fumble it again.

Can Luke Getsy go fuck himself? No. He’s going to get a contract extension after this latest abysmal failure.

I fucking hate this franchise. Everyone working at 1920 Football Drive in Lake Forest can go fuck themselves.

There is zero reason for us to be optimistic. Five games in, the Bears are all but eliminated from playoff contention. The NFC East is stacked with the Eagles being undefeated along with both the Cowboys and Giants at 4-1. You would have to think that at least two of the Wild Card spots are filled there. The last spot is either the Packers or 49ers.

The Bears would need to go 9-3/8-4 to get into the playoffs. The other teams in the NFC have already determined that is what is necessary. Therefore, the chances of the Bears doing that are less than me going on a date with Cheryl Scott. Not realistic.

Tomorrow night, they could be three losses out of the last spot after six games. The odds were not in their favor to begin with and it just gets worse from here on out.

Oh, and Ihmir Smith-Marsette is still on the team. So you can tell this dis-organization has no idea how to evaluate talent.

Your thoughts in the thread.

Hey Poles, you’re forgetting to do something today (other than resign as general manager).

Talk about emotionally draining. This team does that. How appropriate was it that some no-name fuckwad named Ihmir Smith-Marsette refused to go out of bounds on the last drive like a smart player would only to have it ripped away from him.

Make no mistake about it. This defense is fucking garbage. The first three drives of the game were the Vikings driving down at will.

The first drive of the game for the Bears had them having a delay of game on the first play. THE FIRST FUCKING PLAY. Un-disciplined. We’ve seen this before.

Dante Pettis sucks. He can’t hang onto the fucking ball.

Then of course, that glorious defense at the end. They give up the game-winning touchdown by letting the Vikings march down at will (again). That drive took up half of the quarter. PATHETIC.

It didn’t matter at the end, but the choice to go for two in the third made it tougher. Not smart.

Fuck this entire team. Fuck management. Fuck the coaches. Fuck the players. They are all a disgrace to the fans and even their families. Fuck all of them.

How is the offensive line still shitty? Look no further than Ryan Poles’ stupidity this past April in the draft.

Braxton Jones, Zachary Thomas, Doug Kramer, Ja’Tyre Carter. Those are four offensive linemen taken out of the 11 picks.

How many are playing for the team? Two.

I know Kramer is out with an injury. Jones is starting. Carter is dressed, but not playing (or at least not much). Zachary Thomas? On the practice squad.

What is the point of drafting players if they are just going to be on the practice squad or even cut before season even begins? This also contains Elijah Hicks, a free safety drafted in the seventh round. I don’t think he’s even been on the field yet.

I know guys like Kyler Gordon and Jaquan Brisker are out there playing (and sucking at football). But at least we’re finding that out now so they can be cut after this season. The other ones I mentioned, need to be out there as well and being shitty. Drafting and not playing them is fucking stupid. This isn’t baseball where someone goes into the minors for a few years. For football, these players drafted should be ready to go.

This was the most frustrating game I’ve seen in the last several years and imagine how much territory that covers. Fuck this consistently shitty franchise. This was unbelivable.

Fuck Matt EberLOSE. Fuck Luke Getsy and his idiotic play-calling.

Fuck this entire defense. They can’t stop basic college football plays. More specifically, fuck Kyler Gordon. Illegal contact one play. The next? Blatant pass interference.

Fuck Velus Jones. Cut this fucking bum.

Fuck Justin Fields. EVERY quarterback from Ohio State in my lifetime to play in the NFL has been rotten trash. We’ve seen this on the Bears before. Craig Krenzel, anyone?

This game was very much winnable. But since Luke Getsy doesn’t know how to call plays for the offense and put them in a position to succeed, this was the result. And Daniel Jones made the defense look PATHETIC.

Last, but not least, fuck Trevor Semen.

It’s not going to get any easier as the Vikings are up next.