Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Ben Johnson

I want to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your families. I will have a Bears’ recap Sunday night.

I was going to have a recap on the game against the Chargers. I was at the game and the Bears, albeit some stupid decisions such as a fake punt or shitty cornerback coverage on Vincent Jackson, won the game. It was a costly win as numerous reports have Jay Cutler being out for the rest of the season (Unless they make the playoffs) with a broken thumb. It just goes to show how this guy plays. He throws an interception and yet, runs his ass off to stop the other player from scoring and breaks his thumb in the process. We could be meatballs and blame Johnny Knox for slipping and thus, leading to the interception.  FUCK. SHIT. WE SUCK AGAIN!

Caleb Hanie will be the man in charge to try to get the Bears to the playoffs. I must say, it’s a better option than Todd Collins. All stupid jokes aside, Hanie is in a tough position. We all love Hanie. Right now, the Bears are in firm control for the sixth playoff spot. On Thursday, we are going to have to root for the Packers to take care of the Lions so the Bears can then have the fifth spot in terms of tiebreakers. With six games to go, the Bears realistically have to go 3-3 to clinch a playoff spot.

The Raiders barely beat a shitty Vikings team. The Chiefs aren’t all that impressive and the Broncos despite the Tebow sploogefest have had to have late miraculous comebacks the last few weeks just to win games. Those are the Bears’ next three opponents. After that are the Seahawks, Packers and Vikings. Even before the Cutler injury, the Bears were going to lose the game against the Packers anyway so the Bears have five chances to win three games. It can be done.

I do not know where to start about this game. The Bears went into this game needing to win to be in control of securing a wild card spot for the playoffs. There is still a long way to go, but the Bears did what they had to do and much more. The defense and special teams scored more points than the offense and that may sound sad knowing the Bears’ offense, but if they do that more often, they will win. They are now tied with the Lions for a playoff spot and have a chance to win a tie-breaker if things go their way in the next few weeks.

Offense: I am going to try to take it easy on the offense in the recap. I thought some of the plays were at best, questionable by Mike Martz. It was only 20-6 at halftime so the Lions still had a chance in the game. I thought the Bears should have scored more. Cutler only threw 19 passes and it wasn’t a factor but he did fumble the ball twice with one being a turnover. Matt Forte did just fine getting 64 yards on 18 rushes. Earl Bennett has proven to be the best receiver on this team as he has made some great catches that have continued drives for the offense. One scary part in the game was when Cutler was driven into the ground by classless turd, Nick Fairley. The Bears could have been fucked for the season if Cutler was injured. Seeing that replay made me cringe.

Defense: The defense kicked serious ass in this game. The play was flawless throughout the game. Stafford was picked off four times and twice, my two favorite players, Major Wright Wrong and Charles Tillman (Worthless) returned those picks for touchdowns. It’s amazing what happens when the cornerbacks and safeties actually cover the receivers. For the second game in a row, this has been the strong point of the defense. WHERE WAS THIS SHIT ALL THESE YEARS? Son of a bitch. The numbers for Calvin Johnson and Nate Burleson looked good but it was mostly in the last quarter. Julius Peppers is a man possessed. He forced a fumble on Johnson that lead to the first touchdown of the game. I thought the defensive line and linebackers played very well also. The Lions couldn’t get any consistency with the running or passing.

Special Teams: Devin Hester. I fucking love this guy. Before his touchdown return, he nearly took back the first attempt. I think he was just taken out of the game because of the score and not because of his injury but I am still praying his ankle isn’t bothering him. Robbie Gould nailed three field goals out of four attempts which is good enough this game.

Next week, the Bears play the Chargers at home. The Chargers have an offense that is pretty damn good but if the Bears can play defense like they have the last two games, they have a chance to win. The offense needs to get back in sync though to not to put so much pressure on the defense. This will be once again, a must-win game.

I would like to congratulate the idiots of Penn State University. Those kids are now up there with the city of Vancouver in the stupid department. This time, a coach gets fired and a university riots? I am not even going to get into why the reason why Joe Paterno was fired. I thought the “Occupy Wall Street” crap was something people took to an extent but a coach getting fired? Give me a fucking break. There are more important things in this world. Talk about stupidity. Take a look at these pictures. Have a good weekend everybody.

I don’t know where to start. All I can say is that the Bears showed for one night that they can win a game despite not playing their best. They say good teams find a way to win but I am not going to go far as saying the Bears are a good team. I need to see more. I am not trying to be the party pooper here but there are flaws on this team and they are noticeable. But it’s up to this team to play better in other parts of the game to make up for them. For the first time in a long time, Lovie Smith of all people out-coached someone else. Unbelievable.

Offense: The offensive line was the main reason why the Bears won this game. ZERO SACKS. Everyone on the line made excellent blocks for Forte to run through. The guy that stuck out the most as playing very well was Lance Louis. I know he is probably going to be benched when Carimi comes back but I am sure he will fill in when needed somewhere else. He did do a very nice job by pushing an Eagles lineman into Cutler on a drive that resulted in a roughing the passer penalty. The Bears received some very favorable calls by the refs. I said this before and I’ll say it again: It’s amazing what our quarterback can do when he has more than two seconds to throw the ball. Cutler made some mistakes by overthrowing/underthrowing a few receivers. But once again, he made the plays when they mattered the most. He scrambled around the pocket a few times and some turned into big plays. Matt Forte once again, rushed for over 100 yards. It’s now time for a coincidence that really pissed me off (Cue Irish Yeti). Jon Gruden who was a good coach but now, a terrible announcer, talked about how great Forte was and how he never fumbles the ball. What happens? He fumbles twice in one game and both times, they are turned into points for the Eagles. Fuck it though. He is still the best player on the team. PAY THE MAN!

If this game against the Eagles didn’t convince you that with the exception of the returning Early Bennett that the wide receivers are terrible, I don’t know what will. Dane Sanzenbacher is horrible. He was thrown to only once but it went right through his hands. Also, Roy Williams and Devin Hester also dropped easy passes throughout the game. I love Devin Hester but he has no business being on offense. He was also hurt on a play towards the end of the game and I pray, that he is fine. The Bears won’t go anywhere without him being out there on kickoffs and punt returns. Getting back to Bennett, he is the best option for a receiver and it showed Monday night. I really wish the Bears had another decent option. I do have to mention one thing I noticed that has been pissing me off for a while now: Wildcat. Memo to the Bears: STOP RUNNING THE FUCKING WILDCAT. THAT PLAY NEVER FUCKING WORKS. Mike Martz should be kicked in the nuts for every time he calls that play.

Defense: I am going to try to limit the criticizing of the defense since I thought they made some really great plays but they also made some bad plays. For the most part, they shut down the running game of the Eagles. There were a few plays throughout the game where DeSean Jackson was wide open for some catches. That shit really needs to stop. That kind of shit won’t and never work against teams like the Packers or Patriots. Major Wright Wrong intercepted a Vick pass that was deflected by Lance Briggs in the red zone. Phew. I thought both Briggs and Urlacher played their best game of the season. I said before the game that if they don’t get pressure, it would be a long night. They did just enough to give the offense a chance to win this game and they succeeded. The line did indeed, played well with the likes of Israel Idonije, Julius Peppers and Henry Melton.

Special Teams: Robbie Gould nailed three field goals and it proved to be huge because the offense still had some trouble trying to put the game away late. One thing that pissed me off was when the Eagles had the fake punt going and Corey Graham along with someone else didn’t cover the receivers. The Bears are very lucky that the punter couldn’t throw worth a damn on that play or the result of this game could have been different.

Next week, the Bears play the Lions to see who has a chance to get the first wild card spot. The Bears right now, are in the driver’s seat for the last spot but I still say that this is a must-win despite having tie-breakers over several teams below them. Get it done, boys.

Fire away.

It’s been quite a while since I wrote about fake wrestling and I was going to write about something else storyline-related in the next week or two. But while watching the pay-per-view Sunday and as I am typing, RAW, I couldn’t help but notice a man sitting in the front row (both nights) with the infamous “We hate Cena” t-shirt.

Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with this fan. However, he has been spotted in many cities in the last few years sitting front row (every time) while wearing the same “We Hate Cena” shirt. There are two reasons why this guy continues to sit in the same area every damn time: He is either getting paid by WWE to sit there (I doubt it though) or simply, he has a lot of money and no life. I’ll take the latter.

I am not trying to sound pissed off, but I am rather very annoyed with this attention-whore/weird fuck. Forget the question of how he affords to go to all these cities and continuing to sit front row, but does this guy have a job? He obviously doesn’t have a girlfriend or wife. The fact that he continues to wear the same shirt to every event tells me he is taking this shit way too seriously.

Sure, it’s fun to sit front row and get on TV. I even sat on the TV side and was shown on quite a few times in years past (Larry Horse sign anyone?). I go to maybe two or three events a year and if I do get shown on TV one of those times, even the people who I know probably won’t recognize me. I don’t drive/fly city-to-city and dish out thousands of dollars each month to sit front row to show hate for a guy who is acting on a TV show.

To the turd in the “We Hate Cena” shirt, it’s wrestling. It’s a TV show that’s scripted (It’s still real to me damnit). We get that you hate Cena. A lot of fans do. But the fact that you take this shit seriously by trying to make a “statement” that you hate Cena is probably getting on the other anti-Cena people’s nerves. For myself, I respect Cena as a person and wrestler because of how hard he worked to get to the top. I am probably annoyed as most fans that he continues to hog the main event. But the guy is one of the biggest cash cows for Vince McMahon’s company since the days of Steve Austin and before that, Hulk Hogan. He isn’t going anywhere. So stop making an idiot of yourself. And while you are working on that, go fill out some applications for a job in whatever town/state you reside in. That is, if you even have an education.

What a turd.

When the Bears were up 21-5, I was thinking of having the headline “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it”. I forgot that in most cases, the Bears usually find a way to blow it. Without a doubt, this was horrible to watch during the second half. The Bears should have won this game by four touchdowns the way the defense played early on.

Offense: As I said earlier, my headline was suppose to be something else. That was because the Bears actually ran the football very well in the first half. Then, the second half came and we saw plays that made us wonder if the ghosts of past offensive coordinators that the Bears have had were taking over Mike Martz’s brain. It turns out that Martz is actually stupid and called a bunch of passing plays when they should have just continued to run the ball. Cutler kicked ass in the first half but sucked ass in the second. It’s not completely his fault but his last interception was terrible. Regardless, he was spot on early in the game with the wide receivers.

Back to Martz being a dumbass, the Bears had a first and goal late to try to put the game away once and for all. Instead of just running the ball the first time around, Cutler throws three straight passes with one of them nearly getting intercepted. Instead of fourth down, Aqib Talib of the Buccaneers plays the role of another, stupid cornerback that is on the Bears by committing a personal foul penalty that gives the Bears another first and goal. Then, stupidity rises but in a reverse role. Three straight runs (even on third down) forces the Bears to kick the field goal and give the Buccaneers a chance to win the game.

I think the offensive line had another great game. Each of them had great blocks throughout. The one who stuck out the most in my opinion was J’Marcus Webb. There were a couple plays in which Matt Forte had big gains on and Webb did a great job creating the gaps. The wide receivers were surprisingly good. Roy Williams dropped an easy pass early on but ended up being the best receiver today.

Matt Forte was outstanding once again. To tell you how good this guy is, if Martz wasn’t such a stupid fuck, he had an outside chance of rushing for 200 yards for the second time this season. I am certain he had at least 115 of them in the first half alone. Now on to another stupid fuck, Jerry Angelo. PAY THIS MAN!

Defense: Like the offense, the defense was kicking ass in the first half. I actually thought this defense was going to turn the corner as far the season is concerned. Instead, they went in reverse when the fourth quarter arrived. The first thing that pissed me off was the Lance Briggs interception that was taken all the way to the one yard line that would have given the Bears a chance to be up by three touchdowns. What happens? Tim Jennings (Fuck you) committed the most pointless penalty in football by having an illegal block in the back and it fucked up the whole thing. Then Brian Urlacher gets an interception in the red zone only to nearly give it right back by fumbling it. Luckily, his knee was down an eye-blink before the ball came back.

During the first three quarters of the game, I was thinking to myself “Charles Tillman (Worthless) has been playing pretty decent.” Stupid me again. After Cutler’s second interception, Josh Freeman throws an easy touchdown pass to get the Buccaneers within a field goal. Why? Because Tillman (Worthless) all of a sudden stopped covering Dezmon Briscoe who was all alone for that score. It doesn’t help either that Chris Harris was trying to be dumber than Tillman (Worthless) by being far away from Briscoe on that touchdown. I think it’s time to bench Chris Harris again. This shit needs to stop.

On the good side of the defense, I think Chris Conti played a pretty good game. He came up with a big interception in the first quarter at the goal line. Then later in the game, he stopped the Buccaneers from converting the two-point conversion. He deserves to start another week. Also, D.J. Moore saved the day for the entire team by intercepting Freeman in the final minute. For some odd reason, I was worried that the way the day was going for the Bears, that Cutler would fumble the snap and give Tampa Bay yet, another chance to win the game.

Special teams: Not much here to discuss. Hester didn’t have much of a chance to take a return back. Moron play-by-play announcer Kenny Albert mentioned before Robbie Gould’s first field goal attempt that he would be the most accurate kicker in the NFL if he made it. He was then way off on the attempt. Make of that what you will.

The Bears have a bye-week coming up. Thank God too. I need a week off from these assholes. This win was important because the teams that the Bears needed to lose in terms of the last wild card spot, lost too. After the bye, they go on the road to take on the Eagles on Monday Night Football.