Fire Ryan Poles | Fire Ben Johnson

Well folks, I have been meaning to mention this first one for about three years now. This is April Rose. She hosts “The Chicago Huddle” on Comcast SportsNet which is a show featuring Dan Jiggetts and a player from the Bears every week to talk about the past game and a preview of the next one. She basically discusses what is coming up on the show. Very rarely, she is never wearing something that covers her cleavage. If you read her bio online, her favorite book is The Bible. Yeah, be a skank and yet, religious. Not to say there aren’t people like that, but oh well. Hey April, if you continue to do this, do yourself a favor and just show them completely to the world.

Next up is Aiyana Cristal of Comcast SportsNet. This woman is just terrible on TV. I try to forget the whole “she keeps wearing tops that expose her cleavage”. The main problem I have with this, is when she is talking about a story, it’s said in a way that she seems like she has no idea what the hell she is talking about. I’ve seen her being paired with fellow newcomer, Kelly Crull and in one show, both stumbled their words several times. It’s horrendous. So what I said for April goes for Aiyana. Both of these women aren’t very bright people.

OK. So why am I pissed off about these two women? It’s been discussed on here and throughout the media, that Comcast SportsNet fired two women who actually know what they are talking about when it comes to sports. Those two women, being Gail Fischer and Susannah Collins. No reason, nor evidence was found on why Gail wasn’t brought back. Now, some of you may remember Susannah getting canned back in late April for a simple flub on the air when discussing the success of the Blackhawks going into the playoffs. One mistake costs her her job. Simply put, they cannot tolerate someone’s error nor their past. And the bullshit part was, Susannah always dressed in an appropriate way. No one ever complained about her and she knew her sports. The Blackhawks were supposedly behind her firing as well and while that could be another discussion for another day, I will say the Blackhawks do a fine job of having ice girls out there during breaks shoveling ice while some of them hide their tramp stamps with make up. Fantastic.

Enter April Rose and Aiyana Cristal. First off, these women get hired for their looks. Fine. Then, they dress like skanks. But don’t tell Comcast SportsNet that. They’ll just fire someone else who knows a thing or two. And back to April Rose: At least Sarah Spain’s are real. I can respect that even though she’s an idiot.

Dear God,

Do you really hate the Bears that much? Why can’t you give us fans a break? What did we ever do? Even when you give us something to be optimistic about, you give us a kick in our collective sacks. I am done praying to you. You never listen.

                                                                                                                              Sincerely,

                                                                                                                                           Fro Dog

Oh, I guess I have to write this recap, right? It’s going to be short. I’m exhausted.

Offense: Well, Josh McCown did everything he could to win this game. That was, until the end when he held onto the ball too long and before that, Forte couldn’t run out of bounds. Oh well.

Defense: They’re all dropping like flies and they still suck. Charles Tillman and Chris Conte really fucked themselves on that floater in the end zone. PATHETIC.

Special teams: Robbie Gould misses a field goal that could have actually helped the Bears on that last drive. That pissed me off. But hey. Hester took one back. So there is something to feel good about.

Bye week coming up. The Packers follow on Monday Night football. Something tells me that Aaron Rodgers is already looking forward to that.

People who have read my site all of these years (all three of you), know that I tend to be on the negative side when it comes to our teams. Now, I will say that most of you can say the same seeing how our teams have performed in our lifetimes. It’s been brutal for the most part. When it comes to Chicago sports, we as fans tend to just wait for a collapse because really, that’s usually what happens. However, with the Bears, I’ve felt good about this team since Phil Emery was put in charge to run the show. I became even more optimistic when Lovie Smith was shown the door after last season.

Yes. It’s still frustrating to see them play even now but you cannot convince me that they are worse than last year. I think they are a much better team this year even though the defense continues to suck. Does it make you want to scream at the TV when the Bears outplay a team like the Vikings, yet, have to come back in the final minute to win it? Yes. Does it piss you off that the Bears get a three touchdown lead on a then, win-less Steelers team only to let them back in it in the final quarter? Sure. Does it suck to almost lose to the win-less Giants? Yes.

This brings me to Phil Emery. I think his first offseason, he was trying to figure out the team which I think all general managers do during the first time they draft players. This last draft, Emery seemed to focus heavily on helping the offense. In one offseason, he fixed the offensive line completely. He signed free agents Matt Slauson and Jermon Bushrod (by cracky). He then drafts Kyle Long and Jordan Mills. Most of you will agree, the offensive line has been solid all year.

With this next draft, I don’t think there is any doubt that Emery will focus solely on fixing the defense. The Bears need help everywhere on this side of the ball. The most important, being the line. I think secondary should follow that with linebackers being addressed last. Regardless, we all should have complete faith in Emery to do this. A lot of the players will be free agents this year and he made it clear that no contract extensions will be given until the season is completed. He is telling everyone to earn their paycheck and that’s how it should be. This makes me feel really good about the team going forward.

I am not going to go far as saying the Bears will miss the playoffs. In fact, I think they have a very good chance to make the playoffs this year. As we all know, once a team is in the playoffs, they have just as much of a chance as any other team. Anybody expect the Ravens to win the Super Bowl last year or even win it? Raise your hand if you did. Anybody? Exactly.

Well, it came down to the Bears not covering their receivers that lead to the victory in this game. All game long, the secondary was fucking atrocious. The Giants had receivers open all game and at the end of the night, the secondary of the Bears left Brandon Myers wide open down the field only to have the ball deflect into the arms of Tim Jennings. Bears win. Barely.

Offense: The offense was on fire in the first half. Second half; not so much. I wasn’t happy with some of the calls late in the game but a play here or there, and they probably score more points. In the first half, Cutler was on his game. Believe it or not, if Cutler had thrown for 300 or more yards in this game, he would have been the first quarterback in FRANCHISE history to throw for that much in three straight games. Think about it. The Bears are one of the oldest franchises in sports. That shows how bad they have been over all of these years. Also, Brandon Marshall and Martellus Bennett had their best games yet as Bears. Bennett in a few occasions, had a catch and looked like he was going to get tackled immediately, he broke free and was able to get extra yardage for first downs. It’s a shame that we have been disrespected as fans by having Kellen Davis shoved down our throats every game.

Guys, did you all notice the green shoes on Brandon Marshall. Apparently, Brad Nessler had to say that quite a few times for me to finally realize that. I must have not been paying attention.

Back to being frustrated, the Bears get an interception on the first drive of the game. I thought Trestman should have taken the points right there. Luckily, it didn’t come back to haunt the Bears but in the future against better teams, it’s best to just kick the field goal to get off to a good start.

Defense: What else can you say? Don’t let the three turnovers they caused get your excited. Mel Tucker needs to work the secondary. Brandon Jacobs had over 100 yards rushing. Then, the receivers are open all night long. I lost count in the second quarter but let’s say at least 11 of Eli Manning’s 14 completions were to wide open receivers. This shit really has to stop. It’s enough that all of the defensive tackles are gone. It would be nice to see the secondary actually do something productive. Once again, I get that they had three interceptions but a play here or there and the Bears are 3-3.

Special Teams: Robbie Gould had two field goals that were ultimately the difference in this game. Yes, a bad kickoff that led to a big return. What the hell was Devin Hester doing screaming at Gould on the sidelines anyway? Hester didn’t have his best game and he had a fumble in the process as well. As a whole, the special teams has regressed since Dave Toub left. You kind of had a FEELING that was going to happen but wow. This needs to be fixed soon as well.

Here’s another interesting stat (cue Yeti): The Bears beat the Giants at home for the first time since 1991. Holy shit. I also thought on the last drive that Eli Manning was going to win it just like in 2007 against the Bears at Soldier Field that propelled the Giants to pretty much, running the table that year en route to a Super Bowl championship. As most of you know, I am fairly superstitious but deja vu took a back seat this time.

More bad news however. Alshon Jeffery was hurt in this game along with D.J. Williams and James Anderson. Charles Tillman sat out this game because of the short week. The good news is, the Bears have ten days off before their next game so somewhat of a bye-week is in store. The injuries are piling up at a rapid pace. I get that it’s the NFL and this will happen but the Bears need some help. The way I see it, they should start finding people off the scrap heap and see what they can do. They need help on defense. I’ll say it again: Fuck Roger Goodell and his Thursday night games. He doesn’t give a shit about the safety of the players. What a fucking hack. If Chucky ever sees this guy in public, it’s safe to say some heavy mining equipment will make contact with Goodell’s head. No doubt about it.

The Redskins are up next a week from Sunday.

That’s enough. I am sick of this shit already. Everyone is to blame. This is inexcusable. The Bears are now tied with both the Packers and Lions in the loss column for first place. The sad part out of all of this is, that if they just won last week, this loss stings less and they are still in first place by themselves.

So what happens in this game? Let me make this quick. The defense can’t cover any receivers. Eric Weems serves no purpose in the NFL. Earl Bennett all of a sudden, can’t catch. Lance Briggs seals the deal for the Bears by jumping offsides. A lot of players are hurt.

I think a lot of people expected the Bears to lose this game. I think it’s just how they lose is what pisses all of us off. What’s worse? Another game four days later against the Giants. Thanks Roger Goodell. Do yourself a favor and jump off Sears Tower you fucking hack.

The Bears only lost by eight but it wasn’t even that close. This team sucked in every way on Sunday. I am too lazy to talk to sit here and dissect on what all went wrong. Let me just sum it up.

Offense: Cutler sucked. But let’s be honest, it’s all or nothing with him. He can take the team to places we can only imagine of or, he can play like shit like he did Sunday and give the team zero chance. I’ll give the Bears credit however for not giving up.

Defense:

Special teams: Can someone tell Robbie Gould that on onside kicks, they shouldn’t be kicked more than 15 yards for them to have a chance to recover?

The Saints are next. Let’s see how the Bears respond after this ass kicking.

Have at it, folks.

Good Lord. Can the Bears just beat the shit out of a team for an entire game for a change? Three games into the season and I already feel exhausted. The Bears were up 24-3 and almost fell into the “Lovie-ness” of pissing away a game. If anybody remembers 2010 (If you want your eyes to bleed, feel free to read those recaps in the archives.), the Bears had the reputation of building leads only to have their defense slowly let other teams back into games. This game, it happened again. A penalty on a punt completely turned the game around. But, the fourth quarter arrived. Jay Cutler, again, put his big boy pants on and made some plays. The defense was back and forth all game but prevailed in the end. The Bears win again.

Offense: Cutler wasn’t spectacular overall but the whole “showing up when needed” thing happened again. When the defense let the Steelers back into the game, Cutler and the offense was tested again. The scramble where he basically ran into Steelers’ defender Robert Golden was ballsy. I loved it. DAT JAY CUTLER IS SUCH A PUSSY. HE ISN’T CHICAGO TUFF. Yeah. That play was a middle finger to his critics. Matt Forte, before turning his ankle, was running the ball just fine. He nearly had 100 yards rushing. I am praying he is alright. Back to something good. Earl Bennett. Holy shit. What a catch that was for the touchdown. Good job by Trestman challenging it.

Alright, now time to be ANGRY. Michael Bush (by Cracky) can’t seem to get a yard to save his life. The Bears are at the goal line early in the game and nearly shit themselves. If I remember correctly (It’s late. I am probably forgetting a few things.), the Bears had first and goal at the one. Let’s see, pass, run, run and run. Here I am, screaming for the Bears to just sneak the ball in. It works every damn time and instead, Bush (by Cracky) needs three runs to get one damn yard. If the Bears don’t convert that, they probably lose this game.

Defense: It was up. It was down. They forced five turnovers on the night and two were returned for touchdowns. Bad news is, 458 total yards given up. That is very bad. What’s worse? Henry Melton getting hurt. I am not a doctor, but him going off on a cart isn’t very encouraging. Charles Tillman is nursing a sore groin too. It’s time for the Bears defense to quit fucking around. COVER YOUR DAMN RECEIVERS. The Bears cannot keep doing this shit. Yes, I know have the Bears have an offense now where they can score a lot more but in the NFL, winning shootouts doesn’t work every week. Let’s pray this shit changes fast.

Special Teams: Well, Robbie Gould had an extra point blocked for the first time in a very long time. That sucked. I mentioned this earlier in this recap, but there was a punt with the Bears up 24-3 and they were about to get the ball back until Anthony Walters just missed blocking it. He ended up colliding with punter Zolton Mesko and it resulted in a new set of downs. I am not blaming Walters one bit for that. I am going to blame the defense for not being able to stop Ben Rapistberger right after. He marched the Steelers right down the field and that lead to the Steelers getting within four late in the game.

The Lions are next with first place on the line. Since the Packers and Vikings both lost, with a win next week, the Bears guarantee themselves at least, a two-game lead on every other team in the division.